Argumentative spouse

[Anonymous]

Agree with disengaging, which I have done in the past, but it's hard to do when:
1. you are not working or earning much money.
2. the debate-loving spouse just itches for a fight all the time and picks ANYTHING you did or did not do, as the basis for a fight.

This is my situation and honestly as soon as I recover from my medical thing, I will put my foot down and demand we go to counseling or get a divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you don't know why you married him, but you went ahead and had a kid with him when you already knew he was like this? Brilliant idea.

You sound like the kind of argumentative asshole described in the first post. How unhappy is your life on a scale of 1 to 10? A 12?

If 1 is the happiest on your scale, I'm actually a 1. Because I didn't marry and then have a baby by an asshole I didn't really love. I'm not one of those women so desperate to have a baby that I marry the first sperm donor who steps up, and then complains when life sucks later.

NP here, if you are so happy, why are you such a bitch? Who gets pleasur rout of kicking someone while they are down?

OP I agree with the posters who say run less things by him, spend less time with him (or the time that you do spend, be actively engaged in something else), and reconsider divorcing sooner rather than later if that is the route you are planning to take.
At best your husband notices your detachment and misses his sparring partner and then you can fill him in on the new world order, or you get a little peace and distance while you plan your divorce.

Because I'm sick of women coming on this board bitching about how their husbands suck when 99% of the time they knew what they were getting into when they got married. SHE made the mistake of marrying a dick, then made the further mistake of having a baby with him. She is solely responsible for her situation. Period. I'm not going to have a pity party for someone who made their own conscious choices. Stop settling for sperm donors. And if you're unhappy then pull the plug. But don't bitch about someone's personality after you dug your own grave.

Dr. Laura, is that you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree with disengaging, which I have done in the past, but it's hard to do when:
1. you are not working or earning much money.
2. the debate-loving spouse just itches for a fight all the time and picks ANYTHING you did or did not do, as the basis for a fight.

This is my situation and honestly as soon as I recover from my medical thing, I will put my foot down and demand we go to counseling or get a divorce.

OP here. My heart goes out to you. I earn very good money and could easily support a family on my own. I do not take lightly the havoc that being shuttled between divorced parents wreaks on a child, however, and DH really is a wonderful parent. That is why I stay for the most part. DH is someone who just doesn't know how NOT to argue. He is contrary and even when he gets his way, he will change his mind arbitrarily so he has something new to start an argument about. I honestly think it is a mix of selfishness, rudeness, and control issues. He should have been told no and broken of this need to control others as a child, but his parents took the easy way out and just indulged him.

[Anonymous]

You are doing your son and his future partners a huge disservice by staying and normalizing this behavior.

He is young enough to suffer far fewer scars from a quick and painless divorce; you say you earn enough that I assume alimony isn't an issue, and DH is a good father so shared custody isn't an issue either. Leave - or at least deliver your ultimatum - before your son is old enough to develop the same patterns of behavior.

Is that really the man you want to raise?

-Signed, a daughter whose brother is just like their father.

[Anonymous]

Wow, this is going to be fun when your kid starts voicing their opinion (and need to win). Stand back and watch Daddy get into power struggle after power struggle. Poor kid..,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are doing your son and his future partners a huge disservice by staying and normalizing this behavior.

He is young enough to suffer far fewer scars from a quick and painless divorce; you say you earn enough that I assume alimony isn't an issue, and DH is a good father so shared custody isn't an issue either. Leave - or at least deliver your ultimatum - before your son is old enough to develop the same patterns of behavior.

Is that really the man you want to raise?

-Signed, a daughter whose brother is just like their father.

+1

By staying this is the only behavior that your son will model. Your son will likely end up just like his dad. Is that what you want?! Divorce doesn't have to be traumatic. It can be a relief to the kids to get away from all the arguing.

[Anonymous]

Because I'm sick of women coming on this board bitching about how their husbands suck when 99% of the time they knew what they were getting into when they got married. SHE made the mistake of marrying a dick, then made the further mistake of having a baby with him. She is solely responsible for her situation. Period. I'm not going to have a pity party for someone who made their own conscious choices. Stop settling for sperm donors. And if you're unhappy then pull the plug. But don't bitch about someone's personality after you dug your own grave.

I agree. And it's a pattern repeated day in and day out by many on here. How the hell do the smartest wealthiest women on the internet marry such rotten ass men ? Then it's their husband's mothers they ALSO fight with.

Look, when you gripe and bitch about your men and their mothers, time to face the mirror because 9 out of 10 times, it's YOU.

Learn to negotiate. There is no reason for a power struggle. And that's what it is. Neither party wants to give up the power. A main reason you all are so miserable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Because I'm sick of women coming on this board bitching about how their husbands suck when 99% of the time they knew what they were getting into when they got married. SHE made the mistake of marrying a dick, then made the further mistake of having a baby with him. She is solely responsible for her situation. Period. I'm not going to have a pity party for someone who made their own conscious choices. Stop settling for sperm donors. And if you're unhappy then pull the plug. But don't bitch about someone's personality after you dug your own grave.

I agree. And it's a pattern repeated day in and day out by many on here. How the hell do the smartest wealthiest women on the internet marry such rotten ass men ? Then it's their husband's mothers they ALSO fight with.

Look, when you gripe and bitch about your men and their mothers, time to face the mirror because 9 out of 10 times, it's YOU.

Learn to negotiate. There is no reason for a power struggle. And that's what it is. Neither party wants to give up the power. A main reason you all are so miserable.

You're so happy that you live on DCUM with your eyes glued to the posts you criticize and know all about the posting trends of unhappy DCUM women. Yea, you sound as if your life is just thrilling and full.

[Anonymous]

Why is this thread provoking such vitriol from supposedly happy women who appear to have closely scrutinized the dcum universe and are personally offended by its inability to meet their relationship standards?

[Anonymous]

Have you tried giving him choices?

" Dear, I have a few pair of rain boots open on the computer. Thought you might want to take a look before I purchase a pair. You are welcome to look other places too if you'd like."