"You're a wonderful mother"

[Anonymous]

The best compliment I've gotten so far has been from my dad. He was watching me do bedtime with my 11 month old and he told me what a wonderful mother I am. He's not usually one to dole out compliments, so it really meant a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I frankly find that comment condescending.

I do, too. It is my responsibility to be a good mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It depends on the context of the comment.

Sometimes people say things as a conversation starter (that shirt is a great color on you, where do you shop?) Or small talk.

Sometimes mundane things get big praises from others (kissing your child's stubbed toe), but those compliments are disinginuine to me bc who wouldn't kiss/comfort their hurt child?

I suppose it could feel like an empty platitude, and I agree it depends on context. It means a lot coming from my parents. They will say that they can see that our child is happy and loved, and that it is clear that we are doing a good job raising her. I also got the compliment once from a stranger who lived in our general neighborhood. He stopped me one morning and said that he saw me walking to the bus stop with my child every day for work when he was walking to his car, and that he could tell from our interactions that "I was doing alright."

[Anonymous]

I think it has value coming from someone who knows you well and sees you parenting. I think it has no value when written as a comment on a discussion board or said to a stranger. Anytime I see someone write "you are a great mom" written online, I realize people use this in meaningless ways.

I think it can also lead to a false sense of expectation. If you get told this by family then people worry they won't be seen that way anymore if they make mistakes...which everyone does!