Accepted at a top private but now prefer to homeschool

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:08/27 15:53 seems to be responding to parents who would not be good at teaching their kids. As someone who believes he could be quite good at teaching his kids, I find 08/27 09:43 much more convincing, and that author perfectly articulates why I decided to supplement my kids' schooling instead of trying to school them myself.

FWIW, 9:43, 15:53, and 9:18 = the same poster responding to different questions.

[Anonymous]

What is a "math specialist"? I guess this explains why folk in fancy DC private schools supplement their $35,000 educational bill with tutors, Kumon, Kaplan, Score and ancillary prep enterprises. So much for your pre-K and K math specialists.

I'll stay with my "arrogant" engineer, PhD and MD homeschool math tutor. Thanks, but no thanks to your "math specialist".

[Anonymous]

Your claim was that most elementary teachers were PreK-8 generalists/education majors. My response was that that has not been my experience at a top local private.

Elementary school science (starting at PreK) has been taught by people who just teach science and whose degrees were in science. Math has been taught by people who just teach math and who have degrees in a variety of fields (architecture, math, botany, education).

One individual, no matter how smart, how tireless, or how gifted a teacher, has less to offer than the couple of dozen experienced and well-educated teachers your DC will learn from in a good school. And when you remember that that single person will still be in the mix (and able to focus on the things s/he knows and loves best) along with those dozens of teachers (and the scores of kids they share classrooms with), then, to me, it seems clear that the educational advantage is with the school.

YMMV.

[Anonymous]

12:36 ... your post is a bit nasty, probably because you feel under attack for your decision which is too bad. But if a little pushback from DCUM makes you react this way, I feel sorry for your home schooled kid if THAT doesn't go as smoothly as you hoped. I'm sure all will be fine for you but I myself am very greatful to work together with the teachers and specialists at our wonderful private school to fully educate my child.

[Anonymous]

Schools are our children's first communities. In school, kids rehearse for the day when they will be adult community members. Originally, universal public education was conceived as a training ground for citizenship.

Academically, particular home school situations will produce varying levels of academic training, from the national spelling bee winners to the kids who end up at Patrick Henry College-- kids whose parents wanted to shelter them from learning evolution and having gay friends-- to those with well-meaning but less talented teacher-parents who do okay.

But they don't get a rehearsal for full participation in a community. Mommy driving you to homeschoolers soccer is not that. They don't get independence, they don't get the incremental steps toward an adult experience, and their view of the world is only as broad as their parents choose.

For people who find society at large somewhat offensive-- whether religiously or due to violence or other reasons-- this is not a problem. If your own life is a drive out 66 to a gated community and not much interaction, maybe you don't think that your child needs a community setting to be successful in life.

Me, I'm a city dweller for whom life is with people. Preparing my kid for success doesn't just mean SATS and going to my Ivy alma mater. It means the character you build when you kiss mom goodbye and go deal with other people, not as the favorite person in the room but as one of many equals. It means that you can co-exist with and learn from people who are not like you. It means that your world is a bit bigger and you're comfortable in it. And it means that you have a sense that you owe something to the group of people around you-- school, city, workplace, country-- and know how to provide it.

Home school doesn't do that, and can't.

[Anonymous]

To the contrary, my child is a Davisdon Young Scholar attending a local public school. I do not believe your theory that the school makes the child. And if you go to a private school with all the resources (math and science specialists from pre- K on up) your educational problems are solved. I do believe the educational foundation begins at home with supportive and caring .parental mentorship. The train has already left the station by the end of middle school. Educated parents and a home environment that fosters reading widely, debate, numbers and play can certainly provide a solid elementary school foundation. Private schools are not the answer for all children. Homeschooling in elementary school is a viable and successfully gratifying option for some families. It does not require a "bricks and mortar" private school with bells and whistles ( your "math and science specialists"). Many of this children go on represent the US in math, physics and writing competitions, athletics, music, Intel and Siemen prize winners, National Merit Semi-Finalists among other accomplishments.

I again pose the question: why, if you go to a fancy DC public school with all the resources (math and science specialists as you convincingly and elegantly elaborate) do you find the need for outside academic tutors, Kumon, Sylvian Score, Kaplan and the like? Why do you denigrate the decision and choice of parents who prefer to provide educational mentorship, guidance and homeschooling for their elementary school children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do you denigrate the decision and choice of parents who prefer to provide educational mentorship, guidance and homeschooling for their elementary school children?

NP here. I don't think it's quite fair to accuse PPs of "denigrating" home-school parents. Most of those PPs have given detailed and thoughtful reasons why they disagree with that approach. I don't consider constructive criticism to be denigrating.

And you seem to ask why they are posting such constructive criticism (or perhaps your question was rhetorical): I think they're posting these thoughts because OP opened and encouraged a pretty good discussion about the relative pro/con considerations of home-schooling vs. private school.

[Anonymous]

I apologise for offending any posters. This was not my intention. Simply to present the case for some families who choose, and are more than capable, to homeschool for elementary education without any adverse developmental consequences...but significant gains!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I again pose the question: why, if you go to a fancy DC public school with all the resources (math and science specialists as you convincingly and elegantly elaborate) do you find the need for outside academic tutors, Kumon, Sylvian Score, Kaplan and the like?

I think you are misinterpreting PP's prior reference to "specialists." PP already tried to clear up any confusion at 13:09 (quoted below).

PP@13:09 wrote:Your claim was that most elementary teachers were PreK-8 generalists/education majors. My response was that that has not been my experience at a top local private. Elementary school science (starting at PreK) has been taught by people who just teach science and whose degrees were in science. Math has been taught by people who just teach math and who have degrees in a variety of fields (architecture, math, botany, education).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To the contrary, my child is a Davisdon Young Scholar attending a local public school. I do not believe your theory that the school makes the child. And if you go to a private school with all the resources (math and science specialists from pre- K on up) your educational problems are solved. I do believe the educational foundation begins at home with supportive and caring .parental mentorship. The train has already left the station by the end of middle school. Educated parents and a home environment that fosters reading widely, debate, numbers and play can certainly provide a solid elementary school foundation. Private schools are not the answer for all children. Homeschooling in elementary school is a viable and successfully gratifying option for some families. It does not require a "bricks and mortar" private school with bells and whistles ( your "math and science specialists"). Many of this children go on represent the US in math, physics and writing competitions, athletics, music, Intel and Siemen prize winners, National Merit Semi-Finalists among other accomplishments.

I again pose the question: why, if you go to a fancy DC public school with all the resources (math and science specialists as you convincingly and elegantly elaborate) do you find the need for outside academic tutors, Kumon, Sylvian Score, Kaplan and the like? Why do you denigrate the decision and choice of parents who prefer to provide educational mentorship, guidance and homeschooling for their elementary school children?

My question is - if you are interested in homeschooling, what are you doing on the private schools section of this board posting thoughts? Are you just trying to stir up stuff? Obviously, the parents on this forum that are dropping $30k+ per year to send their kids to top private schools are likely not going to actively embrace the idea of homeschooling.

I for one know very little about homeschooling - but it has always seemed like its chosen by parents who want to shelter and overprotect their kids. I wonder what the studies show of kids who were homeschooled/sheltered and then go off to regular 4 year universities? I'd be willing to bet some of them show up on episodes of "Girls Gone Wild".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To the contrary, my child is a Davisdon Young Scholar attending a local public school. I do not believe your theory that the school makes the child. And if you go to a private school with all the resources (math and science specialists from pre- K on up) your educational problems are solved. I do believe the educational foundation begins at home with supportive and caring .parental mentorship. The train has already left the station by the end of middle school. Educated parents and a home environment that fosters reading widely, debate, numbers and play can certainly provide a solid elementary school foundation. Private schools are not the answer for all children. Homeschooling in elementary school is a viable and successfully gratifying option for some families. It does not require a "bricks and mortar" private school with bells and whistles ( your "math and science specialists"). Many of this children go on represent the US in math, physics and writing competitions, athletics, music, Intel and Siemen prize winners, National Merit Semi-Finalists among other accomplishments.

I again pose the question: why, if you go to a fancy DC public school with all the resources (math and science specialists as you convincingly and elegantly elaborate) do you find the need for outside academic tutors, Kumon, Sylvian Score, Kaplan and the like? Why do you denigrate the decision and choice of parents who prefer to provide educational mentorship, guidance and homeschooling for their elementary school children?

I didn't previously answer the question because it didn't seem relevant. In seven years of private schooling, my kid hasn't had the need for tutors, Kumon, etc. I assume that parents who do turn to such resources for their children (who could be publicly, privately, or home- schooled) do so because their kid needs more one-on-one assistance with some subject and the parent's help hasn't been sufficient or effective. How would that be an argument *for* home-schooling? (And, in fact, it seems to function as something of a rebuttal to your suggestion that private school parents assume that the right school will meet all their kid's educational needs.)

It's just not the case that "many" home-schooled children become Intel Science prize-winners. There was one home-schooled kid among last years' 300 semifinalists. He placed 3rd and sounds like an amazing kid. But I have no reason to believe he wouldn't have been an equally amazing kid had he gone to school.

And, of course, kids who go to school have homes. It's not as if my DC doesn't get to read, talk, play games, visit historical sites and foreign countries, do science experiments, etc. with her parents on a regular basis just because she goes to school.

I'm not saying private school's for everyone (or that the only good or the best schools are private schools). I am saying that if the choice is between a top local private school and homeschooling (which was OP's scenario), then I'd go for private school on educational grounds. (I haven't touched on the socialization issue, but others have.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I for one know very little about homeschooling - but it has always seemed like its chosen by parents who want to shelter and overprotect their kids.

Of course a lot of people would say that about private and parochial schools!!

[Anonymous]

I respect your choice of a private school sans outside tutoring. Your child/family is an outlier and in the minority.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I for one know very little about homeschooling - but it has always seemed like its chosen by parents who want to shelter and overprotect their kids.

Of course a lot of people would say that about private and parochial schools!!

I don't think that many parents choose top independent schools for that reason. It's probably more true for smaller, religiously-affiliated schools.

[Anonymous]

Ditto. Same is true for parents who choose to homeschool in preK and elementary school.