Moving from GA to DCVM area - single parent looking for advice

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you considered renting in DC and commuting to VA? (so, possibly not such a bad commute going against traffic)

The reason is because DC has free preschool in most areas for 3 and 4 year olds. Some public/charter programs are excellent, top-notch. There are immersion programs, dual language programs, montessori, play-based, etc. If you are looking to avoid paying for preschool for one year, then consider it (though of course you'll still have to pay for summer, days off, etc).

Do not do this. Stupid to live so far away and the schools are shitty.

Not to mention crime at her budget. DC is not a place for someone on a tight budget needing a sfe home and good schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you considered renting in DC and commuting to VA? (so, possibly not such a bad commute going against traffic)

The reason is because DC has free preschool in most areas for 3 and 4 year olds. Some public/charter programs are excellent, top-notch. There are immersion programs, dual language programs, montessori, play-based, etc. If you are looking to avoid paying for preschool for one year, then consider it (though of course you'll still have to pay for summer, days off, etc).

Do not do this. Stupid to live so far away and the schools are shitty.

Not to mention crime at her budget. DC is not a place for someone on a tight budget needing a sfe home and good schools.

I disagree. I think living in DC, especially off of a metro line and sending your child to free preK is a great idea. It's worth a good 20k a year post tax. You could also avoid having to own a car. Just need to find a small rental in DC.

[Anonymous]

The Bright Horizons day care (Innovation Station) at USPTO is fantastic and if you'll be working there you'll probably get a spot for a 5 year old preschooler.

[Anonymous]

OP here - I'm so grateful for all your input! It is so difficult to make such a huge transition to a place that is pretty far and crazy expensive. I think what I might do is have my son stay in PA with his grandparents for a few weeks until I get on the ground and am able to actually see things for myself. Thankfully I have a number of friends already in the DC area who have already offered me a place to stay until I can find a place and get settled.

I'm definitely open to all the suggestions even the atypical ones. I just want to make it work the best way I can and still enjoy life especially in a place that has so much to offer.

[Anonymous]

Check out the preschool page for recommendations on preschool. Potomac Crescent Waldorf School in Alexandria is a great school that emphasis play. They have a mixed age kindergarten class that might work well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - I'm so grateful for all your input! It is so difficult to make such a huge transition to a place that is pretty far and crazy expensive. I think what I might do is have my son stay in PA with his grandparents for a few weeks until I get on the ground and am able to actually see things for myself. Thankfully I have a number of friends already in the DC area who have already offered me a place to stay until I can find a place and get settled.

I'm definitely open to all the suggestions even the atypical ones. I just want to make it work the best way I can and still enjoy life especially in a place that has so much to offer.

Live in DC or old town. Someplace you can walk. You'll get so much pleasure out of it. Dc is a good suggestion for reduced childcare costs. It could save you a good $1,500 a month and also prevent you from having to own a car.

[Anonymous]

Hey OP I found a two bedroom at post Carlyle square right outside of old town. $2525. Walking distance to metro, old town and whole foods. You can just get a zip car membership and avoid having to have a car.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you should look to rent in the Belle View Condos, just south of Old Town. You should be able to find something less than $2500 (to allow for childcare).

The ES is Belle View, which is a good school. The middle and high school aren't fantastic right now, but may change in the eight years before you need MS (or your financial circumstances may change, or you may be able to swing a scholarship at a private).

Your commute to Alexandria will be 10 minutes driving. There's also an express bus that runs through Alexandria, and into DC (if you ever get a job in the city).

The area is a little quiet, but it's safe and family-friendly, walkable to stores and the rec center, library, right by the river (for walking/running/biking if you're into that), and easily accessible to Old Town.

I am a single mom of a 3 year old, I work in Old Town, and make just a bit more than you do ($85K), and am really happy in Belle View.

For full-day preschool, look at Blue Bird in Old Town. It's not fancy, but it's safe, and inexpensive (~$1300/month), and my child seems be to learning things.

Different poster. This rec for the Belle View Condos is a great idea! You would have a super-easy commute and the area is charming. It is very walkable. Your child could walk to school when he is old enough to walk to school alone. The nearby shopping center has a CVS, Safeway, post office and a great little family restaurant. The Mount Vernon rec center is close enough to walk and it has an indoor pool, ice-skating rink and little rooms that you can rent out for birthday parties. Right next to the parkway so a nice, wooded feel.

The upside from Del Ray or Old Town is that the traffic in the general area is much better and you won't have all the parking hassles. Also, it is much more low crime.

If you were my daughter, this is an area I would definitely want you to consider. Very safe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you should look to rent in the Belle View Condos, just south of Old Town. You should be able to find something less than $2500 (to allow for childcare).

The ES is Belle View, which is a good school. The middle and high school aren't fantastic right now, but may change in the eight years before you need MS (or your financial circumstances may change, or you may be able to swing a scholarship at a private).

Your commute to Alexandria will be 10 minutes driving. There's also an express bus that runs through Alexandria, and into DC (if you ever get a job in the city).

The area is a little quiet, but it's safe and family-friendly, walkable to stores and the rec center, library, right by the river (for walking/running/biking if you're into that), and easily accessible to Old Town.

I am a single mom of a 3 year old, I work in Old Town, and make just a bit more than you do ($85K), and am really happy in Belle View.

For full-day preschool, look at Blue Bird in Old Town. It's not fancy, but it's safe, and inexpensive (~$1300/month), and my child seems be to learning things.

Different poster. This rec for the Belle View Condos is a great idea! You would have a super-easy commute and the area is charming. It is very walkable. Your child could walk to school when he is old enough to walk to school alone. The nearby shopping center has a CVS, Safeway, post office and a great little family restaurant. The Mount Vernon rec center is close enough to walk and it has an indoor pool, ice-skating rink and little rooms that you can rent out for birthday parties. Right next to the parkway so a nice, wooded feel.

The upside from Del Ray or Old Town is that the traffic in the general area is much better and you won't have all the parking hassles. Also, it is much more low crime.

If you were my daughter, this is an area I would definitely want you to consider. Very safe.

Belle View condos are a terrible idea. Those recommending have clearly not been in them in a long time. They are tiny. Really tiny. A 2 BRD might have 700 sq ft. They are mostly single and older people so if OP lives above someone then noise will be an issue for the person below and vice versa. And realty she will want to live on the 2nd floor due to the potential for flooding.

At the income level Op is expecting, she really can't afford very much, I know because I have a similar income and one child. Really it's best to go by only income one earns and discount child support since it might not happen. Better to be at a montly Pymt one can afford without having to sweat a child suppot payment. Landlords expect at least 40 times the monthly rent. Plus OP keep in kind that all costs in this area are more expensive not just housing so monthly income does not stretch far.

Sometimes, there is just no way to get around a long commute when you have a low middle income for this area. Some closer in places to consider are city of alexandria zip codes - there are tons of condos, many high rises, many families, and rents for 2 brs for $1600 and up. Sometimes even less. The trade off is the schools are not that great. Also, south arlington area, fairlington, rents start at $1800 for an non updated unit. It might be a stretch budget wise but it's walkable, has a nice community, and the school is ok. Kingstowne area is also an option. There is a sub section of Kingstowne that is older called Manchester Lakes, it sits in the middle of Kingstowne but has lower rents. Plenty of places to walk to including Walmart and the school is much better. There is also a child care center right in e Manchester Lakes neighborhood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you should look to rent in the Belle View Condos, just south of Old Town. You should be able to find something less than $2500 (to allow for childcare).

The ES is Belle View, which is a good school. The middle and high school aren't fantastic right now, but may change in the eight years before you need MS (or your financial circumstances may change, or you may be able to swing a scholarship at a private).

Your commute to Alexandria will be 10 minutes driving. There's also an express bus that runs through Alexandria, and into DC (if you ever get a job in the city).

The area is a little quiet, but it's safe and family-friendly, walkable to stores and the rec center, library, right by the river (for walking/running/biking if you're into that), and easily accessible to Old Town.

I am a single mom of a 3 year old, I work in Old Town, and make just a bit more than you do ($85K), and am really happy in Belle View.

For full-day preschool, look at Blue Bird in Old Town. It's not fancy, but it's safe, and inexpensive (~$1300/month), and my child seems be to learning things.

Different poster. This rec for the Belle View Condos is a great idea! You would have a super-easy commute and the area is charming. It is very walkable. Your child could walk to school when he is old enough to walk to school alone. The nearby shopping center has a CVS, Safeway, post office and a great little family restaurant. The Mount Vernon rec center is close enough to walk and it has an indoor pool, ice-skating rink and little rooms that you can rent out for birthday parties. Right next to the parkway so a nice, wooded feel.

The upside from Del Ray or Old Town is that the traffic in the general area is much better and you won't have all the parking hassles. Also, it is much more low crime.

If you were my daughter, this is an area I would definitely want you to consider. Very safe.

Belle View condos are a terrible idea. Those recommending have clearly not been in them in a long time. They are tiny. Really tiny. A 2 BRD might have 700 sq ft. They are mostly single and older people so if OP lives above someone then noise will be an issue for the person below and vice versa. And realty she will want to live on the 2nd floor due to the potential for flooding.

At the income level Op is expecting, she really can't afford very much, I know because I have a similar income and one child. Really it's best to go by only income one earns and discount child support since it might not happen. Better to be at a montly Pymt one can afford without having to sweat a child suppot payment. Landlords expect at least 40 times the monthly rent. Plus OP keep in kind that all costs in this area are more expensive not just housing so monthly income does not stretch far.

Sometimes, there is just no way to get around a long commute when you have a low middle income for this area. Some closer in places to consider are city of alexandria zip codes - there are tons of condos, many high rises, many families, and rents for 2 brs for $1600 and up. Sometimes even less. The trade off is the schools are not that great. Also, south arlington area, fairlington, rents start at $1800 for an non updated unit. It might be a stretch budget wise but it's walkable, has a nice community, and the school is ok. Kingstowne area is also an option. There is a sub section of Kingstowne that is older called Manchester Lakes, it sits in the middle of Kingstowne but has lower rents. Plenty of places to walk to including Walmart and the school is much better. There is also a child care center right in e Manchester Lakes neighborhood.

Not true at all. You don't have to settle on living in an undesirable neighborhood and walking to Walmart. Maybe op doesn't mind a smaller apartment and would like to be able to live in a pretty area. Just because you're having a hard time living on your salary doesn't mean OP will.

[Anonymous]

OP I am a single parent and I would love to get the hell out of the DC metro area. Maybe you should post in the "Parenting - Special Concerns" forum to get feedback from more single parents.

I make $150k a year and my mortgage is $2200 a month. My commute is a little less than an hour each way. I have no family here. Morning care at my youngest's public school is $176 a month; after school is another $400 a month. My 13 year old gets off the bus at 3 and is a latch key kid until I get home from work. I don't even want to think about what full time preschool must cost these days.

Schools here are very intense and competitive. I spend most of my evening time wrestling with my middle schooler's homework with her. I pay a tutor $60 to spend an hour with her once a week and I am considering increasing that. For one illustrative example, our middle school required my child to have a calculator this year that cost $100. And at your income level, you aren't going to qualify for many discounts.

I also buy a significant amount of life insurance each month (payable to a trust controlled by my parents) in case something ever happens to me. Have you thought about life insurance?

Are you factoring in saving for retirement and college? Health insurance premiums? Building a savings cushion? How much do you get in support?

I feel like my life here is a non-stop treadmill of trying to stay on top of everything. I cry whenever I think about the fact that I am stuck here for another decade. Dating is also very difficult here - unless you are 25.

I would give my right arm to live somewhere near my parents or sister. Someplace with a lower pace of life and that is less competitive. I can't leave because my ex will never let us go.

Here's an online calculator for VA income tax: http://www.tax.virginia.gov/income-tax-calculator

I also believe the cost of living here is much higher. And traffic is TERRIBLE. cost of living: https://smartasset.com/mortgage/the-true-cost-of-living-in-washington-dc

Have you been hearing the stories about how our metro system is falling apart? Even our Memorial Bridge is in a dire situation and needs millions in repairs. This morning on our local news station I heard that traffic over the next 20 years is projected to get 76% worse. Whatever that means.


Here is what my life here is like as a single parent:

5:30: wake up. Ride treadmill. Shower and get ready
6:00 wake up middle schooler. Take to bus stop.
6:45: go back and wake up 3rd grader. Take to morning care.
6:45 to 7:30 or 7:45: commute to DC
7:30 - 4: work
4 - 5: commute
5 - 6 cook and dinner
6 - 8: homework, more treadmill, spend time with kids
8:30: begin bed time routine
9 PM: go to bed so I can wake up at 5:30

And despite all this treadmill, I am still overweight, have high blood pressure, depression, stress, etc. etc.

Just be very careful before you make this leap OP. Single parenthood is not really the norm around here. My colleagues all have spouses; many don't understand my reluctance to travel or need to leave work on time each day. School still schedules things for mid-day. If my kid gets sick and I have to leave to get her, it's a long drive and if traffic is bad it's a real problem. And there's always something: dentist, ortho, doctor, etc. etc.

It's just hard, hard, hard. I wouldn't suggest that someone I care about move here as a single parent; I'd suggest going somewhere where you have a support system.

Good luck to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you should look to rent in the Belle View Condos, just south of Old Town. You should be able to find something less than $2500 (to allow for childcare).

The ES is Belle View, which is a good school. The middle and high school aren't fantastic right now, but may change in the eight years before you need MS (or your financial circumstances may change, or you may be able to swing a scholarship at a private).

Your commute to Alexandria will be 10 minutes driving. There's also an express bus that runs through Alexandria, and into DC (if you ever get a job in the city).

The area is a little quiet, but it's safe and family-friendly, walkable to stores and the rec center, library, right by the river (for walking/running/biking if you're into that), and easily accessible to Old Town.

I am a single mom of a 3 year old, I work in Old Town, and make just a bit more than you do ($85K), and am really happy in Belle View.

For full-day preschool, look at Blue Bird in Old Town. It's not fancy, but it's safe, and inexpensive (~$1300/month), and my child seems be to learning things.

Different poster. This rec for the Belle View Condos is a great idea! You would have a super-easy commute and the area is charming. It is very walkable. Your child could walk to school when he is old enough to walk to school alone. The nearby shopping center has a CVS, Safeway, post office and a great little family restaurant. The Mount Vernon rec center is close enough to walk and it has an indoor pool, ice-skating rink and little rooms that you can rent out for birthday parties. Right next to the parkway so a nice, wooded feel.

The upside from Del Ray or Old Town is that the traffic in the general area is much better and you won't have all the parking hassles. Also, it is much more low crime.

If you were my daughter, this is an area I would definitely want you to consider. Very safe.

Belle View condos are a terrible idea. Those recommending have clearly not been in them in a long time. They are tiny. Really tiny. A 2 BRD might have 700 sq ft. They are mostly single and older people so if OP lives above someone then noise will be an issue for the person below and vice versa. And realty she will want to live on the 2nd floor due to the potential for flooding.

At the income level Op is expecting, she really can't afford very much, I know because I have a similar income and one child. Really it's best to go by only income one earns and discount child support since it might not happen. Better to be at a montly Pymt one can afford without having to sweat a child suppot payment. Landlords expect at least 40 times the monthly rent. Plus OP keep in kind that all costs in this area are more expensive not just housing so monthly income does not stretch far.

Sometimes, there is just no way to get around a long commute when you have a low middle income for this area. Some closer in places to consider are city of alexandria zip codes - there are tons of condos, many high rises, many families, and rents for 2 brs for $1600 and up. Sometimes even less. The trade off is the schools are not that great. Also, south arlington area, fairlington, rents start at $1800 for an non updated unit. It might be a stretch budget wise but it's walkable, has a nice community, and the school is ok. Kingstowne area is also an option. There is a sub section of Kingstowne that is older called Manchester Lakes, it sits in the middle of Kingstowne but has lower rents. Plenty of places to walk to including Walmart and the school is much better. There is also a child care center right in e Manchester Lakes neighborhood.

Not true at all. You don't have to settle on living in an undesirable neighborhood and walking to Walmart. Maybe op doesn't mind a smaller apartment and would like to be able to live in a pretty area. Just because you're having a hard time living on your salary doesn't mean OP will.

Wow, really? so you think an area is trashy and undesirable because it has a Walmart? Please don't give OP anymore advice.

Kingstowne/Manchester Lakes is a very nice area and desirable. It is walking distance to the Springfield metro, has plenty of very nice upscale homes, is close to Wegmans, low crime, good community feel, etc.

Next to the Walmart is a Kohls and a Toys R Us. Across the street is a shopping center with Giant, Safeway, Home Goods, TJ Maxx, movie theaters, restaurants.

[Anonymous]

OP here - thank you again. I appreciate all the perspectives! I am not deluded and understand it will be difficult, but I also think it will be worth. A little adversity in our lives may be a good thing. I do prefer to live somewhere safe, with green space and as convenient as possible.

to poster 8:28 - Thank you for your candid response and I completely agree with you. Your schedule actually is almost identical to mine and I live in Savannah, Ga. Of I am in the Army and have to leave my son for weeks on end, so I'm willing to make that trade off. The support system is HUGE! That is why I'm moving to that area because all my family and friends are just a short hop away in PA. The difference is over 10 hours worth of driving. 3-4 hours vs 13-14 hours is much better on both sides. I will certainly post in that group as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I am a single parent and I would love to get the hell out of the DC metro area. Maybe you should post in the "Parenting - Special Concerns" forum to get feedback from more single parents.

I make $150k a year and my mortgage is $2200 a month. My commute is a little less than an hour each way. I have no family here. Morning care at my youngest's public school is $176 a month; after school is another $400 a month. My 13 year old gets off the bus at 3 and is a latch key kid until I get home from work. I don't even want to think about what full time preschool must cost these days.

Schools here are very intense and competitive. I spend most of my evening time wrestling with my middle schooler's homework with her. I pay a tutor $60 to spend an hour with her once a week and I am considering increasing that. For one illustrative example, our middle school required my child to have a calculator this year that cost $100. And at your income level, you aren't going to qualify for many discounts.

I also buy a significant amount of life insurance each month (payable to a trust controlled by my parents) in case something ever happens to me. Have you thought about life insurance?

Are you factoring in saving for retirement and college? Health insurance premiums? Building a savings cushion? How much do you get in support?

I feel like my life here is a non-stop treadmill of trying to stay on top of everything. I cry whenever I think about the fact that I am stuck here for another decade. Dating is also very difficult here - unless you are 25.

I would give my right arm to live somewhere near my parents or sister. Someplace with a lower pace of life and that is less competitive. I can't leave because my ex will never let us go.

Here's an online calculator for VA income tax: http://www.tax.virginia.gov/income-tax-calculator

I also believe the cost of living here is much higher. And traffic is TERRIBLE. cost of living: https://smartasset.com/mortgage/the-true-cost-of-living-in-washington-dc

Have you been hearing the stories about how our metro system is falling apart? Even our Memorial Bridge is in a dire situation and needs millions in repairs. This morning on our local news station I heard that traffic over the next 20 years is projected to get 76% worse. Whatever that means.


Here is what my life here is like as a single parent:

5:30: wake up. Ride treadmill. Shower and get ready
6:00 wake up middle schooler. Take to bus stop.
6:45: go back and wake up 3rd grader. Take to morning care.
6:45 to 7:30 or 7:45: commute to DC
7:30 - 4: work
4 - 5: commute
5 - 6 cook and dinner
6 - 8: homework, more treadmill, spend time with kids
8:30: begin bed time routine
9 PM: go to bed so I can wake up at 5:30

And despite all this treadmill, I am still overweight, have high blood pressure, depression, stress, etc. etc.

Just be very careful before you make this leap OP. Single parenthood is not really the norm around here. My colleagues all have spouses; many don't understand my reluctance to travel or need to leave work on time each day. School still schedules things for mid-day. If my kid gets sick and I have to leave to get her, it's a long drive and if traffic is bad it's a real problem. And there's always something: dentist, ortho, doctor, etc. etc.

It's just hard, hard, hard. I wouldn't suggest that someone I care about move here as a single parent; I'd suggest going somewhere where you have a support system.

Good luck to you.

This is life as a single parent in a metro area. Welcome to the real world. Nothing you described is unique to DC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I am a single parent and I would love to get the hell out of the DC metro area. Maybe you should post in the "Parenting - Special Concerns" forum to get feedback from more single parents.

I make $150k a year and my mortgage is $2200 a month. My commute is a little less than an hour each way. I have no family here. Morning care at my youngest's public school is $176 a month; after school is another $400 a month. My 13 year old gets off the bus at 3 and is a latch key kid until I get home from work. I don't even want to think about what full time preschool must cost these days.

Schools here are very intense and competitive. I spend most of my evening time wrestling with my middle schooler's homework with her. I pay a tutor $60 to spend an hour with her once a week and I am considering increasing that. For one illustrative example, our middle school required my child to have a calculator this year that cost $100. And at your income level, you aren't going to qualify for many discounts.

I also buy a significant amount of life insurance each month (payable to a trust controlled by my parents) in case something ever happens to me. Have you thought about life insurance?

Are you factoring in saving for retirement and college? Health insurance premiums? Building a savings cushion? How much do you get in support?

I feel like my life here is a non-stop treadmill of trying to stay on top of everything. I cry whenever I think about the fact that I am stuck here for another decade. Dating is also very difficult here - unless you are 25.

I would give my right arm to live somewhere near my parents or sister. Someplace with a lower pace of life and that is less competitive. I can't leave because my ex will never let us go.

Here's an online calculator for VA income tax: http://www.tax.virginia.gov/income-tax-calculator

I also believe the cost of living here is much higher. And traffic is TERRIBLE. cost of living: https://smartasset.com/mortgage/the-true-cost-of-living-in-washington-dc

Have you been hearing the stories about how our metro system is falling apart? Even our Memorial Bridge is in a dire situation and needs millions in repairs. This morning on our local news station I heard that traffic over the next 20 years is projected to get 76% worse. Whatever that means.


Here is what my life here is like as a single parent:

5:30: wake up. Ride treadmill. Shower and get ready
6:00 wake up middle schooler. Take to bus stop.
6:45: go back and wake up 3rd grader. Take to morning care.
6:45 to 7:30 or 7:45: commute to DC
7:30 - 4: work
4 - 5: commute
5 - 6 cook and dinner
6 - 8: homework, more treadmill, spend time with kids
8:30: begin bed time routine
9 PM: go to bed so I can wake up at 5:30

And despite all this treadmill, I am still overweight, have high blood pressure, depression, stress, etc. etc.

Just be very careful before you make this leap OP. Single parenthood is not really the norm around here. My colleagues all have spouses; many don't understand my reluctance to travel or need to leave work on time each day. School still schedules things for mid-day. If my kid gets sick and I have to leave to get her, it's a long drive and if traffic is bad it's a real problem. And there's always something: dentist, ortho, doctor, etc. etc.

It's just hard, hard, hard. I wouldn't suggest that someone I care about move here as a single parent; I'd suggest going somewhere where you have a support system.

Good luck to you.

This is why people are suggesting places that don't involve spending 2 hours a day commuting. If OP lives 15-20 minutes away from her job, she can find decent schools (especially for elementary), even in (GASP) Alexandria City. And she'll have an extra 1.5 hours to have a life. That makes a HUGE difference in quality of life.

Also a single parent with no local family, who somehow manages to not be miserable living in the DC area.