Having the "stranger talk" with your child

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I 100% do not worry about stranger abductions. You said you know how very rare they are, so I assume you know the statistics.

There are no real "strangers" in our house. They certainly aren't a "danger". We make sure our kids know that ONLY mom and dad or grandparents, or someone they KNOW, would be picking them up. Plain and simple. We would never recruit a person they don't know, to pick them up. Ever. Under no circumstances. If someone says otherwise, run home to a neighbor for help, or run to someone in a store and ask for help. Run to a pedestrian and ask for help. But never will a person we don't know come for you.

About 1-2x /year on our Bethesda neighborhood listserve, we have a report of a stranger trying to convince a kid to get in a car. I don't think it's rare. There was a thread a while back on which many adult DCUM users recalled encountering a predator that was a stranger.

FFS. Look at the actual statistics. It's exceptionally rare and always has been. The rates have remained steady for decades if not centuries. Your child is MUCH more likely to get hit by a car, than encounter a nefarious stranger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I 100% do not worry about stranger abductions. You said you know how very rare they are, so I assume you know the statistics.

There are no real "strangers" in our house. They certainly aren't a "danger". We make sure our kids know that ONLY mom and dad or grandparents, or someone they KNOW, would be picking them up. Plain and simple. We would never recruit a person they don't know, to pick them up. Ever. Under no circumstances. If someone says otherwise, run home to a neighbor for help, or run to someone in a store and ask for help. Run to a pedestrian and ask for help. But never will a person we don't know come for you.

About 1-2x /year on our Bethesda neighborhood listserve, we have a report of a stranger trying to convince a kid to get in a car. I don't think it's rare. There was a thread a while back on which many adult DCUM users recalled encountering a predator that was a stranger.

But the kids knew not to get in the car. You should really inform yourself how it actually happens. Most of these "men trying to lure kids into cars" are men getting a rise (literally) buy the idea of doing this, though they never take or drive off with a kid, and have no real desire to do THAT. Men could be looking at your kids in the mall without you even knowing and getting off. Creepy as hell, but most have zero desire to actually abduct.

I encourage you to read "Free-Range Kids" it's a good book that goes into this.

Not that poster, but my 10 year old son was approached by two men in a van a month or so ago, in Rockville. To me, the fact it was two men, makes me feel it was more about sex trafficking.

Sex trafficking is more common, but dragging kids off the street in a van is not. Sex traffickers befriend vulnerable teenage kids. They don't abduct little boys in the middle of the day in vans.

[Anonymous]

Very useful blog post here laying out the real stats: http://reason.com/blog/2017/03/31/kidnapping-stats

65 kids a year abducted by strangers or acquaintances (and the definition of acquaintance is very broad, and is not what most people would consider a stranger)
Only a third from a public place
Less than half under the age of 12
Most got home safely

65 kids out of all the millions in the US. Those numbers are TEENY TINY. And most of those abductions are by people the kids knew. Teaching about "stranger danger" does not solve anything. We need to teach our kids how to behave around people they know.