Just leave your SILs alone, really.

[Anonymous]

I like my SIL so much more than my brother. She is funny and creative and smart. My brother is smart, but he is also an arrogant asshole with an anger management problem. I have no idea what SIL sees in him. Woman is a saint for living with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So many threads lately about cold SILs, aloof SILs, selfish SILs, etc. Do you people not realize that *you don't have to be best friends with your SILs?* News flash: just because your husband has a sister, does not mean she's going to be a superclose sister with you.

All you have to do is be polite and cordial and get along reasonably well. And if you two can't manage that, disengage and just LEAVE HER ALONE.

It is really that simple.

Sometimes you can't just LEAVE HER ALONE. I'd be fine if I never saw my SIL again, but that's not an option, as I imagine it isn't for most of the people who post about their SILs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many threads lately about cold SILs, aloof SILs, selfish SILs, etc. Do you people not realize that *you don't have to be best friends with your SILs?* News flash: just because your husband has a sister, does not mean she's going to be a superclose sister with you.

All you have to do is be polite and cordial and get along reasonably well. And if you two can't manage that, disengage and just LEAVE HER ALONE.

It is really that simple.

Sometimes you can't just LEAVE HER ALONE. I'd be fine if I never saw my SIL again, but that's not an option, as I imagine it isn't for most of the people who post about their SILs.

I would be much happier if I never had to see her ever again. Same with her mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I like my SIL so much more than my brother. She is funny and creative and smart. My brother is smart, but he is also an arrogant asshole with an anger management problem. I have no idea what SIL sees in him. Woman is a saint for living with him.

Wow you sound like a kind and decent SIL - the kind that never has threads about here. LOL. Keep doing what you are doing, I am sure she appreciates you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many threads lately about cold SILs, aloof SILs, selfish SILs, etc. Do you people not realize that *you don't have to be best friends with your SILs?* News flash: just because your husband has a sister, does not mean she's going to be a superclose sister with you.

All you have to do is be polite and cordial and get along reasonably well. And if you two can't manage that, disengage and just LEAVE HER ALONE.

It is really that simple.

Sometimes you can't just LEAVE HER ALONE. I'd be fine if I never saw my SIL again, but that's not an option, as I imagine it isn't for most of the people who post about their SILs.

I don't think OP is looking to be best friends? Might be nice if some SILs were more civil and kind - but if they don't like themselves, a bad SIL is not going to like anyone else - especially a new woman in the family. Your SIL might be terribly insecure, among other things, OP - you might make her look bad. I have read this here before, and now, I believe it.

[Anonymous]

My SIL and I got along great until I got pregnant with the first grandchild . She went BSC tried to criticize me for not giving her parents the "ideal grandparent relationship" when my child was 3 weeks old, blamed me for my baby ending up in NICU, and tried to tell me how to parent . She even apologized and then told me the apology was a big fat lie.


So needless to say she is not in my life anymore . I guess I am keeping her from the "perfect aunt" experience. I am almost certain she blames me for splitting up the family, when if she would have treated me with respect and genuinely apologized none of this would have happened

[Anonymous]

Some SILs need to be warm and welcoming - not just when they need favors - not a lot to ask.

[Anonymous]

Not so simple when it is your SIL not leaving you alone. Crazy bitch is competitive as hell. We married brothers, so we're both "outsiders" so to speak. She's had a target on my back almost since the day I showed up. Taking the high road, which I did, did not work since apparently DH's family is a bunch of gullible, easily manipulated idiots who fell for her constant lies she came up with out of thin air.

Be glad this crazy bitch is not in your family.

[Anonymous]

We successfully disengaged from DHs toxic sister. It took years and him overhearing her lying about me to another relative at a family function. He didn't confront her (that pissed me off) but he stoped calling her and I just stayed out of it and did'nt encourage contact. It is so sad because she has two kids we adore and that love our kids. She was so nasty and competitive from the monument I met her. It has been such a relief not to see her. When we do have family get togethers she acts like a whipped puppy and keeps her distance. Of course MIL and FIL tried to rectify the situation but DH told them while he loves his sister, unless she changes her ways towards his wife, there will not be a relationship. She knows this and chooses to play the victim. MIL was very cold to me for some time but has gotten over it and I think sees what her DD is all about.

[Anonymous]

My SIL story: My brother married a serious bitch. She divorced him after 20 years or so, but kept harassing him with legal action etc even after the divorce. Even sued her own lawyer.

All that bitchiness had a price, and in her early 40's she burst an aneurysm, I suspect in a rage about one thing or another. That was the end of her.

I adore my new SIL. A wonderful woman.

[Anonymous]

When my grandma passed away, my SIL started rummaging through my grandma's closet taking what she wanted. It pissed me off. My SIL is overbearing and spoiled. She expects my parents to roll out the red carpet for her and they do it. Meanwhile, I get brushed aside and treated like garbage by my own parents. It's embarrassing and degrading. I'm tired of it. For some reason, my SIL is allowed to prance around doing whatever the hell she wants.

[Anonymous]

BUMP for all the ridiculous SIL threads of late.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also recognize your SIL loved your DH first. Try to understand her and respect that relationship but agree, you don't have to be best friends.

Difficult sister in laws usually started out as difficult sisters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So many threads lately about cold SILs, aloof SILs, selfish SILs, etc. Do you people not realize that *you don't have to be best friends with your SILs?* News flash: just because your husband has a sister, does not mean she's going to be a superclose sister with you.

All you have to do is be polite and cordial and get along reasonably well. And if you two can't manage that, disengage and just LEAVE HER ALONE.

It is really that simple.

Couldn't agree more, Op. But reading some of these comments that message is not sinking in...geesh...poor sil's.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jesus OP, why do you even care? Maybe some of us had really good, close relationships with our brothers before the SIL came into the picture, and we're mourning those relationships because her aloofness and disinterest in being part of our family means we've lost that closeness. And maybe we're also mourning not being close with their kids, or our kids not being close with their cousins? All of which we are allowed to feel, btw. Just as we might regret losing a friend who got married and essentially disappeared from our lives. Yes, there is nothing we can do about it, and disengaging is ultimately the answer. But it can still be frustrating. And venting here on an anonymous board is a hell of a lot healthier than keeping those feelings bottled up, or God forbid, letting them loose on our brothers or SILs.

Here's a crazy thought. If YOU are so bothered by these types of threads, don't read them.

Did you ever stop to think the reason you're not close with your brother is oh I don't know...your brother?

Exactly- give your brother some responsibility for your relationship with HIM and HIS children.