S/O. Wanting your kid to go college far out of state

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I want to be sure he is far from my helicopter blades.

But she's still telling her what to do...it's weird, OP

You have the sense of humor of an arm chair. I'm laughing at myself, ninny.

[Anonymous]

My DC wants to study abroad and get out of town which aligns with my thinking so I'm happy.
We know too many kids who go to university close-by and are home so much doing laundry, having mom make meals, etc that it doesn't seem like college is that much of a change from HS. I think Georgetown is different b/c so many kids come from outside the area. College should be a chance for a child to grow academically, socially and emotionally and getting outside the beltway bubble is a good way to do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I want my child to go away to school and do an abroad program. Yes, I think it is incredibly important she NOT stay in this area. Boston or New York would be marginally okay but We are encouraging her to go farther.

We are not practicing Catholics but Norte Dame has a great sophomore year abroad program that would be great for her.

Do you have any idea how stupid you sound? Do you really think that your child will have a meaningfully different experience at a school that's 800 miles away as opposed to 300 miles away? For that matter if the school is 100 miles away do you fear they'll be home every weekend? It sounds like you and the OP didn't go to college and have little to no understanding of the dynamics of the college experience. And every college offers study abroad although usually during junior year. As others have said, focus on the fit and not some absurdly irrelevant criteria like distance from the home.

A school in another part of the country and with a year abroad program IS what she wants and is what is best for her. Yes, I believe she will have a meaningfully different experience at Norte Dame than at UVA. The abroad program at ND is a full year during sophomore year which is better for non language majors. I don't know why more colleges don't do this. A fit for my daughter is away.

Any other questions on my parenting?

It has nothing to do with parenting and everything to do with being reasonably well informed. There is nothing more alarming than ignorant parents giving advice to ill informed children. And btw you need to do more research on study abroad programs.

NP here and I actually graduated from Notre Dame and did the sophomore year abroad program. I did do research and found no other American university with a university-run program for sophomores. At Notre Dame, you pay ND tuition, have a ND faculty member there and your grades at the foreign college are counted toward your Notre Dame GPA.

But that is beside the point. I want my kids to go to another part of the country for college as well AS PART of their education, too. It has nothing to do with "fit". I want my kids to learn to fit in anywhere they go - college, jobs, countries, etc. I don't want them to repeat their high school experiences.

There's a reason no other school has study abroad sophomore year.....it makes little sense. As a sophomore you're just beginning to fully integrate into the college experience....why would you want to leave so early?

[Anonymous]

I am the PP from Notre Dame who did the sophomore year abroad program and adored it. Going away for all of sophomore year meant I could experience living and studying abroad and still major in the sciences. As one who did it, I also question why more schools don't do it. The sophomore year abroad program at ND and Saint Mary's College has been going on for something like 50 years. My mother, Saint Mary's alumnae, did it when she was a sophomore too in 1970 - 71.

[Anonymous]

I am from Virginia, and turned down UVA and William and Mary for UNC. Was perfect school and distance from home for me. I could get home in a few hours if there was some emergency, but otherwise I only went home on breaks, sometimes not even then. 2 people from my high school went there, it is so heavily in state I had no choice but to make all new friends. Loved it, LOVED IT!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the PP from Notre Dame who did the sophomore year abroad program and adored it. Going away for all of sophomore year meant I could experience living and studying abroad and still major in the sciences. As one who did it, I also question why more schools don't do it. The sophomore year abroad program at ND and Saint Mary's College has been going on for something like 50 years. My mother, Saint Mary's alumnae, did it when she was a sophomore too in 1970 - 71.

I'm curious why you think going away sophomore year is a good idea. Virtually every other school offers the same sort of program junior year which in my mind makes a lot more sense.

[Anonymous]

My DC went to one of the midwestern schools on your list OP, along with 18 kids from her HS class and lots of kids from other schools in this area. DC is still friends with a number of the HS classmates but it's certainly not HS 2.0. If anything knowing those kids broadened her horizons because she met people through them. My point is not to assume that just because a school isn't near here that it won't attract kids from this area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the PP from Notre Dame who did the sophomore year abroad program and adored it. Going away for all of sophomore year meant I could experience living and studying abroad and still major in the sciences. As one who did it, I also question why more schools don't do it. The sophomore year abroad program at ND and Saint Mary's College has been going on for something like 50 years. My mother, Saint Mary's alumnae, did it when she was a sophomore too in 1970 - 71.

I'm curious why you think going away sophomore year is a good idea. Virtually every other school offers the same sort of program junior year which in my mind makes a lot more sense.

Sophomore year abroad doesn't effect your major classes. I went to Innsbruck, took all electives and general ed classes (in German) and could come back to major in biology. Friends went to France who had no intention of majoring in French and came back to majors not offered in their college in France anyway - like science or English Lit.

All other junior year long programs thru universities have to be part of your major. Sophomore years are generally a wash anyway. Some comedian once said that all he did sophomore year was try to get away from the friends he made too fast freshman year! Now, that wasn't true for me but was for a few of my friends!


Anyway, having done it the sophomore year abroad program, I can say it makes perfect sense to me (and my mother!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DC went to one of the midwestern schools on your list OP, along with 18 kids from her HS class and lots of kids from other schools in this area. DC is still friends with a number of the HS classmates but it's certainly not HS 2.0. If anything knowing those kids broadened her horizons because she met people through them. My point is not to assume that just because a school isn't near here that it won't attract kids from this area.

I will also add that even among kids who go very far away for school, they tend to hang out with *similar* people to who they were hanging out with at home. I mean, I personally don't care, but I think it's a bit silly to think there's this huge difference between affluent kids from Bethesda and affluent kids from Westport Connecticut and Winnetka IL.

If you *really* wanted your kid to be exposed to all walks of life, somewhere like NVCC is your best bet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the PP from Notre Dame who did the sophomore year abroad program and adored it. Going away for all of sophomore year meant I could experience living and studying abroad and still major in the sciences. As one who did it, I also question why more schools don't do it. The sophomore year abroad program at ND and Saint Mary's College has been going on for something like 50 years. My mother, Saint Mary's alumnae, did it when she was a sophomore too in 1970 - 71.

I'm curious why you think going away sophomore year is a good idea. Virtually every other school offers the same sort of program junior year which in my mind makes a lot more sense.

Sophomore year abroad doesn't effect your major classes. I went to Innsbruck, took all electives and general ed classes (in German) and could come back to major in biology. Friends went to France who had no intention of majoring in French and came back to majors not offered in their college in France anyway - like science or English Lit.

All other junior year long programs thru universities have to be part of your major. Sophomore years are generally a wash anyway. Some comedian once said that all he did sophomore year was try to get away from the friends he made too fast freshman year! Now, that wasn't true for me but was for a few of my friends!


Anyway, having done it the sophomore year abroad program, I can say it makes perfect sense to me (and my mother!)

That may be the case at Notre Dame but at elite colleges there is no such constraint. Students can study whatever they'd like junior year abroad. Your experience seems to be vert much focused on one school and not the best colleges out there. Great that it worked for you.....not so great to spread incorrect information.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DC went to one of the midwestern schools on your list OP, along with 18 kids from her HS class and lots of kids from other schools in this area. DC is still friends with a number of the HS classmates but it's certainly not HS 2.0. If anything knowing those kids broadened her horizons because she met people through them. My point is not to assume that just because a school isn't near here that it won't attract kids from this area.

I will also add that even among kids who go very far away for school, they tend to hang out with *similar* people to who they were hanging out with at home. I mean, I personally don't care, but I think it's a bit silly to think there's this huge difference between affluent kids from Bethesda and affluent kids from Westport Connecticut and Winnetka IL.

If you *really* wanted your kid to be exposed to all walks of life, somewhere like NVCC is your best bet.

Yup, in fact one of DCs roommates is from Winnetka!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DC went to one of the midwestern schools on your list OP, along with 18 kids from her HS class and lots of kids from other schools in this area. DC is still friends with a number of the HS classmates but it's certainly not HS 2.0. If anything knowing those kids broadened her horizons because she met people through them. My point is not to assume that just because a school isn't near here that it won't attract kids from this area.

I will also add that even among kids who go very far away for school, they tend to hang out with *similar* people to who they were hanging out with at home. I mean, I personally don't care, but I think it's a bit silly to think there's this huge difference between affluent kids from Bethesda and affluent kids from Westport Connecticut and Winnetka IL.

If you *really* wanted your kid to be exposed to all walks of life, somewhere like NVCC is your best bet.

So true! I went to Wisconsin, and "Coastie" was definitely a thing - the affluent, sophisticated kids from the coasts (and to a lesser extent, Chicago/Minneapolis/Milwaukee) tended to befriend each other, join the same sororities/fraternities, and generally surround themselves with the same kind of people they hung out with back home. It's not like wealthy kids were spending much time with kids who came from a farm in rural WI.

Which is fine, but let's not pretend merely going to a different part of the country is going to expand your kid's worldview.

[Anonymous]

I've always recommended students try another part of the country for college (if possible). It's the best time to try something very new in a "safe"/temporary setting. Sure, if you go to a top college nearby, you will meet people from all over, but there's something about getting to know a new region/state that broadens one's experience as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DC went to one of the midwestern schools on your list OP, along with 18 kids from her HS class and lots of kids from other schools in this area. DC is still friends with a number of the HS classmates but it's certainly not HS 2.0. If anything knowing those kids broadened her horizons because she met people through them. My point is not to assume that just because a school isn't near here that it won't attract kids from this area.

I will also add that even among kids who go very far away for school, they tend to hang out with *similar* people to who they were hanging out with at home. I mean, I personally don't care, but I think it's a bit silly to think there's this huge difference between affluent kids from Bethesda and affluent kids from Westport Connecticut and Winnetka IL.

If you *really* wanted your kid to be exposed to all walks of life, somewhere like NVCC is your best bet.

So true! I went to Wisconsin, and "Coastie" was definitely a thing - the affluent, sophisticated kids from the coasts (and to a lesser extent, Chicago/Minneapolis/Milwaukee) tended to befriend each other, join the same sororities/fraternities, and generally surround themselves with the same kind of people they hung out with back home. It's not like wealthy kids were spending much time with kids who came from a farm in rural WI.

Which is fine, but let's not pretend merely going to a different part of the country is going to expand your kid's worldview.

I went to college 1000 miles from home. My best friend in college was from a town 40 miles from my home town. LOL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the PP from Notre Dame who did the sophomore year abroad program and adored it. Going away for all of sophomore year meant I could experience living and studying abroad and still major in the sciences. As one who did it, I also question why more schools don't do it. The sophomore year abroad program at ND and Saint Mary's College has been going on for something like 50 years. My mother, Saint Mary's alumnae, did it when she was a sophomore too in 1970 - 71.

I'm curious why you think going away sophomore year is a good idea. Virtually every other school offers the same sort of program junior year which in my mind makes a lot more sense.

If you are premed or want to major in a science, going abroad in sophomore year or in the summers makes more sense. At more children's colleges, the vast majority went away during junior year, except for the science majors.