School for child who is selectively highly motivated

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Really? This kid sound pretty typical for a kindergartener?? OP, lots of schools will ultimately be fine for this kid. No one special style is going to be the be-all-end-all. FWIW, my kid was exactly like this and he goes to private with small class sizes and that environment does suit him well, and the fact that they keep the learning kind of "hidden" within hands-on learning projects (so they do a lot of store activities to learn about money values rather than just worksheets about coins or whatever) in the early years also suits him well. So if you can find small class sizes, go for it. I don't think you need to homeschool....

OP here. I agree that this is pretty typical for a kindergartener. However, for my child, these behaviors are more extreme. I know this to be the case because my child's kindergarten teacher, who is very experienced, has told me that he is off the charts in terms of being independent minded, stubborn, and hyper focused. She also thinks that he could be gifted.

Other kids pay attention when the teacher gives them one on one attention. My child keeps doing what he is doing. Other children are excited to show the teacher that they can learn what the teacher wants to teach. My child has his own agenda for what he wants to learn. Other children follow the norms of the classroom (put away your things, etc) while my child doesnt' want to stop doing what he is doing to put away his things. Other children finish with one activity after 20 minutes. My child wants to work for three hours straight on one activity (of his choosing).

Yes, I know he sounds like a brat. I do think he is a bit of a brat. But he was born that way!

And DH is the same way. I am a 'people pleaseer' on the other hand. Example: At a recent parenting workshop, the trainers started off with a fun quiz with silly buzzer buttons to pique people's interest in the topics they were planning to discuss. Since it was a quiz, I grabbed a buzzer and started answering the questions (excited to show what I know). DH said "why are we doing a quiz?" and did not engage.

Have you asked your son what he thinks of his teacher? It could be, like my DH that he ignores people who he doesn't deem smart enough to be listened to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Really? This kid sound pretty typical for a kindergartener?? OP, lots of schools will ultimately be fine for this kid. No one special style is going to be the be-all-end-all. FWIW, my kid was exactly like this and he goes to private with small class sizes and that environment does suit him well, and the fact that they keep the learning kind of "hidden" within hands-on learning projects (so they do a lot of store activities to learn about money values rather than just worksheets about coins or whatever) in the early years also suits him well. So if you can find small class sizes, go for it. I don't think you need to homeschool....

OP here. I agree that this is pretty typical for a kindergartener. However, for my child, these behaviors are more extreme. I know this to be the case because my child's kindergarten teacher, who is very experienced, has told me that he is off the charts in terms of being independent minded, stubborn, and hyper focused. She also thinks that he could be gifted.

Other kids pay attention when the teacher gives them one on one attention. My child keeps doing what he is doing. Other children are excited to show the teacher that they can learn what the teacher wants to teach. My child has his own agenda for what he wants to learn. Other children follow the norms of the classroom (put away your things, etc) while my child doesnt' want to stop doing what he is doing to put away his things. Other children finish with one activity after 20 minutes. My child wants to work for three hours straight on one activity (of his choosing).

Yes, I know he sounds like a brat. I do think he is a bit of a brat. But he was born that way!

And DH is the same way. I am a 'people pleaseer' on the other hand. Example: At a recent parenting workshop, the trainers started off with a fun quiz with silly buzzer buttons to pique people's interest in the topics they were planning to discuss. Since it was a quiz, I grabbed a buzzer and started answering the questions (excited to show what I know). DH said "why are we doing a quiz?" and did not engage.

Then if you have access to a strong program, I guess I would try Montessori since it struck me as the most independent, where kids could focus on what they wanted to for longer, but it is also sufficiently active for the gifted child.

[Anonymous]

Sounds just like my son who has inattentive ADHD. Have him evaluated by a Neuropsychologist. There are lots of options, but we used Stefano and Associates. They will even give you recommendations of schools based on the outcomes. You may also want to post this on the special needs forum and/or the private school forum.

FWIW, my DS did fine in a traditional classroom...with lots of nagging though. He is a junior in HS now and has a 4.1 GPA.