Sexless marriage

[Anonymous]

The stats are getting me riled up!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a DW in the same situation, I will be following this thread with much interest.

I'm also a DW in a sexless marriage. Married 5 years and haven't had sex in 3. The last 2 times we did it, I got pregnant both times (one MC, one toddler). DH has a chronic health issue and acts tired and lazy all the time. Even before DC came along, sex had become infrequent and I was always the initiator. I gave up because I got tired of crying myself to sleep after my attempts to have sex were rejected. I never thought I'd be in my mid-30s and not be having any sex at all. I have told DH that it's not normal but it's not easy to talk about. I want another baby now and don't know what to do. It's depressing.

FWIW, I'm thin, HWP, attractive, and others seem to like me. I think I'm a good, intelligent person.

You should have tired of that the first time you did it because that's pathetic and useless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a DW in the same situation, I will be following this thread with much interest.

I'm also a DW in a sexless marriage. Married 5 years and haven't had sex in 3. The last 2 times we did it, I got pregnant both times (one MC, one toddler). DH has a chronic health issue and acts tired and lazy all the time. Even before DC came along, sex had become infrequent and I was always the initiator. I gave up because I got tired of crying myself to sleep after my attempts to have sex were rejected. I never thought I'd be in my mid-30s and not be having any sex at all. I have told DH that it's not normal but it's not easy to talk about. I want another baby now and don't know what to do. It's depressing.

FWIW, I'm thin, HWP, attractive, and others seem to like me. I think I'm a good, intelligent person.

Ugh. I am in a terrifyingly similar situation. I, too, with all the things I worried about / problems I envisioned encountering in my life, never even considered being in my thirties and in a sexless marriage. It's mind-boggling to me. And it sucks because I don't feel like I can talk about it to many people in real life...I feel a definite shame (and anger, and sadness...) about it. FTR I too am thinking about wanting another baby in the near future and don't quite know what to do. In one way, is it wise to being another child into a problematic marriage? But in another, it's not like it's a high conflict marriage, and the truth is I don't think this is something I would end it over...things are pretty good otherwise, and I'm realistic. But damn it really does suck...

I'm not sure what HWP is, but I'm also thin / fit and attractive. And if I didn't bring it up (...not that bringing it up ever changes anything), we would literally just NEVER talk about it. Like it seems he wants to just pretend sex is not something that even exists

PP. I empathize with you and have had the same thoughts.

It kills me when my friends talk about how much sex they're having with their husbands. I've never divulged that I'm in a sexless marriage and just smile and play along.

It's worse when it's drilled into your mind that men think about and want to have sex all the time. Why, then, doesn't he want to do it with me? DH isn't the cheating type and doesn't work late. It doesn't compute.

HWP = height/weight proportionate. I didn't "let myself go" when I had a baby, either.

You should have 'divulged' that long ago and sought help. Your friends are there to help guide you I'd think. If you spend your days just smiling and playing along you should work on your communication and problem solving skills as that might really help you in life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a DW in the same situation, I will be following this thread with much interest.

I'm also a DW in a sexless marriage. Married 5 years and haven't had sex in 3. The last 2 times we did it, I got pregnant both times (one MC, one toddler). DH has a chronic health issue and acts tired and lazy all the time. Even before DC came along, sex had become infrequent and I was always the initiator. I gave up because I got tired of crying myself to sleep after my attempts to have sex were rejected. I never thought I'd be in my mid-30s and not be having any sex at all. I have told DH that it's not normal but it's not easy to talk about. I want another baby now and don't know what to do. It's depressing.

FWIW, I'm thin, HWP, attractive, and others seem to like me. I think I'm a good, intelligent person.

Ugh. I am in a terrifyingly similar situation. I, too, with all the things I worried about / problems I envisioned encountering in my life, never even considered being in my thirties and in a sexless marriage. It's mind-boggling to me. And it sucks because I don't feel like I can talk about it to many people in real life...I feel a definite shame (and anger, and sadness...) about it. FTR I too am thinking about wanting another baby in the near future and don't quite know what to do. In one way, is it wise to being another child into a problematic marriage? But in another, it's not like it's a high conflict marriage, and the truth is I don't think this is something I would end it over...things are pretty good otherwise, and I'm realistic. But damn it really does suck...

I'm not sure what HWP is, but I'm also thin / fit and attractive. And if I didn't bring it up (...not that bringing it up ever changes anything), we would literally just NEVER talk about it. Like it seems he wants to just pretend sex is not something that even exists

PP. I empathize with you and have had the same thoughts.

It kills me when my friends talk about how much sex they're having with their husbands. I've never divulged that I'm in a sexless marriage and just smile and play along.

It's worse when it's drilled into your mind that men think about and want to have sex all the time. Why, then, doesn't he want to do it with me? DH isn't the cheating type and doesn't work late. It doesn't compute.

HWP = height/weight proportionate. I didn't "let myself go" when I had a baby, either.

urban dictionary says HWP is really just a way to hide your weight. What give you more info, me telling you I'm 5"1' and 115# or HWP? Obviously the former.

I'm not hiding anything. 5'8" and 140.

Much better than 5'1" and 140. or 5'8" and 115. Why don't men start giving their stats?

5’10 190 12% BF, usually carry around 10% during competition phases then a little more after. Muscle mostly, maintain weight because I compete at a certain weight class.

Anything more than 12 percent and I start to feel fat. I’ve had bouts of low drive but it’s usually related to anxiety disorder and depression. Medications actually made me worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a DW in the same situation, I will be following this thread with much interest.

I'm also a DW in a sexless marriage. Married 5 years and haven't had sex in 3. The last 2 times we did it, I got pregnant both times (one MC, one toddler). DH has a chronic health issue and acts tired and lazy all the time. Even before DC came along, sex had become infrequent and I was always the initiator. I gave up because I got tired of crying myself to sleep after my attempts to have sex were rejected. I never thought I'd be in my mid-30s and not be having any sex at all. I have told DH that it's not normal but it's not easy to talk about. I want another baby now and don't know what to do. It's depressing.

FWIW, I'm thin, HWP, attractive, and others seem to like me. I think I'm a good, intelligent person.

Ugh. I am in a terrifyingly similar situation. I, too, with all the things I worried about / problems I envisioned encountering in my life, never even considered being in my thirties and in a sexless marriage. It's mind-boggling to me. And it sucks because I don't feel like I can talk about it to many people in real life...I feel a definite shame (and anger, and sadness...) about it. FTR I too am thinking about wanting another baby in the near future and don't quite know what to do. In one way, is it wise to being another child into a problematic marriage? But in another, it's not like it's a high conflict marriage, and the truth is I don't think this is something I would end it over...things are pretty good otherwise, and I'm realistic. But damn it really does suck...

I'm not sure what HWP is, but I'm also thin / fit and attractive. And if I didn't bring it up (...not that bringing it up ever changes anything), we would literally just NEVER talk about it. Like it seems he wants to just pretend sex is not something that even exists

PP. I empathize with you and have had the same thoughts.

It kills me when my friends talk about how much sex they're having with their husbands. I've never divulged that I'm in a sexless marriage and just smile and play along.

It's worse when it's drilled into your mind that men think about and want to have sex all the time. Why, then, doesn't he want to do it with me? DH isn't the cheating type and doesn't work late. It doesn't compute.

HWP = height/weight proportionate. I didn't "let myself go" when I had a baby, either.

urban dictionary says HWP is really just a way to hide your weight. What give you more info, me telling you I'm 5"1' and 115# or HWP? Obviously the former.

I'm not hiding anything. 5'8" and 140.

Most of the women in my gym are “heavier” than that. Most are around the 5’2-5’7 range and can way up to 160, and they look good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a DW in the same situation, I will be following this thread with much interest.

I'm also a DW in a sexless marriage. Married 5 years and haven't had sex in 3. The last 2 times we did it, I got pregnant both times (one MC, one toddler). DH has a chronic health issue and acts tired and lazy all the time. Even before DC came along, sex had become infrequent and I was always the initiator. I gave up because I got tired of crying myself to sleep after my attempts to have sex were rejected. I never thought I'd be in my mid-30s and not be having any sex at all. I have told DH that it's not normal but it's not easy to talk about. I want another baby now and don't know what to do. It's depressing.

FWIW, I'm thin, HWP, attractive, and others seem to like me. I think I'm a good, intelligent person.

Ugh. I am in a terrifyingly similar situation. I, too, with all the things I worried about / problems I envisioned encountering in my life, never even considered being in my thirties and in a sexless marriage. It's mind-boggling to me. And it sucks because I don't feel like I can talk about it to many people in real life...I feel a definite shame (and anger, and sadness...) about it. FTR I too am thinking about wanting another baby in the near future and don't quite know what to do. In one way, is it wise to being another child into a problematic marriage? But in another, it's not like it's a high conflict marriage, and the truth is I don't think this is something I would end it over...things are pretty good otherwise, and I'm realistic. But damn it really does suck...

I'm not sure what HWP is, but I'm also thin / fit and attractive. And if I didn't bring it up (...not that bringing it up ever changes anything), we would literally just NEVER talk about it. Like it seems he wants to just pretend sex is not something that even exists

PP. I empathize with you and have had the same thoughts.

It kills me when my friends talk about how much sex they're having with their husbands. I've never divulged that I'm in a sexless marriage and just smile and play along.

It's worse when it's drilled into your mind that men think about and want to have sex all the time. Why, then, doesn't he want to do it with me? DH isn't the cheating type and doesn't work late. It doesn't compute.

HWP = height/weight proportionate. I didn't "let myself go" when I had a baby, either.

urban dictionary says HWP is really just a way to hide your weight. What give you more info, me telling you I'm 5"1' and 115# or HWP? Obviously the former.

I'm not hiding anything. 5'8" and 140.

Most of the women in my gym are “heavier” than that. Most are around the 5’2-5’7 range and can way up to 160, and they look good.

if it is muscle, they probably look awesome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

5’10 190 12% BF, usually carry around 10% during competition phases then a little more after. Muscle mostly, maintain weight because I compete at a certain weight class.

Anything more than 12 percent and I start to feel fat. I’ve had bouts of low drive but it’s usually related to anxiety disorder and depression. Medications actually made me worse.

Thanks! I'm imagining now, and I like it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't men start giving their stats?

6'1", 165#, 17% body fat.
8 inches.

We've had sex 10 times in 2017. I have tried to initiate sex 13 times and have been rejected 11 times. It has been six weeks since the last time we've had sex. On average, we have had sex once every 4 weeks.

I'm sorry. And clearly I need it some more because I'm getting agitated over here just thinking about it. And I've had sex wayyyyy more than 13 time this year (105).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a DW in the same situation, I will be following this thread with much interest.

I'm also a DW in a sexless marriage. Married 5 years and haven't had sex in 3. The last 2 times we did it, I got pregnant both times (one MC, one toddler). DH has a chronic health issue and acts tired and lazy all the time. Even before DC came along, sex had become infrequent and I was always the initiator. I gave up because I got tired of crying myself to sleep after my attempts to have sex were rejected. I never thought I'd be in my mid-30s and not be having any sex at all. I have told DH that it's not normal but it's not easy to talk about. I want another baby now and don't know what to do. It's depressing.

FWIW, I'm thin, HWP, attractive, and others seem to like me. I think I'm a good, intelligent person.

Call me, baby. I can help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a DW in the same situation, I will be following this thread with much interest.

I'm also a DW in a sexless marriage. Married 5 years and haven't had sex in 3. The last 2 times we did it, I got pregnant both times (one MC, one toddler). DH has a chronic health issue and acts tired and lazy all the time. Even before DC came along, sex had become infrequent and I was always the initiator. I gave up because I got tired of crying myself to sleep after my attempts to have sex were rejected. I never thought I'd be in my mid-30s and not be having any sex at all. I have told DH that it's not normal but it's not easy to talk about. I want another baby now and don't know what to do. It's depressing.

FWIW, I'm thin, HWP, attractive, and others seem to like me. I think I'm a good, intelligent person.

Ugh. I am in a terrifyingly similar situation. I, too, with all the things I worried about / problems I envisioned encountering in my life, never even considered being in my thirties and in a sexless marriage. It's mind-boggling to me. And it sucks because I don't feel like I can talk about it to many people in real life...I feel a definite shame (and anger, and sadness...) about it. FTR I too am thinking about wanting another baby in the near future and don't quite know what to do. In one way, is it wise to being another child into a problematic marriage? But in another, it's not like it's a high conflict marriage, and the truth is I don't think this is something I would end it over...things are pretty good otherwise, and I'm realistic. But damn it really does suck...

I'm not sure what HWP is, but I'm also thin / fit and attractive. And if I didn't bring it up (...not that bringing it up ever changes anything), we would literally just NEVER talk about it. Like it seems he wants to just pretend sex is not something that even exists

PP. I empathize with you and have had the same thoughts.

It kills me when my friends talk about how much sex they're having with their husbands. I've never divulged that I'm in a sexless marriage and just smile and play along.

It's worse when it's drilled into your mind that men think about and want to have sex all the time. Why, then, doesn't he want to do it with me? DH isn't the cheating type and doesn't work late. It doesn't compute.

HWP = height/weight proportionate. I didn't "let myself go" when I had a baby, either.

urban dictionary says HWP is really just a way to hide your weight. What give you more info, me telling you I'm 5"1' and 115# or HWP? Obviously the former.

I'm not hiding anything. 5'8" and 140.

Most of the women in my gym are “heavier” than that. Most are around the 5’2-5’7 range and can way up to 160, and they look good.

Can they spell weigh correctly?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She has put on a ton of weight and it's hard for me to get excited about having sex with her. We've talked about it a lot but she just doesn't seem to care. She will say I'm still the same person you married. Well in my eyes she isn't. Over time we all put on some pounds but she outweighs me. I'm not one to cheat but I'm nearing the end of my rope. My daughter leaves for college next year and I will probably follow her out the door.

How much weight are we talking in pounds and clothing size? From what to what?

She went from about 135 to 195. I have no idea about dress size.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because she rarely wants to have sex with me. If it can be fixed, she'll have to be part of the solution. Anything I've tried solely on my end has been ineffective.

You haven’t tried everything. Your wife has decided that sex isn’t important to her. Inform her it is to you. If she’s not interested, seek assistance outside the marriage. She doesn’t have to know. If she finds out, well then she should realize why you did what you did.

I have told my wife sex is important to me. That doesn't seem to matter to her.

Inform her you will be doing that “unimportant thing” with your new side piece.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because she rarely wants to have sex with me. If it can be fixed, she'll have to be part of the solution. Anything I've tried solely on my end has been ineffective.

You haven’t tried everything. Your wife has decided that sex isn’t important to her. Inform her it is to you. If she’s not interested, seek assistance outside the marriage. She doesn’t have to know. If she finds out, well then she should realize why you did what you did.

I have told my wife sex is important to me. That doesn't seem to matter to her.

Inform her you will be doing that “unimportant thing” with your new side piece.

I wouldn’t go nuclear option yet. Try counseling to see if you can find out why. If that doesn’t work, then inform her since she’s not interested you’re going to find someone who is. In order to “save” the marriage she’ll throw a session here and there that way she’ll be able to say “but we were having sex” and take away the blame. Don’t accept them, especially if it’s stsrfish sex. Anything less then her being an enthusiastic participant won’t do, trust me. If she throws out a piece once every couple of weeks and she’s responsive as a dead animal, you’re going to feel like crap. And sorry, no amount of massage pills or other foreplay activities will change that. She’ll probably not want to do them anyways.

It’s tough man, I’ve been there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because she rarely wants to have sex with me. If it can be fixed, she'll have to be part of the solution. Anything I've tried solely on my end has been ineffective.

You haven’t tried everything. Your wife has decided that sex isn’t important to her. Inform her it is to you. If she’s not interested, seek assistance outside the marriage. She doesn’t have to know. If she finds out, well then she should realize why you did what you did.

I have told my wife sex is important to me. That doesn't seem to matter to her.

Inform her you will be doing that “unimportant thing” with your new side piece.

I wouldn’t go nuclear option yet. Try counseling to see if you can find out why. If that doesn’t work, then inform her since she’s not interested you’re going to find someone who is. In order to “save” the marriage she’ll throw a session here and there that way she’ll be able to say “but we were having sex” and take away the blame. Don’t accept them, especially if it’s stsrfish sex. Anything less then her being an enthusiastic participant won’t do, trust me. If she throws out a piece once every couple of weeks and she’s responsive as a dead animal, you’re going to feel like crap. And sorry, no amount of massage pills or other foreplay activities will change that. She’ll probably not want to do them anyways.

It’s tough man, I’ve been there.

Oils not pills.

[Anonymous]

6'1" 180 pounds with abs
After years without sex, maybe once every other month. I told DW I was leaving. I tried everything before that, and if I brought up that I wanted sex it would turn into an argument. One time we were cuddling and I got an erection she said it was disgusting. It got to the point I was embarrassed if she saw me naked because of the way she would look at me. I started getting dress in the closet or another room so she wouldn't have to see me.

Finally I said enough and I was going to leave. This of course started a fight. When she realized I was not bluffing she decided to work on our relationship and things have been good for the past 5 years