How do you do it with 2 working parents?

[Anonymous]

Took a less demanding, more flexible and less interesting job. Do not regret for a second. Things are not perfect of course but DC is doing great and I really think if I hadn't done what I did early in childhood DC would not be where he is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a flexible schedule with my job. But it is still tough. I do so much driving to therapies: speech, OT and tutoring right now. But we used to also do behavioral therapy. You just have to prioritize things. What are his biggest deficits that need therapy right now? If it's speech, then that is the most important. Send the nanny to the other appointments if you can only do one appointment a week.

...I also got a mobile hot spot so I can sit in the waiting room and work while my child did his OT and speech. This helped my stress level so I didn't walk back into a shit storm of work when I got back online.

Not the OP, but this is such a good idea. I should invest in one.

My kiddo isn't ASD, but there we have 4x a week worth of therapies, plus lots of doctors' appointments. Putting EVERYTHING on my work Google calendar and making that shareable with my spouse has been huge. We're able to see everything that's happening with our schedule and our kid's schedule so we're not accidentally double booking and making our professional lives hell. Having a spouse that is willing to switch off on appointments (we literally look at what's coming down the line and split 50/50) is critical; I couldn't have done it if we had fallen into outdated traditional norms of the mom having to juggle everything.

[Anonymous]

Consider yourself lucky to be able to communicate in English. Some people can't. And how lucky that you can find the resources to help your child. People who are new to the country can't and don't know how to find the resource to help their kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Consider yourself lucky to be able to communicate in English. Some people can't. And how lucky that you can find the resources to help your child. People who are new to the country can't and don't know how to find the resource to help their kids.

[Anonymous]

We also have 2 stressful, intense jobs. We worked hard to get to this point and know that the income we are generating will help DS get the therapies he needs, as well as plan for his future. He's little now so we don't know what the future holds, although we are very optimistic, so he my need financial support his whole life. If one of us quit or took a lower paying job it would impact our ability to provide all this.

We were in the same position as you a few years back. It was overwhelming and stressful on our marriage. It does get better. We have a great nanny, and all of our therapies come to our house, which was key. I can't drive all over the DC metro area, spending hours in traffic for a 30 minute therapy session where DS would scream or tantrum for over half the time. It was exhausting for all of us. Weekends are spent as a family doing fun things in the community or sports type things (trampoline park, etc). Hang in there. You're doing great.

[Anonymous]

Did same as 17:10. Took part time less interesting but set schedule job. It reached a breaking point where we could not continue in with two demanding jobs. It is best for us for now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Consider yourself lucky to be able to communicate in English. Some people can't. And how lucky that you can find the resources to help your child. People who are new to the country can't and don't know how to find the resource to help their kids.

I'm as liberal as they come, but this is so short-sighted. How is this helpful in any way? It's spiteful.

[Anonymous]

We didn't. I quit when our younger DC was hospitalized for the third time in months. Once that was resolved, I went back for a short time, but when both our children were diagnosed with special needs the same fall, it pushed us over the line. I have been home ever since. In hindsight, it looks like it was planned as we always saved my take home from time we moved in together- as a result our expenses were in line with DH's income and we had a nice cushion. However, we never planned for me to sah. In fact I remember stating something like, "I will never ever be a sahp". Life has a way of making us eat our words.

Every family has different circumstances and only they can figure out how it will work for them.