would you date someone who does this for a living?

[Anonymous]

I think that how he makes his living, is less important than whether he is self sufficient or has a plan to be self sufficient and it doesn't sound like he does.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely not. I wouldn't take a guy who's a hoarder. I wouldn't date a guy who lives with his mom (past age 22/college).

[Anonymous]

How have you known him three months but you just found out this weekend about his "job"? That's usually discussed pretty early on.

[Anonymous]

So many deal breakers here... The "job", the lack of initiative (really, can't drive? Can't imagine that with kids who need to be driven to places, not to mention what if there is an emergency?), living with mom, not paying rent, mom doing laundry, hoarding... This relationship does not sound like a partnership - he is probably looking for another mom to take care of him for the rest of his life. I would run, fast.

[Anonymous]

No of course not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was the first poster, but how old are you OP? Are you even in what you bring to the relationship or are you much further ahead? Either way still no, but you seem like you like him. Are you worried about scarcity? Do you have low self esteem?

I'm 28. I'm working on my master's degree. He seemed nice at first. I didn't know about the details I've posted til just this weekend. I don't like what I've learned. I'm trying not to be judgemental but I don't like how he makes his living and I can't figure out if I'm being snobby or what.

You are definitely not being snobby or judgmental. You are doing everything right with getting your masters and presumably a good job to follow. At your age, you should be dating someone in a similar position (at least with a sound income), who is managing their life responsibly, and is not relying on their mother to subsidize their life.

How do you feel about the prospect of you and him moving in together and him filling your house with his garage sale crap while it sits and sits because no one wants to buy it? Or when he has no money to contribute to the mortgage or bills, because he's always had someone else to pay? He will replace his mother with you. He will not change. He will not progress his life. He honestly sounds like one of those people you see on MTV True Life or some TLC special and the rest of the world just marvels at the peculiarity of his life and also at whomever he baits into becoming his significant other.

Cut and run.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was the first poster, but how old are you OP? Are you even in what you bring to the relationship or are you much further ahead? Either way still no, but you seem like you like him. Are you worried about scarcity? Do you have low self esteem?

I'm 28. I'm working on my master's degree. He seemed nice at first. I didn't know about the details I've posted til just this weekend. I don't like what I've learned. I'm trying not to be judgemental but I don't like how he makes his living and I can't figure out if I'm being snobby or what.

You are definitely not being snobby or judgmental. You are doing everything right with getting your masters and presumably a good job to follow. At your age, you should be dating someone in a similar position (at least with a sound income), who is managing their life responsibly, and is not relying on their mother to subsidize their life.

How do you feel about the prospect of you and him moving in together and him filling your house with his garage sale crap while it sits and sits because no one wants to buy it? Or when he has no money to contribute to the mortgage or bills, because he's always had someone else to pay? He will replace his mother with you. He will not change. He will not progress his life. He honestly sounds like one of those people you see on MTV True Life or some TLC special and the rest of the world just marvels at the peculiarity of his life and also at whomever he baits into becoming his significant other.

Cut and run.

Back to add: If he doesn't drive, does he expect that you'll start transporting him to these garage sales? Does he want you to become his "co-worker" in all this? I bet he's going to eventually tell you he also occasionally dumpster dives for things to sell.

[Anonymous]

No, I probably wouldn't unless he made a lot at it. I also wouldn't date somebody who couldn't drive.

[Anonymous]

OP, you know the answer or else you wouldn't be posting here.

[Anonymous]

I couldn't even see myself having sex with him much less committing to marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was the first poster, but how old are you OP? Are you even in what you bring to the relationship or are you much further ahead? Either way still no, but you seem like you like him. Are you worried about scarcity? Do you have low self esteem?

I'm 28. I'm working on my master's degree. He seemed nice at first. I didn't know about the details I've posted til just this weekend. I don't like what I've learned. I'm trying not to be judgemental but I don't like how he makes his living and I can't figure out if I'm being snobby or what.

You're not being snobby. I was a little intrigued by the guy I met online and it didn't matter to me that he had an unconventional career. Ten years later I'm stuck with someone with no initiative and lots of excuses. I wish I had expected more from myself.

[Anonymous]

I might have considered it until you said he still lives with his mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would you date a guy who makes his living by going to garage sales and then reselling the stuff on ebay? That's all he does. He sells comic book/action figure type stuff. He is 30 and lives with his mom. Their house is filled with all the crap he buys to resell.

The selling isn't the part that would worry me. It's the house full of crap. Sounds like a nascent hoarder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was the first poster, but how old are you OP? Are you even in what you bring to the relationship or are you much further ahead? Either way still no, but you seem like you like him. Are you worried about scarcity? Do you have low self esteem?

I'm 28. I'm working on my master's degree. He seemed nice at first. I didn't know about the details I've posted til just this weekend. I don't like what I've learned. I'm trying not to be judgemental but I don't like how he makes his living and I can't figure out if I'm being snobby or what.

You know, it doesn't matter if you're being a snob. You know what you need in a partner. And if you're a snob (and I don't think you are), so be it. You're not compatible.

[Anonymous]

Does his mother have a disability and he's her caretaker? If so, maybe I would.

I sell stuff (music, mostly) online, but I also have a FT day job.