Consequence for a poor report card
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Anonymous
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Here is what we do for consequences:
First - we have a rule (with consequences) that all homework must be turned in. No screens until done (and losing screens if not done consistently). No parties, no hanging out with friends (yes to sports and activities). The problem, OP, is that you should have been doing these consequences all along - because it's hard later - nothing will feel good enough. We also take away allowance (I'm sure this is controversial but school is my kids' job so that's how we do it). We don't have consequences for poor test results since that is hard to control except requiring more study time. Again, OP - you should have been monitoring this all along so that when he failed first test, you can require more study time. Then, basically take away anything else the kid likes. Mine likes social stuff, but you could also take away video games, trips for ice cream or movies, or money or whatever. You have to find something they care about.... |
Anonymous
A 'B' is a perfectly fine grade. Not every child (or parent) is aspiring to go to some overpriced selective school. I am perfectly fine with my child attending UMD, and if the grades don't get him into there, then he can attend community college, trade school, or go to work. If the child wants to go to a more selective school, then he can step up and get better grades. Locking a child in his room with no privileges for not achieving an A average is horribly cruel. The only punishment he gets for a B is that he doesn't earn the privilege of borrowing $100k to go to school with spoiled rich kids. |
Anonymous
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OP - I read your post again and I think you might be sort of approaching this wrong. I have a high school kid - not sure every poster here does or not.
But, I don't think it's fair or right or even a good idea to be hands off all quarter and just punish if your kid ends up with failing grades. It's not going to work because there is nothing you can take away from your high school kid to get him to fix this problem. You know that right? Maybe your kid has some needs (which you might be willing to concede since you have previously got him coaches or tutors or whatever) and he needs your help during the quarter to prioritize, encourage compliance etc, and generally assist. Or maybe you need to work on positive reinforcement, which is really a much better system. So, paying for grades or buying screen time with grades or working towards a reward (trip to NYC or whatever he might like). But, again, not giving rewards at end of the quarter - maybe each week after checking edline you give rewards if homework is done and tests taken? I don't think you will find much support for doing nothing to help all semester and then punishing your kid for doing nothing all semester. I definitely don't think that will improve his grades or make your point. |
Anonymous
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My mother made me re-do an entire quarters worth of work once. It was only for one class, that I'd done poorly in, mostly because I'd been sloppy.
She made me pull out all the graded work, and she sat next to me at the dining room table, while I re-did it ALL. She knew I could learn it all, I just clearly needed the focus. It was humiliating because I knew I was better than that. She let me cry a bit but stuck to her "punishment". From then on, I asked for help if I needed it, and made sure to get my stuff done so I never had to do that again! |
Anonymous
+1000 |
Anonymous
Awesome mom. 
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Anonymous
There are a lot of kids who have trouble transitioning from the fun activities to the work activities -- in fact, we adults have trouble with that too sometimes. How many kids flunk out or nearly flunk out of freshman year at college b/c they played too many video games or couldn't say no to any social invites? Lots. The good news is that your kid IS capable. He probably just needs more structure. Does he have a daily schedule for when he does homework and when he can play? Or is it just up to him? A lot of kids can't handle that much freedom. I think the "punishment" has to be more about adding structure with schedule, reducing distractions (i.e. electronics or girlfriend or whatever), and some level of accountability (like you have a mtg on Tues nights where he shows you what is due that week or what tests he has -- so that you know he is actually writing that stuff down and he has to answer "when will you be doing ____ project or studying for ___ test." Better to hand-hold this now so that he is in the habit for college. |
Anonymous
Yes, someone previously mentioned a rubber hose. You chose to ignore. Is that what you're looking for. Go ahead, make your kid miserable. That'll learn em. |
Anonymous
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I've monitored all year this and last and the years before that. I've reminded, used the agenda, supported his after school quest for help....allll that stuff. He's not social. He's busy but not too busy. He made straight As last year and he's back up with all A's and all turned in now. He stopped doing much of anything and started fooling around. He was reminded to get it together and everything was here and at school for him including a reward system and support. He turned some things around on his own but the comments beside the grades indicate that this guy is messing up.
Screens off except for school. He's focusing and doing a bit better. Grades are up. He is required to perform at his potential. His schedule is perfect for him. He can deliver all As and an occasional B. He can and he is ...now. Screens off. He will learn to relax in his down time, stop waiting until the last minute, and quit avoiding what he needs to do. Lesson learned and screens will be added in a little bit over the weekends. I guess I was looking for good ideas and how you manage this kind of thing in your home. |