Seeking attorney to help us with bullying problem at FCPS

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your child needs to learn to stand up for himself. He should also avoid any situations where he is Alone with the bully. I'm curious about the physical abuse you claim as schools seem pretty crowded and I can't imagine too many situations where the bully is able to physically abuse your child without others being present. Besides the physical abuse, the rest is just words and I can't imagine necessitate a lawyer. Are you going to go and hire a lawyer for every problem your child faces?

Is an option calling the police if the physical abuse continues? Can you let the school know if the bully isn't kept from beating up your son you have no options but to document the abuse and call the cops?

I do wonder if that would work. You could get a restraining order if needed and the school would have to comply.

[Anonymous]

You need to be more specific about physical abuse. Bite marks? Bruises? Cuts? Push? Slap?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your child needs to learn to stand up for himself. He should also avoid any situations where he is Alone with the bully. I'm curious about the physical abuse you claim as schools seem pretty crowded and I can't imagine too many situations where the bully is able to physically abuse your child without others being present. Besides the physical abuse, the rest is just words and I can't imagine necessitate a lawyer. Are you going to go and hire a lawyer for every problem your child faces?

Is an option calling the police if the physical abuse continues? Can you let the school know if the bully isn't kept from beating up your son you have no options but to document the abuse and call the cops?

I do wonder if that would work. You could get a restraining order if needed and the school would have to comply.

NP here. Friend's son (elementary) was being physically bullied by another boy; the parents, after going through school channels first, ended up writing a letter to the superintendent including the firm statement that they would call the cops to the school the moment another incident happened. They were very clear that the police would be involved (and they meant it; it was no idle threat). The school suddenly separated the bully from their son in all classes, teachers suddenly started paying attention on the playground to which kids were playing near other kids etc. It took a clear statement that the parents would involve police for action to happen at last. Wish I could tell OP how that letter was worded because it worked but the whole situation and attempts to be understanding toward the bully just wore out the victim's family so much. So they just decided to be "that family" and say they no longer cared what the school thought of them--they were that done with it all.

[Anonymous]

OP, you say this has been going on since K. Are the kids in the same class? Why?

Does the bully bother other kids, as well? A PP said that the bully may have an IEP--sounds likely to me. But, that does not excuse him. Is it possible that bully's parents are bullying the school?

It seems to me that if he is only bullying your son--and, if he is the only one doing it, then you may have a more difficult time proving it--unless you can cite very specific examples and times of when your son was hurt. However, unless you have been specific in the past, it may be more difficult to stand up for him. I would keep a daily record. But, by doing this, you are hyperfocusing on the bad behavior and that might not be good for your son (asking him as soon as he comes in the door how he was treated magnifies the problem.
Whatever you do, try to help your son understand that he does not need to put up with him=--and that it is not his fault.

Be prepared however, Bully kids frequently have bully parents and they may retaliate in some manner and blame your son.

From the way you have described the situation, it might be best for your child to drop the issue and find him another school. You really don't want him focused on this, if possible. He deserves some peace.

[Anonymous]

Does OP's child have no friends at his current school? If there really is a bully here, the OP's kid should not suffer the consequences. What has happened to telling the parents of a bully that their child either stops or faces expulsion?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our fifth grader has been tormented by the same bully since kindergarten. This includes numerous physical assaults as well as all manner of psychological abuse, and has escalated significantly in the past month. The parents do not believe in discipline, and the school has done very little beyond providing "support" to the bully and requiring that the kids not sit together. This is severely impacting our son, who is the smallest kid in his grade and has significant anxiety and other medical issues, but does not have an IEP. We are looking for a lawyer who knows FCPS and can help us navigate the system and determine how to use the conduct code (Student Rights and Responsibilities) and any regulations or statutes to push for remedies.

Perhaps an attorney who has represented kids with disabilities and/or kids in disciplinary proceedings could help us.

Thank you.

Where is this happening? I have to assume they're not in the same class since this has been happening since Kindergarten and you say the school requires that the kids don't sit together. So when do kids who aren't in the same class cross paths? Lunch? Recess? Bus? What does the psychological abuse consist of?

I teach at a middle school and almost every time we have a student complaining about bullying, they detail that it happens between classes. There's never a teacher around and it never happens in class. But that's middle school where there's constant class changes and lots of opportunities to seek out a target without anyone knowing or seeing you. I'm trying to figure out when an elementary school kid would be able to bully another kid if they're not in the same class together. I'm not saying it's not happening. I'm just looking for clarification.

[Anonymous]

1) Document everything.

2) If the school does not respond to your complete satisfaction, then explain to the administration that you plan to file charges against the bully and the adminrators for failing to protect your child by notifiying the Fairfax County Police Department. Cite FCPS's Students' Rights and Responsibilities section about student safety.

3) In my experience and observation, FCPS administrators opt to do nothing about bullying unless the student is the child of an 'important' person. They tend to not bother about making an effort to prevent bullying because it doesn't bring them any tangible gains and because the bullying atmosphere is rather pervasive in the DC area, so they are a bit numb to it. It is worse if your student is white and the other student is non-white. White students getting bullied will get no help.

[Anonymous]

What is the great school rating, is the bully a minority or illegal

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is the great school rating, is the bully a minority or illegal

Are you suggesting there are no white kids who are bullies? I went to a school with predominantly white kids and there were bullies who happened to be white. Why make this about race or immigration status?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the great school rating, is the bully a minority or illegal

Are you suggesting there are no white kids who are bullies? I went to a school with predominantly white kids and there were bullies who happened to be white. Why make this about race or immigration status?

There have always been bullies. I remember that from my own growing up. I taught all colors, and bullies --and victims--come in all colors of the rainbow.

OP. someone suggested that you document. This is very important. But, it must be specific--not just that xxx was "mean" to "yyy" You must give examples and dates.

You said that he psychologically abuses your son--to me that is harder to deal with than the physical bullying because it is harder to prove. However, it can also be far more hurtful.

Unless you have very specific instances, it is difficult for the school to do anything. I would also like to know where in the school this is happening.

[Anonymous]

OP has not even posted again. Probably a troll.

[Anonymous]

FCPS passes along pedo teachers to other districts - you really think they care about bullying?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it possible the bully has an IEP and that is influencing the school's inaction?

I wish you well. Bullying is horrible.

This IEP issue was my thought too. OR... the bully's parents also bully the administrators.

Good luck, OP!

[Anonymous]

OP, a letter to the school board often gets quick action too.

[Anonymous]

Get every man in your extended family and all your male friends... Fly them in and put them in black suits. Rent some black Lincoln town cars . In preparation , study the bully's routine . When he's alone pull the cars up , surround the bully and push him around a little. Tell him that your kid is in a mafia family and if he wants to keep his family safe he better keep his fucking distance from your kid. This is his one and only warning.

Then have a big barbecue and beer party after and fly them all home.