Parents of young kids - intimacy poll

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1) how long together/ married?
2) ages of kids
3) how often do you have sex?
4) are you happy with the amount?

1) together 5 years total, of which we have been married for 3 years
2) 2 years old and 32 weeks in utero
3) maybe once a month
4) i am content because we are doing our best. small child, pregnancy, long hours at difficult jobs, no help beyond our nanny and housekeeper. life is all about priorities and sleeping, eating, spending time with our toddler, and trying to find down time for ourselves take precedence over sex right now.

I get that your jobs are probably long and hard but you do have help so own it.

Do you not know what the word "beyond" means?

Give me a break (not pp). A nanny and housekeeper is significant help, which is obviously what PP meant. What other help do you want? A personal chef? A chauffeur?

A better question is what kind of help you need for your insane envy and anger. Psychologist? Antipsychotics? Life coach?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Together almost 20, married almost 15.
Kids are middle school and elem school.
I used to think we had a mostly sexless marriage because it was more like 1x/month. But if you count oral, then at least 1-2x/week. Are people counting oral in these calculations? I am curious.

Does he go down on you or does "oral" mean BJs for a lazy bastard who rarely or never reciprocates?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are people counting oral in these calculations? I am curious.

Bwaahahahahhaha....yes, I am counting oral in these (I'm the PP at 1x/3-4mo) - here's the deal, almost every single time we have sex, I give DW extensive foreplay and oral to 1st O, then PIV. I can count on two hands the number of times I've received oral since I've known DW...it's OK, I don't really enjoy it that much and she's terrible at it.

[Anonymous]

Together 20 years.
Two young teens
2-3 X/week. Yes, that counts oral only days (usually me giving him a bj. He incorporates oral into foreplay a lot, but I might offer a bj if I don't want to have sex.)
It's about right. Sometimes I want more, sometimes less.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1) how long together/ married?
2) ages of kids
3) how often do you have sex?
4) are you happy with the amount?

1) together 5 years total, of which we have been married for 3 years
2) 2 years old and 32 weeks in utero
3) maybe once a month
4) i am content because we are doing our best. small child, pregnancy, long hours at difficult jobs, no help beyond our nanny and housekeeper. life is all about priorities and sleeping, eating, spending time with our toddler, and trying to find down time for ourselves take precedence over sex right now.

I get that your jobs are probably long and hard but you do have help so own it.

Do you not know what the word "beyond" means?

Give me a break (not pp). A nanny and housekeeper is significant help, which is obviously what PP meant. What other help do you want? A personal chef? A chauffeur?

A better question is what kind of help you need for your insane envy and anger. Psychologist? Antipsychotics? Life coach?

Huh? Who are you responding to? A few posters (I was one, not the other) suggested that it's weird to imply that a nanny and housekeeper are minimal help. That's all. Settle.

[Anonymous]

together 11, married 4
2.5, second on the way
2-4x per month
Years of TTC, pregnancy, breastfeeding, loss have worn us down. Neither of us is all that interested in it right now and that bothers me. Ideal frequency to me is 2-3/week and I hope we can get back there someday but I'm not optimistic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1) how long together/ married?
2) ages of kids
3) how often do you have sex?
4) are you happy with the amount?

9 yrs together, 7 married
Kids are 4 and 6
Sex 2-4x a year. Yes, a year.
No - not remotely happy (and I'm the wife.)

[Anonymous]

Lol. Even in this thread, DC Urban Harpies are lurking to throw shade on a mom who dares have a nanny and housekeeper.

Anyone who can read and isn't overcome by jealousy can tell that PP knows a nanny and housekeeper are help. But you really think paid help is a substitute for the kind of extended family help and village that really make life easier for parents?

You women have real problems. Here's a quote for you: comparison is the thief of joy.

[Anonymous]

I'm a pp who said 2-3 X/wk. It has been as low as once a month, though once a week was the norm a few years ago. We stepped it up intentionally. But, kids aren't so little any longer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Together 20 years.
Two young teens
2-3 X/week. Yes, that counts oral only days (usually me giving him a bj. He incorporates oral into foreplay a lot, but I might offer a bj if I don't want to have sex.)
It's about right. Sometimes I want more, sometimes less.

I would be absolutely fine with this. Better than fine. But it seems my wife thinks a BJ is more 'demanding' of her than sex (with foreplay) is.

And yes, I bathe, groom, and go down on her all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Together 20 years.
Two young teens
2-3 X/week. Yes, that counts oral only days (usually me giving him a bj. He incorporates oral into foreplay a lot, but I might offer a bj if I don't want to have sex.)
It's about right. Sometimes I want more, sometimes less.

I would be absolutely fine with this. Better than fine. But it seems my wife thinks a BJ is more 'demanding' of her than sex (with foreplay) is.

And yes, I bathe, groom, and go down on her all the time.

My DW does precious little of the work during sex; so I can see where my DW would also think a BW is more "demanding."

[Anonymous]

Together 5 years. Baby is 8 months. We've had sex 3 times since baby was born. I'm happy with this. Dh is not.

[Anonymous]

I think people with young kids really have to give themselves a break. I pushed a 10+ pound baby out, breastfed, and didn't feel at all like having sex for like 6 months and even then I was freaked out by it since my body felt so foreign to me.

I have a 7 year old and a 4 year old. Me and DH's sex life is all over the map. We'll have two months when we do nothing. Then a week when we have sex like 4 times. Then nothing for a week, then one kinky thing together, then no sex for a couple weeks, etc. It is very irregular and unpredictable. We've been together more than 15 years. Am I happy with our sex life? Not really. I feel like our level of emotional connection and intimacy really fluctuates and we have been through long dry spells (think more than a year without sex) and I feel like our sexual connection is pretty fragile.

[Anonymous]

1) how long together/ married? 8 together / 3 married

2) ages of kids - 2 and 12 months

3) how often do you have sex? 3-4 times per week

4) are you happy with the amount? would probably like 5-7 times per week (pre-kids it was every day - DW here)

[Anonymous]

1) how long together/ married? Been together about a dozen years. Been married about seven or eight
2) ages of kids - the kids are 3.5 and just-turned 5
3) how often do you have sex? probably about 3-6 times a week. more when we're on vacation. closer to 3 times a week when I have my period and closer to 6 times a week when we're both not having crazy hours at work
4) are you happy with the amount? yes, we both are.