My boyfriend read my journal

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

taketothebank wrote:+1. Please tell us in detail.

And everyone who thinks this is awful please make sure to keep that POV when we read about a DW hacking her DH's phone, password, etc. to see if DH has an SO. Or vice versa,

Getting into a DH/W phone/email to uncover infidelity is completely different than a boyfriend reading a journal for the hell of it.

You don't know his motive, now do you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Instead of complaining about him why not just catch a flight back to the U.S. Show some backbone and move on.

I have nowhere to go once I get there.

Time to figure that out and get to work on it. That's not a reason to stay. You must have family/friends somewhere else.. Contact them, start looking for work and someone who will let you stay with them until you can improve your situation.

Now, back to the journal. Was it "should I dump my BF because he's bad in bed" type thoughts or "what am I doing with my life and should I join the peace corps" type stuff?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Instead of complaining about him why not just catch a flight back to the U.S. Show some backbone and move on.

I have nowhere to go once I get there.

And this is why you didn't feel comfortable letting him see you were upset?

Look, the only advice here is that you're you need to find a way to leave, as soon as possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:write this in your journal and leave it open

Ha ha. Yes! Just do it.

[Anonymous]

hello, everyone is suggesting for you to break up with him. I suspect that you had already thought about this option before you posted this, right? You must have your reasons not to break up with him despite the misery you are experiencing. Do you still love him? It sounds like you may need to establish more boundary with him, regarding the diary issue. Help him to understand that you need privacy and respect. Commitment and setting proper boundaries is like two side of the coin in a serious relationship and I hope you find the balane. I truly pray that things work out with him if you think he is still worth it to stick around with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

taketothebank wrote:+1. Please tell us in detail.

And everyone who thinks this is awful please make sure to keep that POV when we read about a DW hacking her DH's phone, password, etc. to see if DH has an SO. Or vice versa,

Getting into a DH/W phone/email to uncover infidelity is completely different than a boyfriend reading a journal for the hell of it.

How do we know he didn't suspect infidelity when he decided to read it?

[Anonymous]

I think you know that you need to leave him. Call a friend or family to help you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:hello, everyone is suggesting for you to break up with him. I suspect that you had already thought about this option before you posted this, right? You must have your reasons not to break up with him despite the misery you are experiencing. Do you still love him? It sounds like you may need to establish more boundary with him, regarding the diary issue. Help him to understand that you need privacy and respect. Commitment and setting proper boundaries is like two side of the coin in a serious relationship and I hope you find the balane. I truly pray that things work out with him if you think he is still worth it to stick around with.

No, no, no, no, no. Do not stay with this guy. You cannot fix him. Get out.

[Anonymous]

taketothebank wrote:+1. Please tell us in detail.

And everyone who thinks this is awful please make sure to keep that POV when we read about a DW hacking her DH's phone, password, etc. to see if DH has an SO. Or vice versa,

I am totally consistent. I think it is wrong to snoop. Two wrongs don't make a right. The fact that you used bad methods to uncover cheating, however, doesn't mean that you have to ignore the cheating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

taketothebank wrote:+1. Please tell us in detail.

And everyone who thinks this is awful please make sure to keep that POV when we read about a DW hacking her DH's phone, password, etc. to see if DH has an SO. Or vice versa,

I am totally consistent. I think it is wrong to snoop. Two wrongs don't make a right. The fact that you used bad methods to uncover cheating, however, doesn't mean that you have to ignore the cheating.

If someone is cheating, they will try to hide it. Therefore, it is necessary to "snoop" in order to catch them. Confront them without evidence acquired through "snooping" and they'll just deny it and cover their tracks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

taketothebank wrote:+1. Please tell us in detail.

And everyone who thinks this is awful please make sure to keep that POV when we read about a DW hacking her DH's phone, password, etc. to see if DH has an SO. Or vice versa,

I am totally consistent. I think it is wrong to snoop. Two wrongs don't make a right. The fact that you used bad methods to uncover cheating, however, doesn't mean that you have to ignore the cheating.

If someone is cheating, they will try to hide it. Therefore, it is necessary to "snoop" in order to catch them. Confront them without evidence acquired through "snooping" and they'll just deny it and cover their tracks.

This. My dad drove my mom bat-shit crazy denying his many affairs. When I found (without snooping hard, just being smart) his texts to his mistress, it freed my mom from a prison of lies he tried to put her in and she had started to reinforce for herself.

[Anonymous]

I am curious. What was in your journal?

[Anonymous]

Your little journal problem is nothing compared to the rest. Your whole relationship is a shit show, your BF is a controlling asshole, you are stuck in another country with a controlling asshole, you have no confidence in your own ability to even have a minimally adult life on your own, and you think the answer to your problems might be on DCUM. All this adds up to a huge mess. The journal is the least of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I am staying with him in another country right now where he lives.

A friendly reminder that this forum is for DC area residents. You can view but please do not post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I am staying with him in another country right now where he lives.

A friendly reminder that this forum is for DC area residents. You can view but please do not post.

What? That's ridiculous! Unless your name is Jeff, shut up!