Can you tell if someone is trying to fake a higher SES?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seems like there are many people trying to look wealthier than they are. What are the tell-tale signs?

Go to their house if the opportunity presents itself, or take a look at how clean their car is on the inside.

The theory is that if they are pretending, they will usually let stuff go that isn't normally seen by others.

Aren't you confusing tidiness with wealth? I've known plenty of messy rich people and tidy poor people.

[Anonymous]

To answer the OP, car leasing is the biggest one for me. Truly wealthy people don't do this, despite how much the posers like to insist "it's such a good deal!" and they could "totally afford to buy the same car" they just choose to lease instead. Yeah right.

Cue the lease fanatics!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seems like there are many people trying to look wealthier than they are. What are the tell-tale signs?

Go to their house if the opportunity presents itself, or take a look at how clean their car is on the inside.

The theory is that if they are pretending, they will usually let stuff go that isn't normally seen by others.

Aren't you confusing tidiness with wealth? I've known plenty of messy rich people and tidy poor people.

LOL, yes, my car is a trash can, and my employer has yet to slash my salary based on the fact that it hasn't been vacuumed in at least a year, nor have the banks drained my accounts. I loathe tidying and cleaning, and I do enough that my house is decent but not immaculate and magazine-ready. Some of the most successful people (high-end professional services firm) with whom I work look like they're vying for a spot on Hoarders, they have so much stuff in their offices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seems like there are many people trying to look wealthier than they are. What are the tell-tale signs?

Go to their house if the opportunity presents itself, or take a look at how clean their car is on the inside.

The theory is that if they are pretending, they will usually let stuff go that isn't normally seen by others.

You are mistaken if you think people don't go into debt to decorate and hire housekeepers in order to maintain the interiors of their homes to show off to visitors. The untidy ones probably don't care.

[Anonymous]

When I was in fifth grade, I went to a classmate's house who lived on "the rich side of town". In our town, "rich" meant a four or five bedroom house with an eat-in kitchen and a separate formal living room (we're not talking true wealth here, just a suburb with "Haves" and "Have a little less-es"). Their formal living room had not a stitch of furniture in it, nor did their dining room. They hadn't moved recently. She apologized and said it was because her brother was "hyperactive".

It didn't dawn on me until years later that they were completely house-poor and couldn't really afford to live there.

[Anonymous]

No I cannot. I've been surprised by well dressed well traveled (internationally) people who enjoy other finer things in life but turns out they don't have any DP to purchase even a tiny condo at age 39, and even incurred CC debt. Or it turns out they live in a rental in Springfield though they portray the first impression of having bought a single house before age 32 in NW or Bethesda or N Arlington or Mclean or Pitomac or something.

I've also been surprised by the opposite. Dressed down, dpwn to earth personality, even looks like they rolled out of bed some days, almost no money spent on hair makeup clothes, then got invited to their house which turnedout to be a 1.7 mil new build in Mclean.

[Anonymous]

I don't think there are tell tale signs on the surface unless you truly get to know the person. But I know for sure is that not all people who drive fancy cars, wear LV bags, Jimmy Choos are high SES.

[Anonymous]

I can't think of any friends or acquaintances who I suspect are "faking" a higher SES. I was surprised recently at an old friend's really extravagant honeymoon - first class, Maldives, safari, etc. I don't think that's faking a higher SES - they just either scrimped and saved or went into debt for it. People have different spending priorities.

On the other hand, my aunt has always embellished her background. She has had a successful career and is UMC and her lifestyle reflects that. Nothing unusual or fake about her home, cars, vacations, etc. However, I've heard her among friends and colleagues tell stories about growing up and her parents (my grandparents) that make it seem like they were wealthier than they were. For example, my grandfather had an excavation business, and my grandmother was a SAHM. Squarely middle-class. She makes it seem like my grandfather was more of a captain of industry, CEO type rather than a small-town, blue collar business owner with a high school education. Little anecdotes and tidbits I've heard her share over many years that don't jive with reality. Another time I heard her talk about a family vacation to Florida when she and my mom were kids. They drove there - typical middle-class family vacation. My aunt mentioned flying there, and implied it was a regular thing for them, possibly with a vacation home. It was a one-time trip. My mom didn't get on a plane until she was an adult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To answer the OP, car leasing is the biggest one for me. Truly wealthy people don't do this, despite how much the posers like to insist "it's such a good deal!" and they could "totally afford to buy the same car" they just choose to lease instead. Yeah right.

Cue the lease fanatics!

My BIL leases his cars because he can write them off as a business expense. He is worth $15mil+.

[Anonymous]

this country is becoming more and more petty. why do OPs like this exist? they have so little going on in their lives that this is what they focus on? Sad.

[Anonymous]

If the OP was genuinely concerned about people who live below the poverty-line and trying to "fake" being middle-class to avoid disparagement I might understand the inquiry...some people/families need help and may be too ashamed to come forward and the OP wants to know what are the tell-tale signs to help aid these people.

But, unfortunately, it appears that the OP is only interested in trying to "expose" the faux-bourgeoisie to boost his/her own self-esteem so on that basis I conclude that this question is some straight-up senseless bullshit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I was in fifth grade, I went to a classmate's house who lived on "the rich side of town". In our town, "rich" meant a four or five bedroom house with an eat-in kitchen and a separate formal living room (we're not talking true wealth here, just a suburb with "Haves" and "Have a little less-es"). Their formal living room had not a stitch of furniture in it, nor did their dining room. They hadn't moved recently. She apologized and said it was because her brother was "hyperactive".

It didn't dawn on me until years later that they were completely house-poor and couldn't really afford to live there.

Just for another point of view, I do have a child with special needa (autism) and did not furnish my dining room because there was no point in having formal dinners when my child has damaged many furnishings and decor.

[Anonymous]

I assume anyone who has feels the need to tell me about their SES is trying to fake it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seems like OP is trying to feel better by thinking that people fake their SES.

lol. +1. Everyone that drives a new Mercedes SUV is in debt up to their eyeballs! Yeah... or they just make more than you or were already left a few million in their grandparents' estates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To answer the OP, car leasing is the biggest one for me. Truly wealthy people don't do this, despite how much the posers like to insist "it's such a good deal!" and they could "totally afford to buy the same car" they just choose to lease instead. Yeah right.

Cue the lease fanatics!

I don't really care one way or the other, but my parents have an 8 figure net worth and they lease their cars. Mostly because my mom likes to have newer vehicles (and is kind of hard on them). When we were younger and they had more expenses and less money (though still solidly UMC), they always paid cash for cars. Then my dad got tired of my mom deciding she didn't like her car and wanting a new one every few years.

FWIW, I would say DH and I are high income, but still building wealth. We pay cash for our cars, except the Leaf that he leases. Because who pays cash for a Leaf?