When did you first take your daughter to the gynecologist?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom was a pediatrician. She never took me to the gynecologist or talked to me about my period. She put some pamphlets on my bed and later said "You didn't have any questions, did you?" I didn't tell her when my period started but I took her tampons. She left me a note in the drawer that said "Buy your own, cheapskate."

I did see another doctor for check ups and I don't recall him asking me anything about my periods or doing any kind of exam. I did finally get myself to Planned Parenthood when I started having sex at 15, but they focused on the sex part. I had one physician there express disappointment in me because she worked with my dad (he was also a doctor). A few years later when I had no boyfriend and I went off the pill it never occurred to me that a gynecologist might be able to help me with my overwhelmingly heavy periods and cramping. I did work up the courage to mention it to my mom and of course she had no advice. I saw a doctor for a physical and she told me it was "common to be uncomfortable" when you had your period, nevermind that I was often bed bound. I think I finally started going regularly in grad school at 26 when the physician assistant I saw referred me to an actual gynecologist.

My mom, the pediatrician, did nothing to teach me about my period or connect me with anyone who could. It makes me sad to learn that other parents are like this, too. I thought my mom was just a b*tch.

This made me teary. Your mom WAS a bitch. I'm sorry; I want to give you a hug and a talk about your body.

A child should not have to buy their own tampons. Your mom really shut down conversation. My DD is 14 and a half. I've given her talks a couple/few times a year about her body, about relationships, about health, etc. They've changed as she's gotten older. I will take her to a gyn when I think she's about to get physical with a boy or right before she goes off to college. For now, she doesn't need one. She's told me enough about her body that I know everything happening is normal. She asks enough questions that I know she's comfortable bringing issues to my attention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My GYN said to start visits when they become sexually active or when they turn 21, whichever comes first. Unless there is a problem, of course. Until then, a family practice doctor (or ped) is fine. One of my girls was sexually active at 17 and the other was a virgin at 21. Just depends on the kid.

That is alarming to me that a woman could potentially be menstruating for 11 or so years before visiting a gynecologist! Sure, some pediatricians are decent at whole-picture stuff, but that's not a certainty by any means! I have a son, but I'd say 16 unless a concern crops up.

Why is it alarming? Mine started menstruating at 10, and I have no plans to take her before 21 unless there's a problem.

Because maturing young women might have health concerns that they want guidance about, and they deserve to have the opportunity to dialogue with a professional and not just their parents (or god forbid, their friends). I view it as a parental responsibility to give your kids the opportunity to have these learning experiences so they can obtain knowledge and decide what to do with it. It's like giving the tools to prepare them for college. You don't just say "Hey, fill out the applications" the summer before Junior year; you give them resources and their school provides them with counselors to professionalize the exploration of their next few years. At least that's how it's supposed to work!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My GYN said to start visits when they become sexually active or when they turn 21, whichever comes first. Unless there is a problem, of course. Until then, a family practice doctor (or ped) is fine. One of my girls was sexually active at 17 and the other was a virgin at 21. Just depends on the kid.

That is alarming to me that a woman could potentially be menstruating for 11 or so years before visiting a gynecologist! Sure, some pediatricians are decent at whole-picture stuff, but that's not a certainty by any means! I have a son, but I'd say 16 unless a concern crops up.

Why is it alarming? Mine started menstruating at 10, and I have no plans to take her before 21 unless there's a problem.

Because maturing young women might have health concerns that they want guidance about, and they deserve to have the opportunity to dialogue with a professional and not just their parents (or god forbid, their friends). I view it as a parental responsibility to give your kids the opportunity to have these learning experiences so they can obtain knowledge and decide what to do with it. It's like giving the tools to prepare them for college. You don't just say "Hey, fill out the applications" the summer before Junior year; you give them resources and their school provides them with counselors to professionalize the exploration of their next few years. At least that's how it's supposed to work!

She sees her pediatrician regularly. I'm out of the room for more than half of the appointment. We've had a chat about birth control. I've encouraged her to discuss it with the doctor, and explained what is said between her and the ped is private. It's not like a gyn is the only kind of doctor that can address her concerns. She's been seeing the same doctor since birth, so they have a rapport.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did your mother take YOU to the gynecologist? Mine did not.

Mine didn't take me either and I suffered severe monthly cramps and vomiting. Took myself when I was 18, got on birth control and was able to start living life. Woukd have been nice to avoid 8 years of being so sick every month. Period started when I was 10.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
That is alarming to me that a woman could potentially be menstruating for 11 or so years before visiting a gynecologist! Sure, some pediatricians are decent at whole-picture stuff, but that's not a certainty by any means! I have a son, but I'd say 16 unless a concern crops up.

If a girl is having regular periods and not complaining of any problems, what would the gynecologist be looking for or doing differently than a pediatrician?

-An interested pediatrician, just asking

[Anonymous]

PP. There are rotten OB-gyne doctors and rotten pediatricians. There are rotten moms, too. Sometimes they overlap. Regardless, it's a shame.

Pediatrician training includes adolescent medicine. The OB-Gynes I work with prefer to have kids under 18 seen at our wing of the building if we have an established relationship, because they agree it is better overall care in the context of the whole girl. Of course, if there are problems we can't handle, my colleagues are happy to field a consult.

[Anonymous]

My mom never took me to the gynecologist. When I was 19 and was about to become sexually active, I went to one at the college student health center myself. It was fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
That is alarming to me that a woman could potentially be menstruating for 11 or so years before visiting a gynecologist! Sure, some pediatricians are decent at whole-picture stuff, but that's not a certainty by any means! I have a son, but I'd say 16 unless a concern crops up.

If a girl is having regular periods and not complaining of any problems, what would the gynecologist be looking for or doing differently than a pediatrician?

-An interested pediatrician, just asking

Both our pediatrician and my GYN said girls need to be seen at 21 or when they become sexually active. Whichever comes first. We followed that guidance for our girls. My older daughter is still a virgin ar 23. She saw the GYN at 21. My younger daughter was sexually active at 17. She saw the GYN before she had sex for the first time. She actually asked me to go with her. I thought that was pretty awesome. Our pediatrician did a great job talking to the kids about their bodies at every stage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
That is alarming to me that a woman could potentially be menstruating for 11 or so years before visiting a gynecologist! Sure, some pediatricians are decent at whole-picture stuff, but that's not a certainty by any means! I have a son, but I'd say 16 unless a concern crops up.

If a girl is having regular periods and not complaining of any problems, what would the gynecologist be looking for or doing differently than a pediatrician?

-An interested pediatrician, just asking

Both our pediatrician and my GYN said girls need to be seen at 21 or when they become sexually active. Whichever comes first. We followed that guidance for our girls. My older daughter is still a virgin ar 23. She saw the GYN at 21. My younger daughter was sexually active at 17. She saw the GYN before she had sex for the first time. She actually asked me to go with her. I thought that was pretty awesome. Our pediatrician did a great job talking to the kids about their bodies at every stage.

That's great. Good pediatricians do that. Insist on getting a good one, or a good FP.

If you don't have those options, I can see a role for OB-Gynes with adolescent girls. Sure. I just can't see being horrified at not having an OB-Gyne involved so early, especially when the national guidelines don't recommend full pelvic exams for teenagers without problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My GYN said to start visits when they become sexually active or when they turn 21, whichever comes first. Unless there is a problem, of course. Until then, a family practice doctor (or ped) is fine. One of my girls was sexually active at 17 and the other was a virgin at 21. Just depends on the kid.

That is alarming to me that a woman could potentially be menstruating for 11 or so years before visiting a gynecologist! Sure, some pediatricians are decent at whole-picture stuff, but that's not a certainty by any means! I have a son, but I'd say 16 unless a concern crops up.

Why is it alarming? Mine started menstruating at 10, and I have no plans to take her before 21 unless there's a problem.

What did you daughter weigh at 10?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
That is alarming to me that a woman could potentially be menstruating for 11 or so years before visiting a gynecologist! Sure, some pediatricians are decent at whole-picture stuff, but that's not a certainty by any means! I have a son, but I'd say 16 unless a concern crops up.

If a girl is having regular periods and not complaining of any problems, what would the gynecologist be looking for or doing differently than a pediatrician

-An interested pediatrician, just asking

Both our pediatrician and my GYN said girls need to be seen at 21 or when they become sexually active. Whichever comes first. We followed that guidance for our girls. My older daughter is still a virgin ar 23. She saw the GYN at 21. My younger daughter was sexually active at 17. She saw the GYN before she had sex for the first time. She actually asked me to go with her. I thought that was pretty awesome. Our pediatrician did a great job talking to the kids about their bodies at every stage.

You didn't answer what the gyne would be looking for do do differently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom never took me to the gynecologist. When I was 19 and was about to become sexually active, I went to one at the college student health center myself. It was fine.

Same here. My mom had a creepy gyn who I went to once when I was older - glad I hadn't seen him when I was a teen. Blech. And what pearls of wisdom about my period was some creepy middle aged man going to give me?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom was a pediatrician. She never took me to the gynecologist or talked to me about my period. She put some pamphlets on my bed and later said "You didn't have any questions, did you?" I didn't tell her when my period started but I took her tampons. She left me a note in the drawer that said "Buy your own, cheapskate."

I did see another doctor for check ups and I don't recall him asking me anything about my periods or doing any kind of exam. I did finally get myself to Planned Parenthood when I started having sex at 15, but they focused on the sex part. I had one physician there express disappointment in me because she worked with my dad (he was also a doctor). A few years later when I had no boyfriend and I went off the pill it never occurred to me that a gynecologist might be able to help me with my overwhelmingly heavy periods and cramping. I did work up the courage to mention it to my mom and of course she had no advice. I saw a doctor for a physical and she told me it was "common to be uncomfortable" when you had your period, nevermind that I was often bed bound. I think I finally started going regularly in grad school at 26 when the physician assistant I saw referred me to an actual gynecologist.

My mom, the pediatrician, did nothing to teach me about my period or connect me with anyone who could. It makes me sad to learn that other parents are like this, too. I thought my mom was just a b*tch.

This made me teary. Your mom WAS a bitch. I'm sorry; I want to give you a hug and a talk about your body.

A child should not have to buy their own tampons. Your mom really shut down conversation. My DD is 14 and a half. I've given her talks a couple/few times a year about her body, about relationships, about health, etc. They've changed as she's gotten older. I will take her to a gyn when I think she's about to get physical with a boy or right before she goes off to college. For now, she doesn't need one. She's told me enough about her body that I know everything happening is normal. She asks enough questions that I know she's comfortable bringing issues to my attention.

If I was all up in my DD's business like this she would literally murder me and move out. I bought her a book.
If she wants to go to any kind of doctor I will take her and she knows this.

Sometimes it can be nice to 'graduate' from the pediatrician to a young adult doctor, that can help.

PP - you seem to have serious issues to work through.

[Anonymous]

I took my 14 yr old a couple of weeks ago because she had a cyst rupture during an abdominal ultrasound. The gynecologist told us that unless you're sexually active or you have a medical problem that requires it, they do not do pelvic exams until you are 21. I was surprised, because I thought 18 was when they started doing them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom was a pediatrician. She never took me to the gynecologist or talked to me about my period. She put some pamphlets on my bed and later said "You didn't have any questions, did you?" I didn't tell her when my period started but I took her tampons. She left me a note in the drawer that said "Buy your own, cheapskate."

I did see another doctor for check ups and I don't recall him asking me anything about my periods or doing any kind of exam. I did finally get myself to Planned Parenthood when I started having sex at 15, but they focused on the sex part. I had one physician there express disappointment in me because she worked with my dad (he was also a doctor). A few years later when I had no boyfriend and I went off the pill it never occurred to me that a gynecologist might be able to help me with my overwhelmingly heavy periods and cramping. I did work up the courage to mention it to my mom and of course she had no advice. I saw a doctor for a physical and she told me it was "common to be uncomfortable" when you had your period, nevermind that I was often bed bound. I think I finally started going regularly in grad school at 26 when the physician assistant I saw referred me to an actual gynecologist.

My mom, the pediatrician, did nothing to teach me about my period or connect me with anyone who could. It makes me sad to learn that other parents are like this, too. I thought my mom was just a b*tch.

Damn. Have definitely heard that doctors are bad about taking care of their own health and discount family health problems -- probably bc they see so much awful stuff that anything their kid complains about gets written off as minor. But damn this is next level. Sorry you had to go thru it.