Techniques to Stay Cool/Calm on the Sideline

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Only positive comments. Cheer for the other team, too, when one of their players makes a good play. Remember that it is only a game. If your kid makes a mistake, shrug, oh well, it happens and it will be better next time. Anther kid on your kid's team makes a mistake, shrug, oh well, it happens, and it will be better next time.

I have been going to youth league, high school and college sports to cheer on my children for almost 20 years. Last week I was at a game that is in my top 10 for worst parent behavior. Apparently the parents have a rep because one of the refs told a parent on the sideline to warn the others that if they cheered inappropriately they would be ejected from the area. Despite this, they were still some of the worst sideline parents I have ever seen. At one point they were doing little happy dances, singing and giving thumbs-up to their kids on the field with loud cheers after the goalie for the opposing team scored for them. They were completely disgusting.

OP, it only takes witnessing something like this for you to realize that you do NOT want to be one of those parents.

They were from Maryland, weren't they?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let me tell you something, from a seasoned veteran soccer parent:

The younger and lower-level the player, the older and more obnoxious the parent. DON'T BE THAT PARENT.

Cheer and clap. THAT'S IT. If you have to coach and act like a buffoon, go watch it from your car.

Anecdotes:
At a tournament a few years ago, a mom RAN ONTO THE FIELD during the game to show the ref ON HER CAMERA a foul committed against her kid or her kids team. DONT DO THAT. EVER.

Recently I saw a lower level girls team game where a mom was arguing with her daughter (and the ref) from the sideline about how much time was left in the game. The team lost and the girl played terribly.

I see a number of games where the parent is berating the kid all the way to the car, kid in tears most of the time. DONT DO THAT. EVER.

full of smugness in this response

[Anonymous]

I can't keep quiet, but I am the soother and supporter.

Own goal and player hanging their head almost crying--"don't worry Mikey! It's ok".

Team obviously dejected after being scored on and dragging back to center line: "it's okay, guys! We can get it back".

"Nice idea, Mark!" When a kid is going for a nice pass but it doesn't have the "enough oomph"" or intercepted.

I praise the assist before the goal and will give a shout out to both.

I try to find something good to say about everyone--even when it's a bad day.

I will compliment other team on a nice save by the goalie, etc.

I try not to cheer when the score gets ridiculous "it's a tiny golf clap when it's starting to get up there and nothing when it's a really large margin.

I never shout or give direction/coaching. EVER. I never comment on refs calls.

It's just too odd for me when you can hear a pin drop on the sideline. Younger kids also really do respond to positivity and helps them gather their emotions.

I wish I could not say a word, but I'm part Italian--not going to happen--so at least it will all be positive and supportive.

After the game, if I see kids from our team or opponents on way to car--I say "nice game". If an opponent was spectacular --I let them know.

My kids have had parents (and even players) from opposing teams come over to tell them they really played great and we absolutely do the same. It's just a game and when it's over--even your toughest rivals--you leave it on the field and show good sportsmanship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let me tell you something, from a seasoned veteran soccer parent:

The younger and lower-level the player, the older and more obnoxious the parent. DON'T BE THAT PARENT.

Cheer and clap. THAT'S IT. If you have to coach and act like a buffoon, go watch it from your car.

Anecdotes:
At a tournament a few years ago, a mom RAN ONTO THE FIELD during the game to show the ref ON HER CAMERA a foul committed against her kid or her kids team. DONT DO THAT. EVER.

Recently I saw a lower level girls team game where a mom was arguing with her daughter (and the ref) from the sideline about how much time was left in the game. The team lost and the girl played terribly.

I see a number of games where the parent is berating the kid all the way to the car, kid in tears most of the time. DONT DO THAT. EVER.

full of smugness in this response

You must one of "those" parents.

[Anonymous]

i don't get the 'it's just a game' comment. how do you ask kids to try their hardest and do their best before a game only to say 'it's just a game' when it's over? can kids reconcile these conflicting messages?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:i don't get the 'it's just a game' comment. how do you ask kids to try their hardest and do their best before a game only to say 'it's just a game' when it's over? can kids reconcile these conflicting messages?

It depends on what age and what level you are asking about.

House: it's always just a game
Travel: below u12, it's just a game
Travel: high level elite high school age, it's never just a game because at this level some of these games do matter, especially if you're being recruited for college, but it should still be fun and each game is not determining where they are in life. It's more pressure, but if they can't handle the pressure at this level they shouldn't be playing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i don't get the 'it's just a game' comment. how do you ask kids to try their hardest and do their best before a game only to say 'it's just a game' when it's over? can kids reconcile these conflicting messages?

It depends on what age and what level you are asking about.

House: it's always just a game
Travel: below u12, it's just a game
Travel: high level elite high school age, it's never just a game because at this level some of these games do matter, especially if you're being recruited for college, but it should still be fun and each game is not determining where they are in life. It's more pressure, but if they can't handle the pressure at this level they shouldn't be playing.

Watch video of the real Barca youth academy and how their players leave it on the field and have character after games. The viral video of them hugging the crying Japanese team players. I've seen FIFA opponents console each other after matches--hug, give congrats. Yes-there sometimes are bitter personality conflicts but for the most part they respect f one another.

I played plenty of Regional championship games and a National championship and won a VA high school state championship. We all showed humility and left it on the field. Those HS players that act like douches after the game isn't because they are oh-so elite and competitive--give me a break. They have zero class. They were taught to be douches by the parents and coaches that tolerated crappy post-game behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Only positive comments. Cheer for the other team, too, when one of their players makes a good play. Remember that it is only a game. If your kid makes a mistake, shrug, oh well, it happens and it will be better next time. Anther kid on your kid's team makes a mistake, shrug, oh well, it happens, and it will be better next time.

I have been going to youth league, high school and college sports to cheer on my children for almost 20 years. Last week I was at a game that is in my top 10 for worst parent behavior. Apparently the parents have a rep because one of the refs told a parent on the sideline to warn the others that if they cheered inappropriately they would be ejected from the area. Despite this, they were still some of the worst sideline parents I have ever seen. At one point they were doing little happy dances, singing and giving thumbs-up to their kids on the field with loud cheers after the goalie for the opposing team scored for them. They were completely disgusting.

OP, it only takes witnessing something like this for you to realize that you do NOT want to be one of those parents.

They were from Maryland, weren't they?

Actually, they were from the western part of Fairfax County almost at the next county. It was pretty horrible. But, you're right, it is all over the place and it seems to be whole teams. Very upsetting. My kid even remarked on it and usually this kind of stuff is not even on the radar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i don't get the 'it's just a game' comment. how do you ask kids to try their hardest and do their best before a game only to say 'it's just a game' when it's over? can kids reconcile these conflicting messages?

It depends on what age and what level you are asking about.

House: it's always just a game
Travel: below u12, it's just a game
Travel: high level elite high school age, it's never just a game because at this level some of these games do matter, especially if you're being recruited for college, but it should still be fun and each game is not determining where they are in life. It's more pressure, but if they can't handle the pressure at this level they shouldn't be playing.

Watch video of the real Barca youth academy and how their players leave it on the field and have character after games. The viral video of them hugging the crying Japanese team players. I've seen FIFA opponents console each other after matches--hug, give congrats. Yes-there sometimes are bitter personality conflicts but for the most part they respect f one another.

I played plenty of Regional championship games and a National championship and won a VA high school state championship. We all showed humility and left it on the field. Those HS players that act like douches after the game isn't because they are oh-so elite and competitive--give me a break. They have zero class. They were taught to be douches by the parents and coaches that tolerated crappy post-game behavior.

wrong thread?

[Anonymous]

This is easy.....

Have your kid play on the appropriate skill level and. It on a team because you paid the money.

[Anonymous]

1) Take the advice here
2) If you can't manage to keep within those limits, then stand further away from the field, outside of earshot.
3) If you still can't control yourself, go sit in your car, if necessary parked with a view of the field. Keep the windows closed.

I managed a travel team (<U12) for a couple of years and there were a few of THOSE PARENTS - eventually they got it, and realized that they couldn't cure their problem so at least removed themselves from making their problem one for their daughters, the team, and the other parents (using #2 or #3).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Only positive comments. Cheer for the other team, too, when one of their players makes a good play. Remember that it is only a game. If your kid makes a mistake, shrug, oh well, it happens and it will be better next time. Anther kid on your kid's team makes a mistake, shrug, oh well, it happens, and it will be better next time.

I have been going to youth league, high school and college sports to cheer on my children for almost 20 years. Last week I was at a game that is in my top 10 for worst parent behavior. Apparently the parents have a rep because one of the refs told a parent on the sideline to warn the others that if they cheered inappropriately they would be ejected from the area. Despite this, they were still some of the worst sideline parents I have ever seen. At one point they were doing little happy dances, singing and giving thumbs-up to their kids on the field with loud cheers after the goalie for the opposing team scored for them. They were completely disgusting.

OP, it only takes witnessing something like this for you to realize that you do NOT want to be one of those parents.

They were from Maryland, weren't they?

Actually, they were from the western part of Fairfax County almost at the next county. It was pretty horrible. But, you're right, it is all over the place and it seems to be whole teams. Very upsetting. My kid even remarked on it and usually this kind of stuff is not even on the radar.

Hmmmm
Thats Prince William County

NVSC- a lot of Hispanic kids with passionate parents
VSA- a lot of Wannabe Loudoun clones who aren't snooty. Have a false sense that the club and kids are on a higher level
SYA- pretty good smaller club. Haven't had any bad experience dealing with them
CYA- not too familiar

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Only positive comments. Cheer for the other team, too, when one of their players makes a good play. Remember that it is only a game. If your kid makes a mistake, shrug, oh well, it happens and it will be better next time. Anther kid on your kid's team makes a mistake, shrug, oh well, it happens, and it will be better next time.

I have been going to youth league, high school and college sports to cheer on my children for almost 20 years. Last week I was at a game that is in my top 10 for worst parent behavior. Apparently the parents have a rep because one of the refs told a parent on the sideline to warn the others that if they cheered inappropriately they would be ejected from the area. Despite this, they were still some of the worst sideline parents I have ever seen. At one point they were doing little happy dances, singing and giving thumbs-up to their kids on the field with loud cheers after the goalie for the opposing team scored for them. They were completely disgusting.

OP, it only takes witnessing something like this for you to realize that you do NOT want to be one of those parents.

They were from Maryland, weren't they?

Actually, they were from the western part of Fairfax County almost at the next county. It was pretty horrible. But, you're right, it is all over the place and it seems to be whole teams. Very upsetting. My kid even remarked on it and usually this kind of stuff is not even on the radar.

Hmmmm
Thats Prince William County

NVSC- a lot of Hispanic kids with passionate parents
VSA- a lot of Wannabe Loudoun clones who are snooty. Have a false sense that the club and kids are on a higher level
SYA- pretty good smaller club. Haven't had any bad experience dealing with them
CYA- not too familiar

Fixed it....... autocorrect smh

[Anonymous]

The never used, certain cure is video of the fans. I doubt that 90% of the obnoxious parents would continue their behavior if they saw a video of their angry, contorted faces and heard the things they say replayed to them.

The one thing I always wanted to hear a parent scream at their own kid is: "why didn't your parents' DNA provide the athleticism and drive necessary for you to be as good as I so desperately hoped you would be?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Only positive comments. Cheer for the other team, too, when one of their players makes a good play. Remember that it is only a game. If your kid makes a mistake, shrug, oh well, it happens and it will be better next time. Anther kid on your kid's team makes a mistake, shrug, oh well, it happens, and it will be better next time.

I have been going to youth league, high school and college sports to cheer on my children for almost 20 years. Last week I was at a game that is in my top 10 for worst parent behavior. Apparently the parents have a rep because one of the refs told a parent on the sideline to warn the others that if they cheered inappropriately they would be ejected from the area. Despite this, they were still some of the worst sideline parents I have ever seen. At one point they were doing little happy dances, singing and giving thumbs-up to their kids on the field with loud cheers after the goalie for the opposing team scored for them. They were completely disgusting.

OP, it only takes witnessing something like this for you to realize that you do NOT want to be one of those parents.

They were from Maryland, weren't they?

Actually, they were from the western part of Fairfax County almost at the next county. It was pretty horrible. But, you're right, it is all over the place and it seems to be whole teams. Very upsetting. My kid even remarked on it and usually this kind of stuff is not even on the radar.

Hmmmm
Thats Prince William County

NVSC- a lot of Hispanic kids with passionate parents
VSA- a lot of Wannabe Loudoun clones who are snooty. Have a false sense that the club and kids are on a higher level
SYA- pretty good smaller club. Haven't had any bad experience dealing with them
CYA- not too familiar

Fixed it....... autocorrect smh

I don't want to say the team but I do want to clarify that it was -not- NVSC.