Family members started discussing last wills and testaments RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF CHRISTMAS DINNER!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not discussing it at all with my children. What's mine is mine and will be left to whomever I please according to my wishes. Not your business and certainly not a topic for the dinner table.

Right PP!! My parents never told us this stuff. First of all, what if something happens and the supposed inheritance is lost? You don't want your kids counting on money they may not get. When my mom died, they opened the will and we found out what we were left. It went well because there was no expectations for any of us.

There are important things to discuss, it's not just "who gets what." Do you have means or insurance for long-term care, nursing home, etc.? What are your end of life wishes and is that documented anywhere? Do you have a valid will, and trusts set up by a competent lawyer? Etc.

Too much family discord begins over financial end-of-life and estate issues that could have been avoided with planning and clear communication.

Seriously that is none of your business. I know it is hard to accept, but unless your parents are senile and you have POA, you just can't control what they do.
My mom kept her long term care stuff separate from her will. My mom was an extremely organized person that thought ahead..I realize that a lot of people aren't like this. A living will is separate from a regular will. This is why you have an executor PP and you discuss this with him and your lawyer.

What? You are jumping to a lot of erroneous conclusions based on my comment. Personally, I didn't ask my parents about any of this, try to control their decisions, or even give any input; they chose to share the information because they felt it was important for their adult children to know.

My point was that too many people don't plan ahead (which you said in your reply, so...). As a result, their loved ones are left with a lot of unnecessary pain and complication. IMO it's good for families to get in the habit of open communication about these issues, since we'll all get old and die someday. That's all I was saying - you may disagree, but that doesn't mean I'm advocating controlling people and getting in their business. I am clearly not.

+1
Something seems a bit off with PP, I'm not sure she's planning on even inviting her children to her funeral, which she has undoubtedly planned, because it's private and none of their business.

[Anonymous]

We had the same discussion. It can be difficult to have everyone in the same town, much less the same house and the same table for long enough to discuss family matters. Didn't seem morbid to me at all, just ensuring everyone knows the plan and that if there are questions, better to discuss them with everyone present.

[Anonymous]

Be happy they are discussing it at all. My in laws refuse to discuss this with their children and so no one knows their plans or wishes. They don't even know who the executor would be (although they are guessing it's their uncle who is an attorney but what if he dies?). My parents on the other hand have been very open about their plans, we all know where all of the documentation is, etc and I'm sure it will make that one thing less difficult for us when the time comes.

[Anonymous]

my mom did that last year -- and i was pregnant. talking about who my kids were going to live with and all. she was shitfaced. i asked her several times to stop and she wouldn't shut the F up. i was crying towards the end. finally my dad and husband were like "SHUT UP." and then of course she got pissed off and nasty. family........fun times.