Another woman sat on my DHs lap

[Anonymous]

The boundaries are already blurred here. You and DH shouldn't be seeing DH's colleague as a provider. A provider shouldn't be climbing into DH's lap, sober or drunk.

[Anonymous]

Step up your game, add an additional bj a week

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH is at a work dinner. Not sure how many people exactly, it's a goodbye party for someone. Usually these things are 10-20 people. No partners were invited this time.

My DH works at a hospital, he works with residents. He just texted me that one of the drs came around the table and sat on his lap Infront of everyone to talk to his side of the table. He said if this was anyone else my wife would kill me. Not sure what she said, but I imagine she laughed? it off. Not sure how I feel about this. I'm more upset than I'd like to be. I do know this woman, in we both have seen her as a provider. We've also hung out on work retreats and have had drinks/dinner together. She likes to reference me as her little sister. She is married too. I really don't know.... Thoughts?? Help me before he gets back.

What help do you need? Pharmaceutical maybe!

[Anonymous]

Did your DH get her off of his lap right away, or did she hang out there awhile? I'd be pissed if my DH didn't immediately put a stop to it.

I'm usually pretty upfront with people about that stuff. I'd probably ask her outright why she did it and let her know that isn't appropriate.

[Anonymous]

Could he claim sexual harassment?
I'm mostly serious.
He might be a victim here. Unwanted advance. Possibly messing with his career. Forced to continue to work with her.

If we saw all people the same, we'd recognize this situation as victimizing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Could he claim sexual harassment?
I'm mostly serious.
He might be a victim here. Unwanted advance. Possibly messing with his career. Forced to continue to work with her.

If we saw all people the same, we'd recognize this situation as victimizing.

Employment lawyer here. I just laughed and spit up my coffee.

[Anonymous]

Weird, inappropriate and boundary crossing but, I can understand your DH not wanting to make a scene about it. It's sort of like sexual harassment in reverse.

[Anonymous]

Talked to DH this am.

He said he was really uncomfortable and he should have gotten up but didn't. He didn't want to to make her feel bad or cause a scene. He also thought it would look weird if he made a big deal and seemed like he cared. He said he didn't know what to do and he was sitting Infront of his direct boss, and 15 other senior leaders?. And a few people from his department.

At some point she asked is someone looking at us? He responded with well if we're anyone but you but wife would be pissed. She responded with whatever.

I'm embarrassed. For my DH and for how it makes me/us look.

This woman is most definitely on my shit list.

[Anonymous]

I got $5 says within two weeks OP is going to be pissed at her DH and saying its all his fault

[Anonymous]

That looks bad for your dh's career. Many were likely talking about it. You two shouldn't be hanging out with her, she sounds like she likes to cause trouble

[Anonymous]

Your husband's inability to deal with this in a professional and confident manner was definitely noticed by his boss and others.

This woman is really messing with your personal life and your husband's career.

[Anonymous]

Op again

The fact that she asked is someone looking at us makes me think she knew what she was doing. Drink or not she couldn't have been that drunk. DH said people has some wine with dinner but nothing crazy.

I don't blame DH. I wish he had gotten up or told her to move but I understand not knowing what to do and make it a big deal Infront of his boss.

I absolutely fault her for being inappropriate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op again

The fact that she asked is someone looking at us makes me think she knew what she was doing. Drink or not she couldn't have been that drunk. DH said people has some wine with dinner but nothing crazy.

I don't blame DH. I wish he had gotten up or told her to move but I understand not knowing what to do and make it a big deal Infront of his boss.

I absolutely fault her for being inappropriate.

Totally agree with the bolded. And glad you aren't mad at DH. Of course he SHOULD have stood up immediately or asked her to get off his lap, but I am pretty sure my DH would be so dumbfounded he would not know what to do and would just do nothing by default.

[Anonymous]

OP- has anyone said anything to him at work yet?
I have colleagues who have become close and if that happened to me, they would have asked something: "Saw X sitting on your lap. What was that about?"
If I then explained how sudden and unwanted that was to me, they'd have my back if any gossip were to start.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op again

The fact that she asked is someone looking at us makes me think she knew what she was doing. Drink or not she couldn't have been that drunk. DH said people has some wine with dinner but nothing crazy.

I don't blame DH. I wish he had gotten up or told her to move but I understand not knowing what to do and make it a big deal Infront of his boss.

I absolutely fault her for being inappropriate.

Your husband is in the wrong for not shutting shit down. Would he also kiss her back because he doesn't want to make it a big deal and because it is in front of his boss? Women are so clueless sometimes...