Can you tell if someone is trying to fake a higher SES?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I assume anyone who has feels the need to tell me about their SES is trying to fake it.

I find it really awkward when people talk to me about how much they make. How are you supposed to respond to that? Um.... good for you? Who does that? I'm talking completely random strangers.

The only people we talk about our wealth to is our equally wealthy inner circle. Conversations consisting of, "We made $35K in the market today. How'd you do?" or "What's next on your travel list?", etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seems like OP is trying to feel better by thinking that people fake their SES.

OP, I live in a neighborhood where homes sell for as high as $15 million. Unfortunately, we are not among them although our house is nice. I don't know what most of the people do or if they work a full time job or are independently wealthy. They pay several million dollars for a house to tear down or completely gut. They are people who are in private equity or venture capital, tech, big law, management consultant. A lot work from home. They live in the homes for maybe 5-10 years, then they move to wherever their work takes them. Their kids go to private schools where tuition is between $35 - 40K a year. They vacation at exclusive resorts or have second homes. But, get this, OP, you would never know because they often drive regular cars (tuck the Tesla or Lambo in the garage) and eat at the same restaurants you and I eat at. They are not ostentatious although they may be wealthy. In other words, OP, just live your life and stop worrying about how other people live theirs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I assume anyone who has feels the need to tell me about their SES is trying to fake it.

I find it really awkward when people talk to me about how much they make. How are you supposed to respond to that? Um.... good for you? Who does that? I'm talking completely random strangers.

The only people we talk about our wealth to is our equally wealthy inner circle. Conversations consisting of, "We made $35K in the market today. How'd you do?" or "What's next on your travel list?", etc.

It's gauche to talk about wealth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No I cannot. I've been surprised by well dressed well traveled (internationally) people who enjoy other finer things in life but turns out they don't have any DP to purchase even a tiny condo at age 39, and even incurred CC debt. Or it turns out they live in a rental in Springfield though they portray the first impression of having bought a single house before age 32 in NW or Bethesda or N Arlington or Mclean or Pitomac or something.

I've also been surprised by the opposite. Dressed down, dpwn to earth personality, even looks like they rolled out of bed some days, almost no money spent on hair makeup clothes, then got invited to their house which turnedout to be a 1.7 mil new build in Mclean.

I think it is a perfect example that all people are different and have different values. For me it is sad to see people spend $1.5 mil for house and never been outside of US, or color their hair at home. Life is short. None of my kids will probably want to live in the large house after we dead. I don't like stuff, but i like fine things (like fine cashmere, hand crafted shoes, feeling of the silk on my body). I would rather have the small joys of life and travel around the world, then live in mcmantion in McLane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I assume anyone who has feels the need to tell me about their SES is trying to fake it.

I find it really awkward when people talk to me about how much they make. How are you supposed to respond to that? Um.... good for you? Who does that? I'm talking completely random strangers.

The only people we talk about our wealth to is our equally wealthy inner circle. Conversations consisting of, "We made $35K in the market today. How'd you do?" or "What's next on your travel list?", etc.

Are you joking? Who says that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No I cannot. I've been surprised by well dressed well traveled (internationally) people who enjoy other finer things in life but turns out they don't have any DP to purchase even a tiny condo at age 39, and even incurred CC debt. Or it turns out they live in a rental in Springfield though they portray the first impression of having bought a single house before age 32 in NW or Bethesda or N Arlington or Mclean or Pitomac or something.

I've also been surprised by the opposite. Dressed down, dpwn to earth personality, even looks like they rolled out of bed some days, almost no money spent on hair makeup clothes, then got invited to their house which turnedout to be a 1.7 mil new build in Mclean.

I think it is a perfect example that all people are different and have different values. For me it is sad to see people spend $1.5 mil for house and never been outside of US, or color their hair at home. Life is short. None of my kids will probably want to live in the large house after we dead. I don't like stuff, but i like fine things (like fine cashmere, hand crafted shoes, feeling of the silk on my body). I would rather have the small joys of life and travel around the world, then live in mcmantion in McLane.

Everyone has different priorities. We have a nice home, drive luxury cars and like to travel. I don't spend a ton of money on clothes. I do like shoes and handbags but I get like 1 or 2 per year. We have a seven figure income and dress down and comfortably most of the time. I doubt anyone thinks we have money.

[Anonymous]

If anything I try to "fake" a lower SES. We're frugal in a lot of ways and have an average HHI (low compared to many of you) but a high net worth. I think our friends would assume we are worth a quarter or less than we are. We're not big spenders. Except on vacations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If anything I try to "fake" a lower SES. We're frugal in a lot of ways and have an average HHI (low compared to many of you) but a high net worth. I think our friends would assume we are worth a quarter or less than we are. We're not big spenders. Except on vacations.

Same. We live in an inexpensive rowhouse for our HHI. Our goal is to invest at least 100k annually in our brokerage account the next 10 years and also pay off most of our mortgage on our current home . Then we will be in our mid 40s and decide whether to buy a nicer home in mostly cash.