Help me choose: weak public with tutor, or catholic, or $40K private...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think you can pay for private for one and suboptimal public for the other.

OP here. I agree. It would have to be her choice, and there would have to be some form of compensation to even things out.

She is a kid. Be careful about letting her make the choice since she could have some preferences reflecting her immaturity. She can choose from among legit options. Suboptimal public is not one, even with tutors. My kid is currently refusing to be tutored in a subject where he needs it and that is not uncommon.

She should only get to choose among legit options.

This, a bad middle can really miss a kid up for life. You need to take the public middle school off the table.

[Anonymous]

"definitely 3 or 4. If your oldest is at a private, why wouldn't you send your younger one there?"

Can you not comprehend that $80K in private school tuition requires around $110K in earned income, something most families can't afford?

[Anonymous]

Does your school have advanced academics in middle school?

We live in a very average school district but our middle school still has AAP/honors classes. I think 10 elementary schools feed into our middle school and there are enough kids in the honors program that we believe our children will receive a decent education.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does your school have advanced academics in middle school?

We live in a very average school district but our middle school still has AAP/honors classes. I think 10 elementary schools feed into our middle school and there are enough kids in the honors program that we believe our children will receive a decent education.

Our public middle school has no differentiation.
OP I would do the Catholic school in this situation. Moving is a big deal and I guess if that is an option, go for it. I don't know if that is really realistic for you. In our case it wasn't possible to move to another district.

Middle school is hard enough on kids that I think outside tutoring just for a decent education is a hard sell.

We chose a private school at the under $30k level. Ds is getting a great education. The commute is hard and there are some other things that are hard. We recently toured a CAtholic school that is very good and closer, but I can't make ds start over with new friends again. If we pull him from his private school we will do public and have to supplement outside of school. I am not looking forward to that but he really, really misses his friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"definitely 3 or 4. If your oldest is at a private, why wouldn't you send your younger one there?"

Can you not comprehend that $80K in private school tuition requires around $110K in earned income, something most families can't afford?

Is this the OP? Why do you think your oldest deserves a $40k a year school experience and your younger kid doesn't? As you're finding, all else being equal, private school is better. Sucks for your younger kid that you're gypping out on her.

[Anonymous]

^^^I was really impressed with the math, english and social studies education and rigor at the Catholic school. The science seemed like it was nowhere near the level of his current school and that combined with the lack of an art teacher were deal breakers. But this is because those subjects are my kid's passions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think you can pay for private for one and suboptimal public for the other.

OP here. I agree. It would have to be her choice, and there would have to be some form of compensation to even things out.

She is a kid. Be careful about letting her make the choice since she could have some preferences reflecting her immaturity. She can choose from among legit options. Suboptimal public is not one, even with tutors. My kid is currently refusing to be tutored in a subject where he needs it and that is not uncommon.

She should only get to choose among legit options.

This, a bad middle can really miss a kid up for life. You need to take the public middle school off the table.

Just curious, but why do you say a bad middle school can "mess a kid up for life"? Do you mean that the kid could fall into a bad peer group and veer off onto a different path, or are you referring to academics? If academics, obviously a bad middle is not desirable, but why would it "mess them up for life?"

[Anonymous]

Move

[Anonymous]

Catholic.
However, plan on a tutor for a bit.

Some kids joined my nephew's class from a pretty good (not great) large public school and were behind in certain skills (note-taking, editing, managing multiple deadlines...) and parents said these skills weren't stressed at their last school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think you can pay for private for one and suboptimal public for the other.

OP here. I agree. It would have to be her choice, and there would have to be some form of compensation to even things out.

She is a kid. Be careful about letting her make the choice since she could have some preferences reflecting her immaturity. She can choose from among legit options. Suboptimal public is not one, even with tutors. My kid is currently refusing to be tutored in a subject where he needs it and that is not uncommon.

She should only get to choose among legit options.

This, a bad middle can really miss a kid up for life. You need to take the public middle school off the table.

Just curious, but why do you say a bad middle school can "mess a kid up for life"? Do you mean that the kid could fall into a bad peer group and veer off onto a different path, or are you referring to academics? If academics, obviously a bad middle is not desirable, but why would it "mess them up for life?"

You're too nice to this poster. It's ludicrous to say it will mess them up for life, and even more ludicrous to say it will "miss" them up for life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"definitely 3 or 4. If your oldest is at a private, why wouldn't you send your younger one there?"

Can you not comprehend that $80K in private school tuition requires around $110K in earned income, something most families can't afford?

Is this the OP? Why do you think your oldest deserves a $40k a year school experience and your younger kid doesn't? As you're finding, all else being equal, private school is better. Sucks for your younger kid that you're gypping out on her.

This is the op and i did not post that. I would not spend that much on only one child unless they needed spec ed or something like that. So f off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Move. There's more to school than just the academics. It's continuing to foster the love of learning and being surrounded by kids who enjoy and are good in school as well. If you're not in a good ms then HS is such a shock to the system.

+1. We did. One of my children is average and advanced classes would not be appropriate. We are even happier we moved because of him. His friends want to do well and are involved in so many activities. My son cares about school and is also involved in enrichment, but at his level. We don't know what would have happened if we were in our old neighborhood and he grew up in a failing school around so many that didn't care. Parents only affect children so much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Or move for middle school.

Back story: we live in an area zoned for an improving but weak middle school.

Child #2 hits MS next year. She is an okay student who seems to be behind in part because she had an inexperienced and not talented sub for 6 months last year.

Our options are :

1) an ok catholic school where she will get a solid education in the basics. We aent religious, but are not opposed.

2) send to the barely passable public MS knowing a tutor will be needed to be prepared for HS

3) have her join oldest at expensive private. She doesn't really want to go there, and we cant really afford it.

4) move, probably to attend westland.

For option 2) we dont know how to structure a full scale supplementation plan for math, language arts, but i think it will be much less than $40k.

Advice welcome and needed.

I personally don't think that option 2 sounds like a good option, even with tutors. I also would not want to spend $40K on the private school if my child expressed no desire to go there. I might move, if the high school option in the new place would also be a really good option, and it doesn't put you too far away from your older daughter's school. How does she feel about the Catholic school? IME, Catholic schools are not as religious as private Christian schools. I personally have not seen that history is taught through a lens of Catholicism, as one pp stated. Also, if the Catholic school has a really good academic reputation, there will be non-Catholic students there as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does your school have advanced academics in middle school?

We live in a very average school district but our middle school still has AAP/honors classes. I think 10 elementary schools feed into our middle school and there are enough kids in the honors program that we believe our children will receive a decent education.

This is a good point. Is there an advanced academic option within the public middle school?

[Anonymous]

Go to a Catholic school for middle school and reassess for HS since most Catholic ES stop at 8th.

Don't worry about the honors/AP BS. Let your child learn education is more than grades.