Consequence for a poor report card

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We dished out punishments for my teen earning Bs in a class, for things like forgetting to turn in an assignment that was worth 10% of the grade.

Dropping a comfortable A grade down to a B, not because of issues with the material or test scores but because of carelessness is worthy of losing screen time in my opinion.

We are with you on this, although the punishments are along the way and not when the grades show up.

In this case the missing assignment was due the final week of the quarter and the zero did not post to sis until after grades were turned in and finalized

Imagine our surprise when what had been an upper 90s Aup until the last Tuesday of the quarter showed up as a B+ when grades were posted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with those who say for you to get more involved. It amazes me how many parents think it's their kids job to figure it all out. Help him organize if necessary. Ask about his homework, read a paper, whatever it takes to show that he must be accountable and that you are interested. Lots of students think the straight A kids are super smart. They're not, they simply work harder.

OP is not talking about an elementary kid.

By junior high this kind of monitoring shoukd not be occuring daily. Parents should be around weekly check ins with the kid about their graees and assignments.

OPs kidnis in high school.

If you are supervising your high school student's schoolwork at the level you are describing then something has gone wrong along the way.

It is a good learning experience for them to be (almost) on their own with school work by high school with crack downs whe they fail to be responsible, to prepare them for college when they need to be totally self sufficient and no one even checks if they come to class or turns in the one non test assignment that is due all semester.

[Anonymous]

The consequence is he has to get it up. If this whole thread is about one B+, I'm sorry I even read it.

[Anonymous]

I'm the OP.

I'm asking about the consequence. What do you as a parent issue as a consequence at your house when grades aren't good? At one point he had two Fs, 1 D, 2 Cs. No! Just NO!

Answer the question about the consequence please. That's all.

(I've taught organizational skills. He's had a tutor and an educational coach. He stayed after school once and didn't want his teachers to know he was messing up. Everyone knew because his grades were awful for a while. He's totally capable. He Di d terrific about midway throughthe 9 weeks to the end but the grades he had messed up couldn't be recovered by the time he decided to get it together. He has no issue, no limitation, no lack of oversight, no need for more parenting. He hasn't done his part and he messed up. He deserves a consequence that will help him focus on doing better the WHOLE 9 weeks for himself. We have watched every single grade on SIS and given him every chance. He chose to do poorly by failing to do what he knew to do! He had all A's last year and JR National Honor Society this year. I'm telling you he messed up and will be punished. My question was about that.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The consequence is he has to get it up. If this whole thread is about one B+, I'm sorry I even read it.

Just telling him to get it up isn't a consequence. I've taken all screens except for supervised use with school work. He's been given many chances and plenty of supervision. He chose to mess up. Now what do you do at your house when grades are poor? Not in high school yet either. It's work ethic and putting a problem and a solution together that he isn't doing yet. Exhausting. Time for a consequence!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The consequence is he has to get it up. If this whole thread is about one B+, I'm sorry I even read it.

Just telling him to get it up isn't a consequence. I've taken all screens except for supervised use with school work. He's been given many chances and plenty of supervision. He chose to mess up. Now what do you do at your house when grades are poor? Not in high school yet either. It's work ethic and putting a problem and a solution together that he isn't doing yet. Exhausting. Time for a consequence!

Is it really just one B+ you are talking about?

We have always focussed on process: turning in work on time, keeping tabs on assignments, studying before the last minute... then we let the grades be wherever they land. Mostly A's some B+s at this point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No his potential. Careless kid stuff like not attempting make up opportunities, waiting until the last minute, failure to follow directions. Totally capable and not a good report card because of effort.

We've taken away screens except for school work.

Weigh in? Something needs to be in place to help make doing better the only option here.

Reward....for pulling them up now until June. I've just implemented this with my DD and it's working and I got on DCUM to answer that other post re non-motivated 14 y.o. DD, so my answer in more detail will be on that post.

[Anonymous]

He got Ds and Fs up to As and one B+ over the course of the semester?

The punishment was due at the time the grades were bad, not after he mended his ways and did the work to bring them up.

I was not entirely for or against the idea of a punishment when you first posted. But reading your recent posts is making me scratch my head.

[Anonymous]

I wonder if his goal is to make his mom lose her grip. (Teens bite off their noses to spite their faces all the time.)

If I'm right, he is getting an A.

[Anonymous]

No consequences at our house. OP is your son burned out or does he have too many demands? Did he really bring his grades up from c d and f? I would take him out to dinner to celebrate those! And not say anything punitive about the other. Consider talking to teacher about revising the grade or just emphasize to son that it's a shame his hard work didn't get rewarded due to late assignment. How can ilate assignment drop the grade so much?

[Anonymous]

OP here.

Nevermind.

I'm not sure why I asked anyway. Are there no families left who demand better and punish when they don't get better? It's not me. It's not the teacher. It's not a B. It's not doing right and sitting in the consequence so that it doesn't happen again.

Yes, things are better now. And there was outside play and a clean room this afternoon instead of iPad and mind numbing game time on some screen this afternoon.

Low scores, high potential, all resources in place, kid doesn't do right, punishment. The end.

I was seeking the answer to what you do at your house. Post that? Does anyone have a comment about that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No consequences at our house. OP is your son burned out or does he have too many demands? Did he really bring his grades up from c d and f? I would take him out to dinner to celebrate those! And not say anything punitive about the other. Consider talking to teacher about revising the grade or just emphasize to son that it's a shame his hard work didn't get rewarded due to late assignment. How can ilate assignment drop the grade so much?

A few zeros and a few 100s still make a 50. There's time to practice his instrument and study for tests with no screens to distract him. Looking forward to that 3rd 9 weeks report card!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

Nevermind.

I'm not sure why I asked anyway. Are there no families left who demand better and punish when they don't get better? It's not me. It's not the teacher. It's not a B. It's not doing right and sitting in the consequence so that it doesn't happen again.

Yes, things are better now. And there was outside play and a clean room this afternoon instead of iPad and mind numbing game time on some screen this afternoon.

Low scores, high potential, all resources in place, kid doesn't do right, punishment. The end.

I was seeking the answer to what you do at your house. Post that? Does anyone have a comment about that?

As a teenager if I had an average that was less than an A, I was grounded until the next quarter and my grades went up. I never found out what the consequence was if they didn't go up, because I always pulled them up. I was allowed to do my sport activity (I only did one sport at a time, nothing like soccer, and dance, and this that and the other all at once). Part of that reasoning is that my sport was what got me a scholarship and also that it's not right to punish/hurt my team because I didn't do well off then field. Grounding was no phone, no computer, no social activites. I would cry, but it worked. don't coddle your kid. There's no excuse for terrible grades.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

Nevermind.

I'm not sure why I asked anyway. Are there no families left who demand better and punish when they don't get better? It's not me. It's not the teacher. It's not a B. It's not doing right and sitting in the consequence so that it doesn't happen again.

Yes, things are better now. And there was outside play and a clean room this afternoon instead of iPad and mind numbing game time on some screen this afternoon.

Low scores, high potential, all resources in place, kid doesn't do right, punishment. The end.

I was seeking the answer to what you do at your house. Post that? Does anyone have a comment about that?

OK, so are you angry at us, too?

I have noticed that when I parent in a way that makes my son feel diminished, his grades suffer. If your problem is too much screen time interfering with life, then my parenting advice: don't do that and it should have been limited long ago. If your problem is zeros: closer attention along the way to make that work get done before it is too late. Handle it without yelling. If your problem is you are angry all the time, then I got nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

Nevermind.

I'm not sure why I asked anyway. Are there no families left who demand better and punish when they don't get better? It's not me. It's not the teacher. It's not a B. It's not doing right and sitting in the consequence so that it doesn't happen again.

Yes, things are better now. And there was outside play and a clean room this afternoon instead of iPad and mind numbing game time on some screen this afternoon.

Low scores, high potential, all resources in place, kid doesn't do right, punishment. The end.

I was seeking the answer to what you do at your house. Post that? Does anyone have a comment about that?

As a teenager if I had an average that was less than an A, I was grounded until the next quarter and my grades went up. I never found out what the consequence was if they didn't go up, because I always pulled them up. I was allowed to do my sport activity (I only did one sport at a time, nothing like soccer, and dance, and this that and the other all at once). Part of that reasoning is that my sport was what got me a scholarship and also that it's not right to punish/hurt my team because I didn't do well off then field. Grounding was no phone, no computer, no social activites. I would cry, but it worked. don't coddle your kid. There's no excuse for terrible grades.

Thank you! Agree!! No excuse and he's already doing better. He didn't take much screen time in the first place but now he's less stressed and more focused. Thanks for your comment!