Relatives asking if they can invite other people to vacation at our home

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You saying "NO", absolutely fine.

You getting all weird and judgy about THE VERY IDEA that they would ask, no nice of you Op. Not nice at all.

+1

[Anonymous]

I think it's common. My family was like your family growing up. Getting asked to house someone over a DC/Baltimore trip. My parents love it. They like to talk (usually just once or twice), and then leave them alone to travel around. It can make a huge difference for someone who wants to travel but feels like they need a better home base than a hotel.

I'd try it out and see if you like to be the bed & breakfast so to speak. If not, turn it down for future times.

[Anonymous]

I live in Florida, not far from the beach. We get the same thing in the summer. Over the years, I have come up with a policy: We are willing to host three groups of people per summer. First three parties to make their "reservations" wins.
I don't care who we are hosting, really. I just get burnt out on doing it constantly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You saying "NO", absolutely fine.

You getting all weird and judgy about THE VERY IDEA that they would ask, no nice of you Op. Not nice at all.

+1

You can always say no. You don't have to try to alleviate your guilt about it by making the asker the bad guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In the last year, I've had two people from separate sides of my family ask if they can invite another person to stay at my house so they can visit DC. One husband of a relative asked to bring his daughter and her son (the daughter is not my relative's child) to sightsee because they've never been here before. I've met her a few times, but I would never invite her to my home myself. The other relative is a 40+ woman who wants to hit up DC for the weekend and bring a friend from her hometown. I've never met her friend before and she wants her to stay the weekend?

I've turned them both down. But, I seriously can't imagine asking a relative to Air B&B their home for someone else besides me & my nuclear family.

Is this unusual, or fairly common?

Among my friends and family it is fairly common. We have an open door policy for visiting. We have an extra room that has a bathroom. I hate to see the space go to waste. We have friends from all over the world who have visited and some of whom we have visited in turn. Win-win for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Well I do think it's pretty tacky and ballsy to invite yourself and a friend to someone else's house. You're supposed to wait for them to offer. And if the offer is never forthcoming, well, that should tell you something.

I tell my kids all the time that no, they cannot invite themselves over to a friend's house. They have to wait for an invitation.

[Anonymous]

Just politely say "Fuck no way are you out of your goddamn mind?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You saying "NO", absolutely fine.

You getting all weird and judgy about THE VERY IDEA that they would ask, no nice of you Op. Not nice at all.

+1

You can always say no. You don't have to try to alleviate your guilt about it by making the asker the bad guy.

+2. This kind of request is completely normal in my extended family and apparently for a lot of other PPs as well. No need for you to say yes but also no need for you to clutch your pearls.

[Anonymous]

That is just so inconsiderate! Selfish people, I wonder if you did the same to them how would they feel? So, call them up and say, hey," My good friend Jane is coming to your town and she will stay with you for a week. take good care of her!" Then tell us their reaction.Shut it all down and just say no.

[Anonymous]

Maybe it's this scenario: Relative knows they are traveling to DC. Relative is looking forward to/hoping to see Op - either believing they are "closer" than Op is letting on, or relative (especially older relatives can be this way) wishes to strengthen the bond. The intent is all good. Op was probably taught (thinking she's being polite, doesn't realize she's NOT being genuine) that it's "nice" to have said, "please come visit us anytime" said to this relative or just said to family in general. So, relative is coming. Relative is traveling with someone else. Surprise, surprise! Or course they are! People travel with others. It's a friend. It's someone Op doesn't know. Op, you ought to be glad they aren't going to be needy for your companionship. BUT AGAIN, declining is absolutely fine. Do it! (well, you've done it already) But at least consider that their "motives" aren't negative.

[Anonymous]

Maybe it's a cultural thing, but asking me to host complete strangers in my home would absolutely not be ok in my family. Keep saying no. Eventually they'll stop asking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe it's a cultural thing, but asking me to host complete strangers in my home would absolutely not be ok in my family. Keep saying no. Eventually they'll stop asking.

What is your cultural background?

[Anonymous]

this is really weird to me. I can see some first cousins coming to visit and I''d be cool with that but not just random family members I am not close with. Plus is sounds like they are just using you for your house, not really here to visit you.

Now from a cultural standpoint my Asian MIL threw a fit when we refuse to host my BIL's brother (so guy we are not related to). We also lived in a very small condo at the time and I was 8 months pregnant.

[Anonymous]

Haven't people ever heard of hotels? I would hate staying with strangers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In the last year, I've had two people from separate sides of my family ask if they can invite another person to stay at my house so they can visit DC. One husband of a relative asked to bring his daughter and her son (the daughter is not my relative's child) to sightsee because they've never been here before. I've met her a few times, but I would never invite her to my home myself. The other relative is a 40+ woman who wants to hit up DC for the weekend and bring a friend from her hometown. I've never met her friend before and she wants her to stay the weekend?

I've turned them both down. But, I seriously can't imagine asking a relative to Air B&B their home for someone else besides me & my nuclear family.

Is this unusual, or fairly common?

Start renting it out.