Siblings moving to the same area

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My sisters and I live on the same piece of property. We each have about five acres or so. Our kids are more like siblings than cousins. My parents live about 4 miles up the road. I would not trade it for the world.

I would love this. I've been trying to convince my parents to move into a "compound" with us, but they won't leave their home of 40 years.

OP, do it if it makes sense for the rest of your lifestyle. In my case, my sister found an amazing job in a really depressed town -- I'm not willing to put my family there and she's not willing to leave the amazing job, and I think that's the right choice for everyone even though I'd love to live nearby. On the other hand, I grew up very near to my many cousins and I wouldn't say that we know each other well as adults -- I think they're probably neat people but I just don't feel we ever bonded despite seeing each other regularly.

[Anonymous]

DH & I are having similar conversations, OP. We live in MoCo area, which is where DH's three sisters are. We see them a fair amount, everyone gets along and they are great aunts to our kid. But their kids are all older and most of them are not interested in having a relationship with their cousin.

My family is 6 hours away, all in the same town. My siblings have little kids, four in all, and they all love to be together. We probably take 4-5 trips a year to visit, but it's usually just long weekends.

We are thinking about moving there, because our kid is an only and we think it would be good for him to be around his cousins. But it's a big risk for many reasons. Professionally, everything would change (less $$, DH is looking at starting up his own biz). Plus, I love my siblings and we generally all get along, but we do parent differently and I have two SILs who don't work, so sometimes that can cause stress.

On top of this, my mom is older and has health issues, and we have a disabled brother, who will need some kind of care when she goes. He lives with her right now.

So, lots to consider. Sometimes, I think it would be a great idea, and other times, I think how much I love the distance among us.

[Anonymous]

We moved close to DHs parents and brothers last summer. They knew we were coming to the area a few years before it happened. Immediately after we arrived we found out one was leaving and a few months later we found out the other was leaving.

One of the families actually seems interested. The other, not so much and the parents may be thinking we are the only ones who will be around in a few months. When we lived out of the area, DHs parents made very little effort.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, don't do it. We moved to DC area because of DH's siblings; I am an only child. In the last 5 years, we've seen his brother and sister exactly 3 times. 3! We live 20 minutes from each other. DH is very disappointed but it is what it is.

Something similar happened to us. We were hoping we would get to see my sibling a bit more, maybe every a couple of months or so...but we've gone from once or twice a year to maybe three or so times a year. It's disapointing, but their loss. They are very controlling, on the whole, so getting together is not as fun as we thought it would be anyhow.

Make sure you and your siblings on the same page before you move.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My siblings and I went our separate ways after high school. We each make it a point to talk to all of our siblings at least once a month, but it's not enough. We'd like to move to the same area so that our kids can grow up together. Has anyone thought about doing the same thing or actually has done it?

I have a twin brother. While there were moments after high school where we lived separately, we have both been in the same area for about 10 years now. He is 10 minutes down the road. He has a new son and I have a new daughter.

We are extremely close and it works out great for us.

You're TWINS. It's not the same as most sibling relationships.

Agreed to an extent.

Which, is why, I posted later that we can't really give good advice unless OP comes back and tells us a little more about their family dynamic.

Very close siblings are more of an exception. Most people are not close enough to commit to a family move in order to stay in touch. They're more like PP's family who have seen each other 3 times in the past years. I only know one family where parents and children live in very close proximity, and sadly, this adds to the dysfunction. I don't know many twins, maybe it's different for them.