Do holiday visitors help with dishes?

[Anonymous]

We all clean up together. All the China has to be hand washed, so men bring each piece to the kitchen, scrape or put into containers, and the women wash, dry, and put away. Once the table is clear, the men get to entertain the children until the women finish in the kitchen.

[Anonymous]

Family aren't guests. That said, in our family--my side and the inlaws, help is limited to carrying dishes into the kitchen. After that, heaven help you if you are in the way.

[Anonymous]

My mother, a deb, always taught us that a hostess never begins cleaning the kitchen until the guests have left. Dishes were put in the kitchen and left until later. The mere thought of a guest doing work would be offensive-they ARE a guest!
My mother also served us our meals on fancy China and our dessert was always served in a fancy Waterford crystal cup-usually homemade pudding or something with apples. We used the sterling as our everyday ware.

I have beautiful sterling that I never use and my mom often asks why I don't put it out for my DH and kids. "They are more important than any guest" is her favorite saying.

She's a perfect lady, an amazing hostess, a great mom and a wonderful wife. Not many like her are left.

[Anonymous]

Not at our house. For our big holiday party we hire help. For regular dinners we usually wait until guests have left. If it's a big dinner I might quickly start one load as we are clearing. We don't have an open kitchen (by choice) so can close the door on it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mother, a deb, always taught us that a hostess never begins cleaning the kitchen until the guests have left. Dishes were put in the kitchen and left until later. The mere thought of a guest doing work would be offensive-they ARE a guest!
My mother also served us our meals on fancy China and our dessert was always served in a fancy Waterford crystal cup-usually homemade pudding or something with apples. We used the sterling as our everyday ware.

I have beautiful sterling that I never use and my mom often asks why I don't put it out for my DH and kids. "They are more important than any guest" is her favorite saying.

She's a perfect lady, an amazing hostess, a great mom and a wonderful wife. Not many like her are left.

Love this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My family is Italian-American and everyone helps clean up.

My family is from Hawaii. Everyone pitches in from beginning to end. Guests always bring extra food and drinks so you never have to worry about running out.

[Anonymous]

For those who hire help, is it not difficult to find help on national holidays? Where do you find such help?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a visitor I really want to help with the dishes. Small way to show appreciation and be useful. No matter what culture, put me to work!

No. RUDE, RUDE, RUDE. You do not know my kitchen and are more of a pest than a help. Stay in Living Room and behave like a guest. I do not offer to help when I am a guest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For those who hire help, is it not difficult to find help on national holidays? Where do you find such help?

It is never difficult if you are willing to pay enough. I use to work for caterera when I'm school and I would work for $25/hr (this was over 20 years ago) with a 6 hour minimum. Nowadays, it is more like $50-$60/hr. Also, I specifically stated that I did ZERO childcare, only food and cleaning kitchen and dining room.

[Anonymous]

What if you circulate holidays with the ILs - when you ware at their house you always help; but when they are at your house they never help? Do you just stop helping?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a visitor I really want to help with the dishes. Small way to show appreciation and be useful. No matter what culture, put me to work!

No. RUDE, RUDE, RUDE. You do not know my kitchen and are more of a pest than a help. Stay in Living Room and behave like a guest. I do not offer to help when I am a guest.

+1 to rude

[Anonymous]

Guest do nothing for the first 3 days. After that, they should or I would ask them to help around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a visitor I really want to help with the dishes. Small way to show appreciation and be useful. No matter what culture, put me to work!

No. RUDE, RUDE, RUDE. You do not know my kitchen and are more of a pest than a help. Stay in Living Room and behave like a guest. I do not offer to help when I am a guest.

+1 to rude

I have had broken china and crystal thanks to helpers. If I need help I will ask for it, otherwise just relax.

[Anonymous]

My DH cleans up, my job is to keep the guests out of the kitchen. You wouldn't believe how hard my job is---everyone (esp. family) is so insistent on "helping." If you want to ask if you can help, just do it once, then abide by the answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a visitor I really want to help with the dishes. Small way to show appreciation and be useful. No matter what culture, put me to work!

No. RUDE, RUDE, RUDE. You do not know my kitchen and are more of a pest than a help. Stay in Living Room and behave like a guest. I do not offer to help when I am a guest.

+1 to rude

I have had broken china and crystal thanks to helpers. If I need help I will ask for it, otherwise just relax.

Me, too. These people who relentlessly insist on helping clean need to learn some social grace.