Relatives asking if they can invite other people to vacation at our home

[Anonymous]

That doesn't seem so weird to me.

My parents live in San Diego and get far extended family/friends of family that want to visit a lot. My cousin was in the Air Force at a base several hours north of San Diego. She came down to visit my parents and also brought along several of her housemates, whom my parents had never met before. No big deal.

[Anonymous]

Not a big deal in my family. I think if you are reasonably close to the person
asking it is fine. You are free to say no if you don't want to though. I like to think that some distant relative may be hosting my kid's somewhere when they are in college or grad school. Pay it forward I guess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That doesn't seem so weird to me.

My parents live in San Diego and get far extended family/friends of family that want to visit a lot. My cousin was in the Air Force at a base several hours north of San Diego. She came down to visit my parents and also brought along several of her housemates, whom my parents had never met before. No big deal.

this is a bit difference. Its ok to say no.

[Anonymous]

I would never ever do this. I had some relatives (who I've met a few times) come to stay recently. They told
Me the day before that they were coming, complained that the towels smelled "moldy", came home early from the monuments and called me to pick them up from metro (walking distance) while my child was napping. Then they got the stomach flu and left vomit on my bathroom floor. So disgusting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That doesn't seem so weird to me.

My parents live in San Diego and get far extended family/friends of family that want to visit a lot. My cousin was in the Air Force at a base several hours north of San Diego. She came down to visit my parents and also brought along several of her housemates, whom my parents had never met before. No big deal.

this is a bit difference. Its ok to say no.

How is this t so different? OP's relative's husband (also a relative) asked to bring OP's relative's step children. They are all family.

[Anonymous]

Op, we have had tons of family and friends do this to us. We live within walking distance to 2 metros, and in a nice neighborhood. I usually say yes to all our immediate family, but outside of that I now no longer have a problem saying no because a few years ago we had a very negative experience with a friend/former co-worker of my DH who was looking for a place to crash for 2 weeks while looking for an apartment for a new job and he would never leave. We finally had to kick him out. And he left our guest room and bath in terrible condition.

I can never understand how grown people cannot stay in a hotel. If my cousin or brother or parents wanted to stay at our house, I'm so cool with that. But if my friend who I haven't seen in like 20 years from my hometown is looking for a free place to stay, free rides, free meals, on my dime, no.

[Anonymous]

I host immediate family and good friends only. Our life is hectic as is and our families and good friends understand this and are considerate guests. I am happy to stock the frig and pantry with items that my guests would like, put out fresh towels, have a clean room, change the sheets before they come, but I am not a cook or chaffeur and they will responsible for making their own breakfast and lunch and getting to and from the house to sightsee. We tell people this upfront so there is no misunderstanding.

[Anonymous]

Totally normal for us. This applies not only to relatives but to friends also. We live near DC, so no surprise a lot of people want to visit it. I have stayed in my friend's friend house in Rome, flat in London and Viena. I will repay the same for any of the visitors. I think the key with this type of visit -- you are not hosting and entertaining them, you just provide them bed and breakfast. I never thought about this and we never discussed it really, but I think this is what every one is expecting. People using your house to save money on hotel and I am glad to help them since I've been doing the same thing a lot. No biggie for me.

If you think about this scenario as hosting guest with cooking, cleaning, entertaing, then it become stressful and not enjoyable for anyone, hosts and guests.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That doesn't seem so weird to me.

My parents live in San Diego and get far extended family/friends of family that want to visit a lot. My cousin was in the Air Force at a base several hours north of San Diego. She came down to visit my parents and also brought along several of her housemates, whom my parents had never met before. No big deal.

I would welcome young people from the military and it is pretty common among younger people. When we were in our 20s in Europe, friends of SIL and BIL came to visit us, without the other family. When we were in Africa, I often made lunches and welcomed Peace Corp volunteers at our place. But, it is very unlikely now that we are older and with kids. I wonder how it will be when my kids are off to college and want to bring friends over, I think that would be ok. But just random people, now that we are older, I would say no.

[Anonymous]

Nothing strange about it. Your title is misleading. I thought you meant that a relative called and said a friend of theirs was coming to town and could the friend stay with you. But this is a relative coming to town with a friend and the relative asked if they could stay with you? What's the big deal? If you don't want guests at all, that's one thing, but are you saying the relative would be welcome, but their travel companion would not?

We have an old friend coming to town next week and she asked if she could stay with us. But she's bringing her new husband, and we've never even met him! Should I call and tell her they can't stay???

[Anonymous]

Op, since if won't happen without your "yes" and extending an invitation, I don't know why you paint them in such a bad light, except that you're a real catty person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Totally normal for us. This applies not only to relatives but to friends also. We live near DC, so no surprise a lot of people want to visit it. I have stayed in my friend's friend house in Rome, flat in London and Viena. I will repay the same for any of the visitors. I think the key with this type of visit -- you are not hosting and entertaining them, you just provide them bed and breakfast. I never thought about this and we never discussed it really, but I think this is what every one is expecting. People using your house to save money on hotel and I am glad to help them since I've been doing the same thing a lot. No biggie for me.

If you think about this scenario as hosting guest with cooking, cleaning, entertaing, then it become stressful and not enjoyable for anyone, hosts and guests.

+1
I usually warn people that I'll be working/busy but they are welcome to stay. It usually turns out to be fun. But at this point in my life, I have the space and the energy to deal with a little extra bother from guests from time to time.

[Anonymous]

I would trust my parents to invite anybody they liked, because they take better care of my things than I do!

Anybody else asking me? No.