Wait until Spouse has job to initiate divorce?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Everyone on this board advocating that the SAHM is providing equal services in a marriage...LOL. I mean it sounds like this dad is doing the exact thing many of the moms here do, a) no job for 5-10 years CHECK, b) no ambitions outside the home after babies are born CHECK, c) No gainful income CHECK, and d) slaving over all the kids when really their children are in school and daycare for 4-6 hours a day CHECK.

So tell me...what's different here?

Beautiful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let this be a warning to you men thinking about marriage: 1) women file for divorce when the money runs out, and 2) even if you (the man) are the primary caregiver your wife is still going to sue for full custody.

Here's hoping that OP's DH has some extra cash squirreled away so he can hire a good lawyer.

Women file for divorce when men don't have a job. Male unemployment is the number 1 predictor of divorce. Women don't like to be married to unemployed men. Is this honestly shocking to you?

And yet it's expected that men are supposed to devote their lives and finances to unemployed women?

Lol what?!?! Who said that?

Everyone on this board advocating that the SAHM is providing equal services in a marriage...LOL. I mean it sounds like this dad is doing the exact thing many of the moms here do, a) no job for 5-10 years CHECK, b) no ambitions outside the home after babies are born CHECK, c) No gainful income CHECK, and d) slaving over all the kids when really their children are in school and daycare for 4-6 hours a day CHECK.

So tell me...what's different here?

The reality is that most women are not feminists. They believe that men should be the providers and they mostly do not respect men who are unable, to unwilling, to do so.

The reality is most women are feminists when it suits them to be.

No kidding! I have always loved the faux feminists "woman have an inalienable right to not work!"

[Anonymous]

OP here - I don't really give a sh*t about what other people work out in their relationships about working / not working if it "works" for them as a family - feminist or not. In my situation, DH not working for 6 years was never the game plan and I never agreed to it for this length of time. It's not "the" issue in our relationship but it is certainly a factor.

[Anonymous]

There is a term among catholics called "cafeteria catholics." I'm not sure if there is a similar term among feminists who are feminists of convenience.

I see OP has responded. And, in fairness, I wouldn't want to be with someone who hasn't worked for 6 years. Other posters are just pointing out that women routinely do this and don't re-enter the workforce long after the kids are in school all day.

[Anonymous]

I hope he runs you through the wringer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does your DH stay home with the kids?

Kids are in school and full time day care. He does take the older one to aftercare activities.

That is a yes he takes care of the kids while you work.

Incorrect. Full time daycare means he's not a childcare provider. Talk to your work to take leave without pay / sabatical or leave the work force temporarily.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does your DH stay home with the kids?

Kids are in school and full time day care. He does take the older one to aftercare activities.

That is a yes he takes care of the kids while you work.

Incorrect. Full time daycare means he's not a childcare provider. Talk to your work to take leave without pay / sabatical or leave the work force temporarily.

Did you just advocate both of them quit their jobs? There's only room for one slacker per family don't you know?

[Anonymous]

I'd have a "get a job or we will have to separate" talk.

File when he gets a job.

File when he doesn't get a job.

It would be nice to count on him doing the right thing to be financially solvent but it sounds unlikely. You can't live this way. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let this be a warning to you men thinking about marriage: 1) women file for divorce when the money runs out, and 2) even if you (the man) are the primary caregiver your wife is still going to sue for full custody.

Here's hoping that OP's DH has some extra cash squirreled away so he can hire a good lawyer.

Women file for divorce when men don't have a job. Male unemployment is the number 1 predictor of divorce. Women don't like to be married to unemployed men. Is this honestly shocking to you?

And yet it's expected that[b] men are supposed to devote their lives and finances to unemployed women?

[/b]
Lol what?!?! Who said that?

PP who said the bolded: You do know that for hundreds of years women were discouraged from attending college and getting jobs outside the homes? They were expected to have lots of children and tend the home. Men were supposed to be the supporter of the family. That was the norm. Now it has changed but, that is the reason that "men were supposed to earn money and take care of unemployed ( but working women"

Get it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hope he runs you through the wringer.

PP you are a very mean spirited person. Wouldn't you be upset with DH if you were the wife in this situation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Everyone on this board advocating that the SAHM is providing equal services in a marriage...LOL. I mean it sounds like this dad is doing the exact thing many of the moms here do, a) no job for 5-10 years CHECK, b) no ambitions outside the home after babies are born CHECK, c) No gainful income CHECK, and d) slaving over all the kids when really their children are in school and daycare for 4-6 hours a day CHECK.

So tell me...what's different here?

Beautiful.

The difference is he didn't actually give birth. There is a reason why many women want to stay home with their babies. I won't spell it out for you because it might go over your head.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let this be a warning to you men thinking about marriage: 1) women file for divorce when the money runs out, and 2) even if you (the man) are the primary caregiver your wife is still going to sue for full custody.

Here's hoping that OP's DH has some extra cash squirreled away so he can hire a good lawyer.

What's the warning here, you stop supporting your wife and family then bad things happen?

And yet wives expect to be supported and no bad things will happen... and they're outraged if bad things do happen...

"For richer or for poorer except if you're the woman and then it's only for richer."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:op, is your husband possibly struggling with depression or PTSD?

He's gonna be really fukkin depressed when she dumps his unemployed ass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let this be a warning to you men thinking about marriage: 1) women file for divorce when the money runs out, and 2) even if you (the man) are the primary caregiver your wife is still going to sue for full custody.

Here's hoping that OP's DH has some extra cash squirreled away so he can hire a good lawyer.

Women file for divorce when men don't have a job. Male unemployment is the number 1 predictor of divorce. Women don't like to be married to unemployed men. Is this honestly shocking to you?

And yet it's expected that men are supposed to devote their lives and finances to unemployed women?

Lol what?!?! Who said that?

Everyone on this board advocating that the SAHM is providing equal services in a marriage...LOL. I mean it sounds like this dad is doing the exact thing many of the moms here do, a) no job for 5-10 years CHECK, b) no ambitions outside the home after babies are born CHECK, c) No gainful income CHECK, and d) slaving over all the kids when really their children are in school and daycare for 4-6 hours a day CHECK.

So tell me...what's different here?

The reality is that most women are not feminists. They believe that men should be the providers and they mostly do not respect men who are unable, to unwilling, to do so.

The reality is most women are feminists when it suits them to be.

Ok, so you are misogynist. Ok, got it. Don't get married; no one is forcing you.

Oh it is abundantly clear from DCUM and from society in general that marriage is a bad, bad deal for men and they shouldn't do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd have a "get a job or we will have to separate" talk.

File when he gets a job.

File when he doesn't get a job.

It would be nice to count on him doing the right thing to be financially solvent but it sounds unlikely. You can't live this way. Good luck.

This sounds like a bluff OP might lose. Her DH might say, "ok, go ahead and file, because my lawyer tells me that as the primary caregiver for the last 6-7 years I will get primary custody and child support and maybe alimony."