Staying with grandparents in empty house

[Anonymous]

*already started this precedent or pattern*

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. Thanks everyone for the replies. Update is I spoke with mom and she accepted my offer to buy them some cheap furniture, but asked shouldn't she pick it out herself...? Which is opening a whole other can of worms as she is really indecisive and slow, but I told her OK, I will send you a few options and you let me know by Friday, otherwise I'm picking things out myself. Then this weekend, my brother who lives close by will go to IKEA to buy the furniture and probably assemble it himself.

To respond to more recent posters: my parents have a little furniture, but in their own rooms (e.g., dad's home office). None of it is suitable for the common areas, though, such as an office chair. My parents and I get along fine and DD's toddler self loves spending time with them so I would much rather we stay with them and I think the few sticks of furniture we get will make a huge difference to our (and their!) comfort. Several posters have expressed concern about my parents' cognitive function. I think they're okay right now, but it is probably in decline. It's very frustrating to me to hear about their experiences with their contractors because whether it has to do with their cognitive function or not, they are getting taken advantage of. I wish I lived close by because I would help them out A LOT (and happily), but there's hardly anything I can do from this distance. My brother is close to them (relationship and distance-wise) so I will broach this with him and ask him to keep an eye out for cognitive issues.

You can make phone calls from afar. If your parents will let yo- take over the management of the project and put a fire under those contractor's or at least get their side of the story- then you can establish how much help your parents may need. If the contractor's start talking to a person who is direct and capable, it may go more quickly. You can have your brother verify work being done.

[Anonymous]

OP, my suggestion is to look at estatesales.net and see if there are any good estate sales coming up in their area. Estate sales usually start at 8 a.m. on
Thursdays, and all the "good" furniture gets snatched up quickly. The web site has photos of the stuff that will be for sale.

That way you can buy furniture on the cheap for now, and your parents can replace it if they want to when they are ready to make their final decisions on permanent furnishings.

[Anonymous]

Strange. Maybe you can bring some blow up furniture. I had s couch in college that was pretty comfortable actually (it was leopard print too lol).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has she always been indecisive and slow? That right there is an indicator of cognitive decline.

Bring your kids a big yoga ball, an empty house will be so fun for that.

Yikes! I hope not. I'm 31 and in the middle of a kitchen and bathroom remodel. I hate making decisions because every little thing has 5 thousand options. Sometimes, I get tired just from deciding, and I'd (almost!) rather keep the dated stuff.

The comments about the dust is real though.

We're remodeling the master bathroom and we took everything out in preparation. The amount of dust is surreal. They open all the windows in the room and leave the door closed while they work but there's still a daily ayer of dust in the hallway. We're getting a new bedroom set when they're done. There's no way I would buy new furniture with renovations going on, so I understand your parents on that front.

The thing that is worrisome about your post is how long your parent's renovations are taking. It shouldn't be more than a couple months and it sounds like it's been at least 6??? Definitely talk to your brother about being more involved. Something seems off with the contractors.

P.S. Definitely order the yoga ball!

[Anonymous]

Sounds like my husband with ADHD, who has many steps in his plan, and doesn't want to do things at the end of his plan because he still hasn't done the first steps. As a result, our basement is unlivable and it drives me crazy (all his stuff, he'd have a fit if I did it myself).

Personally I wouldn't mind the situation you describe. But if you mind, then tell your parents that unless there's some furniture down there, you're not coming. Period.

[Anonymous]

They need your company and maybe your help purchasing simple but comfortable furniture.
Invest in a good mattress and a loveseat
Don't be cheap with your parents
Listen to them patiently

[Anonymous]

id still go, but get a hotel room..

[Anonymous]

This is OP. I just saw this thread is still alive so here's an update and not so exciting conclusion. I sent my mom links to a few furniture items and had a couple conversations with her about them, it apparently lit a fire under her and my dad's a**es because they now have a sofa set! Permanent furniture, not the temporary futon-type inexpensive things that I picked out for them. I'm so relieved not just for myself, but for them, too; I think they were getting used to living in a near empty house (it's been over a year!) and could have easily continued for another year or more.

This is the first time I can recall that I offered to buy them something they should get themselves. I tried to be involved in the home renovation early on, but it was a very simple matter for my dad to exclude me since I'm out of town. My dad is pigheaded and will not let anyone control the reno but him. As he drives the process, I think a lot of the slowness falls on him. I believe he makes decisions that he thinks will save money, even if they cost him a lot of time (and end up not saving money). For instance, he hired an elderly woodworker, I'm guessing he charges less, but he ended up falling ill and not being able to work for several weeks, which probably delayed other things, too. My dad also will change his mind about things while they are in process so the contractor has to tear down some of his work and do it again. The contractor may not be completely blameless, but I know how my dad is. He is a terrible manager, always has been, but refuses to let go of the reins.