Too many classes for my son?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the OP. Thank everyone who replied.

I have talked to wife but she is unreasonable. I don't think she knows what she is doing, since though she is busy scheduling but she is not engaged in their studies, she rarely bothered to sit down with the kids to do anything.
Obviously she is only thinking about how many hours the classes would take, not realizing these classes carry a lot after-class workload.

So far I am trying to minimizing the stress on the kids. I am very wary about pitting the kids against their mom.

Someone asked if my wife has ADHD, which I don't think so. But I have been concerned about any sign of dementia, given her family history of the illness.

You need to step up and TELL her how it's going to be, you need to protect your son from this nightmare of a woman; if you don't he will fall into the same pattern of being pushed and led around by his wife or significant other. Just like you.

Put yourself squarely in your sons corner.

[Anonymous]

Are you the OP who wrote about your wife asking for the receipt at the restaurant?

[Anonymous]

Yes, I wrote the episode about the restraint receipt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Is his only physical activity the one tennis lesson a week? If so, that is not healthy. If he is in school all day, he doesn't need more academics after school unless he is having problems keeping up at school, which doesn't seem to be the case. He would be healthier and have a more even disposition if he spent that time doing something physical outdoors.

And he isn't even going to learn to play tennis unless he spends some time playing tennis. Emphasis on the word "play".

[Anonymous]

Set up a meeting with school counselor or principal to talk about being on track for college and your sons progress in school. They will back you up that this is too much and the over scheduling is actually hurting your sons success with learning from school. This is really unhealthy.

[Anonymous]

I think it is great that you aren't putting your wife down in front of your kids. Trust me, plenty of our husbands are not so considerate and we wish they would be. Unfortunately your child is paying the price for her not being able to get her priorities and putting too much pressure on your DS. I am afraid this is a confrontation you need to have, but since you seem incapable of doing so, I suggest you just take your DS to several next activities and tell the tutors and teachers and learning centers, he will not be coming any more, and see if you can get a refund. Then tell your wife after the fact.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Is his only physical activity the one tennis lesson a week? If so, that is not healthy. If he is in school all day, he doesn't need more academics after school unless he is having problems keeping up at school, which doesn't seem to be the case. He would be healthier and have a more even disposition if he spent that time doing something physical outdoors.

And he isn't even going to learn to play tennis unless he spends some time playing tennis. Emphasis on the word "play".

Absolutely agree.

[Anonymous]

Your wife is Asian, isn't she?

Your poor DS sounds like my DS's best friend. He plays drums in the school band but the only way he was allowed to learn percussion in school was if he agreed to piano and cello lessons outside of school. He hates both. He also has an SAT prep class, STEM tutor (had no idea that was a thing until he told me), a tutor for Latin to make sure what he's learning in school is up to par, and he's started Spanish this year outside of school. Poor kid never has any free time to relax and decompress. She even made him drop out of soccer, which he loves and where he and my DS became BFFs, because it hinders his learning.

For my DS bday he invited 5 friends over for an afternoon of paintballing, dinner out, and then a sleepover with video games and movies. His friend wasn't allowed to attend the paintball event due to the violence (I get it; a gun is a gun to some) but was dropped off at the restaurant for dinner. He wasn't allowed to spend the night because he had his STEM tutor at 7:30 on a Saturday evening... a Saturday evening tutor!! I told his mom he was more than welcome to come after his tutor session but she said he needed to be up early for his cello lesson on Sunday and she knew he wouldn't get enough sleep. She did make a compromise with me that he was allowed to spend from 12-3 with DS that Sunday as long as I didn't allow him to have more than 45 minutes of electronic stimulation. I just wanted to hug the kid and tell him to spend all 3 hours doing whatever he wanted, even if he was being electronically stimulated, but I was a good mom and cut them off. He still had a blast playing soccer with DS and some neighborhood kids.

I understand prepping for college, but he's 14 and way too scheduled. If your kid isn't going to bed until after 11 PM or midnight and given zero free time, you're parenting wrong.