Custody-Does the parent who can afford the house and hence same schools get the kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not necessarily. I moved out of the house into an apartment 45 minutes away, and took the kids with me. ExDH stayed in the house.

So you have to drive them back and forth to school 45 minutes away from you?

Hell no! They changed schools.

The OP is talking about a totally different situation.

I answered the question the OP posed in the subject title.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op. My ex and I split our assets except the house. We both still own it. I will stay in it til the kids graduate.

You can get a roommate to help with bills.

You split the proceeds when you sell.

We were going to do this until I thought about what would happen if I died while he was still on the deed to the house- he would automatically get all of my equity as joint owner. So I removed him from the deed and executed a promissory note that equaled his portion of the equity. So my owing him his equity money was no longer tied to the ownership of the house. I still intend to pay him off after the kids are out of school but my estate is protected on the off chance that something happens to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op. My ex and I split our assets except the house. We both still own it. I will stay in it til the kids graduate.

You can get a roommate to help with bills.

You split the proceeds when you sell.

We were going to do this until I thought about what would happen if I died while he was still on the deed to the house- he would automatically get all of my equity as joint owner. So I removed him from the deed and executed a promissory note that equaled his portion of the equity. So my owing him his equity money was no longer tied to the ownership of the house. I still intend to pay him off after the kids are out of school but my estate is protected on the off chance that something happens to me.

So if I co-own a boat with a friend of mine, and I die, my friend gets the whole boat no matter what my will says? Interesting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not necessarily. I moved out of the house into an apartment 45 minutes away, and took the kids with me. ExDH stayed in the house.

So you have to drive them back and forth to school 45 minutes away from you?

Hell no! They changed schools.

That must have been great for your kids. Parents split, so the kids get taken from their old neighborhood, friends, and school to a new place 45 minutes away from dad and all their old friends.

You're lucky your ex didn't have a good lawyer, you might have wound up with every-other-weekend custody like my ex did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

We already live in the cheapest TH for this area. There are no apartments/condos that feed into our elementary school.
But there are apartments/condos that feed into same middle/high school and equally good other elementary schools.

Ideas?

I toughed it out in the SFH for six years, then moved to an apt when the older DC hit 12th grade.

[Anonymous]

OP: I would tell your husband to retain a good lawyer and stay in the marital home. I would advise him not to surrender the marital home because it is his best tool to get shared or full custody. If he has to, he can buy you out but that could be one to four years down the road. You could also be required to make some of the mortgage payments on the marital home while he continues to live there for the next one to four years, depending upon what state you are in.

[Anonymous]

I have several friends that divorced when their kids were in elementary school in a cluster that has no apartments that feed into the elementary school. All have 50/50 custody of the children and live within 15 minutes of the ex.

Here were some of the arrangements
- husband stayed in the house and bought the ex-wife out. She moved to an apartment and eventually purchased a condo nearby.
- wife stayed the house and bought out ex thru a combination of refinance, family help, and negotiation with her half of his 401K savings. Later downsized to a condo when kids were out of elementary.
-Sold the house and each rented for awhile. One person rented a house in the same boundaries as the elementary school. Eventually one of them purchased a home.
-husband stayed in the house and had to buyout wife within 2 years. Not sure why there was a time delay but there was.

So honestly I’ve seen lots of options. You would have to check your school cluster but for our elementary school as long as you start the school year there, if it’s the last year and you are within the same cluster that feeds to the same middle school, they will let the child finish out the school year. Also echo what people have mentioned about having something about proximity and moving in the paperwork.

[Anonymous]

I think you should take the house and retitle it in your name- then open a HELOC to cover any big expenses that may come.

[Anonymous]

I don't know in which district you are but the principal might give you a waiver if the kid had been there for a while.I have seen it happened at some very popular elementary schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op. My ex and I split our assets except the house. We both still own it. I will stay in it til the kids graduate.

You can get a roommate to help with bills.

You split the proceeds when you sell.

We were going to do this until I thought about what would happen if I died while he was still on the deed to the house- he would automatically get all of my equity as joint owner. So I removed him from the deed and executed a promissory note that equaled his portion of the equity. So my owing him his equity money was no longer tied to the ownership of the house. I still intend to pay him off after the kids are out of school but my estate is protected on the off chance that something happens to me.

I thought this applies only in the case of a married couple where the house is held as "tenants in common" or something similar. Once you are divorced, all you might have to do is re-do the ownership type and your 50% is part of your estate. Of course, I'm not a lawyer and it would be great if a lawyer confirms this..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op. My ex and I split our assets except the house. We both still own it. I will stay in it til the kids graduate.

You can get a roommate to help with bills.

You split the proceeds when you sell.

We were going to do this until I thought about what would happen if I died while he was still on the deed to the house- he would automatically get all of my equity as joint owner. So I removed him from the deed and executed a promissory note that equaled his portion of the equity. So my owing him his equity money was no longer tied to the ownership of the house. I still intend to pay him off after the kids are out of school but my estate is protected on the off chance that something happens to me.

I thought this applies only in the case of a married couple where the house is held as "tenants in common" or something similar. Once you are divorced, all you might have to do is re-do the ownership type and your 50% is part of your estate. Of course, I'm not a lawyer and it would be great if a lawyer confirms this..

Tenancy in the entirety is what married couples typically have. Tenancy in common (50/50) is what you want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op. My ex and I split our assets except the house. We both still own it. I will stay in it til the kids graduate.

You can get a roommate to help with bills.

You split the proceeds when you sell.

We were going to do this until I thought about what would happen if I died while he was still on the deed to the house- he would automatically get all of my equity as joint owner. So I removed him from the deed and executed a promissory note that equaled his portion of the equity. So my owing him his equity money was no longer tied to the ownership of the house. I still intend to pay him off after the kids are out of school but my estate is protected on the off chance that something happens to me.

I thought this applies only in the case of a married couple where the house is held as "tenants in common" or something similar. Once you are divorced, all you might have to do is re-do the ownership type and your 50% is part of your estate. Of course, I'm not a lawyer and it would be great if a lawyer confirms this..

Tenancy in the entirety is what married couples typically have. Tenancy in common (50/50) is what you want.

You can change how it's titled but what the PP did by switching to the promissory note is also limit any increase in value the ex might enjoy. Tenancy in common would mean that ex gets 50% of any increase in value, but promissory note means that ex is only entitled to the value of the note (which isn't even secured by the house!).

[Anonymous]

Please make sure you read the regs on whichever school district you are in. You're getting a lot of bad advice on here about where the kids are supposed to attend. In FCPS you can choose which school dsitrict if it's 50/50, but anything other than that the kids have to go to school where they reside the majority of the time.

For PP who said schools don't sit outside your house to decide if kids are living in the right place -- yes, they absolutely do, depending on where you live. The VA districts have attendance officers whose only job is to investigate these issues. There are anonymous hotlines set up so parents can report families for investigation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op. My ex and I split our assets except the house. We both still own it. I will stay in it til the kids graduate.

You can get a roommate to help with bills.

You split the proceeds when you sell.

We were going to do this until I thought about what would happen if I died while he was still on the deed to the house- he would automatically get all of my equity as joint owner. So I removed him from the deed and executed a promissory note that equaled his portion of the equity. So my owing him his equity money was no longer tied to the ownership of the house. I still intend to pay him off after the kids are out of school but my estate is protected on the off chance that something happens to me.

I thought this applies only in the case of a married couple where the house is held as "tenants in common" or something similar. Once you are divorced, all you might have to do is re-do the ownership type and your 50% is part of your estate. Of course, I'm not a lawyer and it would be great if a lawyer confirms this..

Tenancy in the entirety is what married couples typically have. Tenancy in common (50/50) is what you want.

You can change how it's titled but what the PP did by switching to the promissory note is also limit any increase in value the ex might enjoy. Tenancy in common would mean that ex gets 50% of any increase in value, but promissory note means that ex is only entitled to the value of the note (which isn't even secured by the house!).

You can always try for it but someone would have to be an idiot to agree to it somewhat for the first reason you mention but moreso for the last reason.

[Anonymous]

Why don't you rent a small, cheap apartment and alternately take turns in the house and apartment? This way the kids never leave the house and it's the parents that are switching homes. Much easier for everyone, housing costs are still shared.

I know a few people who have done this. It worked successfully for them.