I'm a nervous wreck! Daughter only wants to attend college in London

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Studying and living in London will be a fabulous experience. It will feel much more cosmopolitan and international than even NYC, partly because the London universities are very diverse with a large quotient of international / EU students. I would not hesitate to send a child to the UK for university, either London or outside London.

However, a few things to consider.

1. The three schools you mentioned (University College, King's College, and Imperial College) are all top ranked British universities and admissions is stiff. Don't be fooled by their relatively higher admissions rates than top American schools because in Britain schools will generally only allow the qualified to apply to the top schools, it's not a case of weaker applicants tossing in an application just for the sake of it and hoping for the best, so the application pool will be stellar to start with. There are many universities in London so if she's dedicated on London she should have several safeties and back ups as well, although if you're paying full tuition charged to international students that will give her a leg up in the admissions.

2. The British university experience is quite different. Three years rather than four (Scotland goes four years but she's not considering Scottish schools). The London universities are urban based campuses, you won't get the beautiful quads and colleges of Oxford/Cambridge, or the traditional American university. Students will study their course and their course alone. So if she wants to study history, she will apply for a history course, and if admitted, study nothing but history (to clarify, you don't just apply to Kings or Imperial, you apply to study a particular course at King's or Imperial). This does give you a certain advantage because there are less popular courses at the top schools and if your daughter is flexible with her interest she can find a less popular course and apply to to it, upping her chances of admissions if she only cares about being at a certain school in London. But it's also more than that. There is far less hands holding in British universities, students literally hit the ground running with less administrative or faculty support, especially at the top universities. Once fresher's week is over, you are expected to take full responsibility of your education and what you get out of it will be what you put into it. UK grading standards are also fairly high and final grades for the class based almost entirely on the final exam and a paper, so it's not uncommon for people to flunk out of universities if they didn't take their studies seriously and partied all the time. They're less forgiving of students who didn't take their studies seriously and flunked their exams.

3. The good news is that the education costs will likely be cheaper, even with overseas tuition. Three years versus four!

4. As you know, Britain is shortly to begin the process of withdrawing from the EU. Immigration laws will drastically change in the next several years and they have already tightened up in the last five years. Immigration is a huge issue in the UK right now. This won't affect your daughter's status as an overseas student but in the not too distant past it was quite easy for an international graduate of a UK university to work in the country afterwards through policies that allowed this for a certain number of years, and people managed to hold on long enough to get permanent leave (five years' residency, I think) and with that the passport. This is no longer the case. Only PhD level students now have this option available. I bring this up to show that it won't be as easy for your daughter to stay in London after graduation as it may have been in the past. If she's a stellar student recruited by a major firm (consulting, finance etc) they will probably make it happen but she would have to be dedicated on that track. Of course she could always marry a nice English boy

5. While I understand the London or bust mentality, there's a lot more to the UK than London. Edinburgh is a fabulous place to study and Edinburgh U is excellent. St. Andrews in Scotland is another popular option for American students. Both are four years, which gives her another year in the UK. And there are many more universities across England that will give her a more "English" experience than London. Just a thought.

This was extremely helpful; thank you for your input.

[Anonymous]

I lived in London and attended classes there for a year and loved it. Be prepared for the cost though. Very expensive!

[Anonymous]

It if was my DD, my concerns would be that she is underestimating her homesicknesses, misunderstanding her ability to come home and visit, costs and how much spending money she might have.

Is she going to be able to fly home for for every holiday? If that is not the case, you should explain that up front. She needs to really think about how she would feel to be alone on a holiday and where she would stay if staying the dorm is not an option (not sure about UK, in the US, some schools don't allow students to remain in the dorms over break or even if they do may charge extra)

Spending money/costs. Does she understand the exchange rate and the current costs associated with living in London? She might want to do a quick conversion of $20 into pounds and then figure out how far that $20 is going to go.

I get it. I visited London when I was 12 and was smitten and wanted to go to school and move there but I was able to understand it was cost prohibitive and it was going to be a culture change despite the fact they speak English and it appears on the surface to be a lot like the US.

[Anonymous]

Mine is at U of Edinburgh and loves it. Edinburgh is much easier to manage for undergrad. It is safe, walkable, beautiful, all around wonderful city for college students (there are 4 unis in the city). You also get a choice of outside subjects in the first 2 years. That will not be an option in London.

How are your DD's stats? Does she have 3-5 APs with a 5? UCL and Imperial will want those. Look carefully at minimum requirement, as they are non-negotiable. And visit!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Think about it this way: it is faster and easier to get to London (from the DC area) than to many places in CA.

This. It's nearly the same distance by plane but a heck of a lot easier to get around once you disembark.

I'm originally from CA. My DH from UK. We go to both CA and UK often. Flight to UK is about 7 hr. Flight to CA is 5 hrs. Plus, you have customs to go through in the UK. As far as distance is concerned, CA is better.

Having stated that, I would obviously be ok with my kids going to London for college and would even encourage it. OP - did you know that for the most part, undergrads can graduate in 3 years in the UK, instead of 4?

[Anonymous]

Just curious- what is the safe college in California? That is where my dc wants to head and I am nervous about that.

[Anonymous]

I think it's fabulous that your daughter wants to do something outside the norm. I wouldn't worry about job prospects; I think companies will value her individuality and initiative.

I also wouldn't worry about the distance or overseas factor. I went 900 miles away to school (pre-internet. In fact, pre- free long distance phone calls). It's kind of like being dumped into the deep end of the pool, but it's also an incredible experience, and you come out feeling really self-confident. I wouldn't put every kid in this position, but the fact that she's so excited tells me she'll be fine. You're looking at it through your own viewpoint, which makes it hard to understand. (That's not supposed to sound like criticism, btw; just a fact).

It also sounds like you'll be fine too - even though you're worried, you aren't holding her back. Good for you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just curious- what is the safe college in California? That is where my dc wants to head and I am nervous about that.

Scripps after ruling out Occidental.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just curious- what is the safe college in California? That is where my dc wants to head and I am nervous about that.

Scripps after ruling out Occidental.

I heard that school is very nice!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP here.

I forgot about 6.

6. Be careful about the value of British university degrees in the US. I cannot tell you what kind of impact it may have. It may hurt, it may not hurt, it may even help with the right employer. But if she already plans to go straight to graduate school, then this is a moot concern.

I am an American with a European degree. In fact, was in Europe by myself when my parents lived in DC during 9/11. I was way safer and felt safer. I have always gotten great jobs/hired on the spot at pretigious name companies. I did do a master's degree right away when I cam back to the US because my parents worried about the value of my degree. It has never been an issue.

I think you need to think hard about holding your child back in life because you are scared of something. This would be a great opportunity for her and if Daddy is paying and you aren't, you might not get much of a say.

[Anonymous]

One more thing about British schools...they seem much more writing intensive than US schools...and it can be rather tricky to switch majors

[Anonymous]

10:47's post is right on. My DS really wanted to go to school in London and was sure his major would be biology.

He ended up not going to the UK for lots of reasons. He just finished his first semester at a US SLAC and wants nothing to do with biology ever again.

A UK university is not the place you go to "find yourself." You have to go in a particular program.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:10:47's post is right on. My DS really wanted to go to school in London and was sure his major would be biology.

He ended up not going to the UK for lots of reasons. He just finished his first semester at a US SLAC and wants nothing to do with biology ever again.

A UK university is not the place you go to "find yourself." You have to go in a particular program.

DC has several friends in the UK who ended up not really liking their course of study but it's very difficult to switch. On the plus side, most of them don't seem to have jobs that have anything to do with their "major". Many grads go on the "grad schemes" which are basically job training programs.

[Anonymous]

Op i am from London. My first BF went to UCL. The colleges you list are excellent. And you have had a lot of helpful imput i wont repeat. However, there is one aspect of studying in London which no one has mentioned. Its harder socially for London university students. The city is huge and often the campuses are scattered. She wont get the sense she is enclosed in a college world at all. Of course there are student residences and some student union buildings (with bars etc) but there is not the all encompassing "we are all here at college together" experience. You have to really make an effort, join groups like rowing or whatever. The social aspect isnt just automatic and at your fingertips. So starting out can feel disproportionately lonely, though it does improve.

[Anonymous]

It's not fair to weigh her down with your anxieties. You need to find the capacity to support her sense of adventure and show some pride in her growing independence. Don't squash her sense of her own passions and preferences.

Check your emotion and help her try to understand the pros, cons, and likely day-to-day experiences. Does she have previous experiences to help her understand what being an ocean away from home for an extended time will be like? What excites her about hoing to a London college that can't be had with a semester abroad or holding off on foreign study until graduate school? Consider with her all those pros and cons raised by posters above.

Knowing something she wants to do now, even if she doesn't know the end point is a good thing, just as valid as the choice of major for people who have a clear and strong prefence on that decision.

If she does go forward with a London college, support her through the process. Don't jump on cold feet or homesickness as justification of your anxieties; instead, help her get past those things so that she can succeed in getting the experience she seeks.

As you know, what you should really be a nervous wreck about is her having the experience of being told her wants are less important than what others want from her.