Getting my kids a cell phone to share---can't believe I'm doing this. Need advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does an 8 or 9 year old NEED a phone?

In our house, they get 'em when they hit middle school. With email and texting, it is pretty hard to share a phone.

I'm poster 15:26. My 8 year old did not need a phone by my definition of need. However, both she and I wanted her to have it because it made life much more convenient for both of us.
- It was getting difficult to have my work schedule line up exactly with her school schedule, however having her stay home alone for between 25-45 minutes after school until I got home worked out almost perfectly. We did not have a landline phone at home, and I was not comfortable with her staying home alone with no means of contacting me, another approved adult, or emergency services if needed.

- She started wanting to walk a few blocks to the park by herself, wander around the mall alone while I was shopping for something "boring", or go to the little shopette on the corner and use her allowance to buy some little trinket or candy or whatever. While I know that we all did this with no safety net or means of immediate contact with an adult, given the somewhat altered expectations for child supervision these days I felt better sending her with a phone *just in case*, and I couldn't just give her mine to take because then I wouldn't have one for her to call. My instructions to her were basically "I know you're capable of handling most things on your own. If, however, something happens that you consider an emergency and don't know how to deal with, or if any busybody adults question why you're on your own, you can call me."

-About halfway through third grade we started doing loosely supervised trial runs of her using the city bus system on her own, and by fourth she was able to travel solo or with certain friends to pre-approved destinations requiring a bus trip. The phone allowed her to get text-based tracking of bus arrivals, use our data plan or the mobile app to navigate her way through any detours or delays, and occasionally use google maps (or, rarely, a text to me or her older sisters) to get herself un-lost. I also wouldn't have been comfortable allowing her this much freedom if I didn't know we had a way of keeping in touch just in case.

- Giving her an independent means of communication with family members scattered across the country, and especially with her older sister in college, was a particularly nice side benefit.

- On-the-go access (and ability to add her own stuff) to our family Google calendar and Google-based organization system was by no means essential but really quite convenient

By age 12, the phone had many more uses and I had greatly relaxed the restrictions placed on her internet access and data usage.

Okay, you're right - your 8 year old needed a phone. Sounds like she also needed a parent, but alas, that's a different thread.

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does an 8 or 9 year old NEED a phone?

In our house, they get 'em when they hit middle school. With email and texting, it is pretty hard to share a phone.

OP here. My 9 yr old needs a phone for MY sanity (right or wrong--I know there will be some on DCUM who will call my a helicopter mom). She has to cross a busy street after school to get to another building where I will meet her with my DS. It will only be 15-20 minutes, but I would like to know she made it into the building. My other child will use to to let me know where he is after his after school activity.

But if you're meeting of her in the other building, won't you know she made it since you'll be there?

OP here. I won't get there until she has been there 15-20 minutes (and sometimes 30-40 minutes). So, yes I admit it's really for my piece of mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think my 5th grader "needed" a phone because she started commuting to school and after school activities via public transportation by herself. I get that our generation didn't have such conveniences, but it exists now and it gives me a ton of peace of mind to have her be able to text me. I also want her to have the ability to call if something unexpected happens (like a bus breaks down or she misses a stop or whatever). Maybe this is a city v suburb thing but practically all her classmates had phones in 5th grade. Since me and DH have verizon, we just gave her one of our old smart phones when it was time for us to upgrade and added her to our plan. We have, however, only given her a tiny tiny tiny amount of data. The price to add her wasn't bad at all. And if she wants to use the online stuff for fun she has to do it somewhere where there is wifi. The tiny, tiny amount of data we have given is expressly for the purpose of her being able to use the "map/location" apps should she ever get lost. Things are working out for us.

We do the same for my dd. By the way, google maps have an offline mode that you can pre download maps. So she really doesn't need any data.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got my kid a Tracfone. It cost $5 on Amazon, then I buy the time which I think is $20 for 90 days of service. It winds up costing me about $7/month. I got the phone with triple minutes, and they carry over, so we never run out of minutes.

I love that it is so cheap that I don't worry about him losing it. And it has been adequate for our needs - he can call me or text me if he needs to. While I think the phone has the ability to connect to the internet, it is so cumbersome to use and my kid just understands that he is not to try to connect to the internet that way. He only uses for calling me when necessary - he does not use it to text with his friends.

Not OP - but got a question on tracphones and prepaid cards. Don't you still have to sign up with some wireless cell service, like Sprint, to be able to make a call? There's a service fee for this, right?

I've been with tracfone since 2002! I just bought my rising 7th grader her first cell phone with tracfone. Go to HSN.com or QVC.com. I bought her a Samsung Galaxy Grand Prime (8gb) for $139. It has one year of service/access, the phone and charger, and 1350 minutes of talk, 1350 texts, and 1350 mb data. You'd be surprised how long that lasts if you set it up to use wifi when available or even turn off the mobile data until the times you want to use it. My DD is under instructions not to download things without permission. Also, if you are going to do a lot of Pokemon Go, that may take up a bunch of data -- not sure about that.

If you need more texts eventually, you buy them for $5 for another 1000 texts.

There is no way that this is as expensive as a sprint plan ($100/mo for two lines???).

Now my DD's phone is nicer than mine, so I will probably get the same one when I get around to ordering it. When the one year period is up, you can either buy another phone on hsn.com or qvc.com for a simiar price (you can transfer any unused amount to the next phone or carry it over if you keep the same phone). OR you can buy a one year service plan for about $99 (that give you 450 talk/text/mb data. But for $20 more, you get triple for life. (That may be included in the initial phone purchase, I don't recall). So, that $120 will get you 1350 of talk/text/data and a year of access. It runs on Verizon's network.

Hope that helps.

[Anonymous]

DC got it at 8. Didn't need it, but ex got it for him. Hasn't been a big deal at all that he has it.

[Anonymous]

I gave DD an old unlocked smart phone and use a service similar to Republic. Has minutes and text only, no data but will work on wifi. About 13.00 mo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does an 8 or 9 year old NEED a phone?

In our house, they get 'em when they hit middle school. With email and texting, it is pretty hard to share a phone.

I'm poster 15:26. My 8 year old did not need a phone by my definition of need. However, both she and I wanted her to have it because it made life much more convenient for both of us.
- It was getting difficult to have my work schedule line up exactly with her school schedule, however having her stay home alone for between 25-45 minutes after school until I got home worked out almost perfectly. We did not have a landline phone at home, and I was not comfortable with her staying home alone with no means of contacting me, another approved adult, or emergency services if needed.

- She started wanting to walk a few blocks to the park by herself, wander around the mall alone while I was shopping for something "boring", or go to the little shopette on the corner and use her allowance to buy some little trinket or candy or whatever. While I know that we all did this with no safety net or means of immediate contact with an adult, given the somewhat altered expectations for child supervision these days I felt better sending her with a phone *just in case*, and I couldn't just give her mine to take because then I wouldn't have one for her to call. My instructions to her were basically "I know you're capable of handling most things on your own. If, however, something happens that you consider an emergency and don't know how to deal with, or if any busybody adults question why you're on your own, you can call me."

-About halfway through third grade we started doing loosely supervised trial runs of her using the city bus system on her own, and by fourth she was able to travel solo or with certain friends to pre-approved destinations requiring a bus trip. The phone allowed her to get text-based tracking of bus arrivals, use our data plan or the mobile app to navigate her way through any detours or delays, and occasionally use google maps (or, rarely, a text to me or her older sisters) to get herself un-lost. I also wouldn't have been comfortable allowing her this much freedom if I didn't know we had a way of keeping in touch just in case.

- Giving her an independent means of communication with family members scattered across the country, and especially with her older sister in college, was a particularly nice side benefit.

- On-the-go access (and ability to add her own stuff) to our family Google calendar and Google-based organization system was by no means essential but really quite convenient

By age 12, the phone had many more uses and I had greatly relaxed the restrictions placed on her internet access and data usage.

Okay, you're right - your 8 year old needed a phone. Sounds like she also needed a parent, but alas, that's a different thread.

This

Her daughter is fine, and independent. I guess you'll be helicoptering for eternity. How dare PP allow her child to walk to the corner store!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I gave DD an old unlocked smart phone and use a service similar to Republic. Has minutes and text only, no data but will work on wifi. About 13.00 mo.

Where do you get an unlocked smartphone?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does an 8 or 9 year old NEED a phone?

In our house, they get 'em when they hit middle school. With email and texting, it is pretty hard to share a phone.

My oldest is going into middle school and is not getting a phone. Doesn't need it.

You know what? If you don't have anything useful for the OP, zip it. Some of us have lives and kids where a cell phone may not be to the letter necessary, but immensely helpful. I ti great you are doing os great at keeping your kids in the stone age, but that is not for everybody.

OP, we gave our kid our old cellphone and added him to the family plan. But I think the tracfone is a fine idea. It's cheap and easy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does an 8 or 9 year old NEED a phone?

In our house, they get 'em when they hit middle school. With email and texting, it is pretty hard to share a phone.

I'm poster 15:26. My 8 year old did not need a phone by my definition of need. However, both she and I wanted her to have it because it made life much more convenient for both of us.
- It was getting difficult to have my work schedule line up exactly with her school schedule, however having her stay home alone for between 25-45 minutes after school until I got home worked out almost perfectly. We did not have a landline phone at home, and I was not comfortable with her staying home alone with no means of contacting me, another approved adult, or emergency services if needed.

- She started wanting to walk a few blocks to the park by herself, wander around the mall alone while I was shopping for something "boring", or go to the little shopette on the corner and use her allowance to buy some little trinket or candy or whatever. While I know that we all did this with no safety net or means of immediate contact with an adult, given the somewhat altered expectations for child supervision these days I felt better sending her with a phone *just in case*, and I couldn't just give her mine to take because then I wouldn't have one for her to call. My instructions to her were basically "I know you're capable of handling most things on your own. If, however, something happens that you consider an emergency and don't know how to deal with, or if any busybody adults question why you're on your own, you can call me."

-About halfway through third grade we started doing loosely supervised trial runs of her using the city bus system on her own, and by fourth she was able to travel solo or with certain friends to pre-approved destinations requiring a bus trip. The phone allowed her to get text-based tracking of bus arrivals, use our data plan or the mobile app to navigate her way through any detours or delays, and occasionally use google maps (or, rarely, a text to me or her older sisters) to get herself un-lost. I also wouldn't have been comfortable allowing her this much freedom if I didn't know we had a way of keeping in touch just in case.

- Giving her an independent means of communication with family members scattered across the country, and especially with her older sister in college, was a particularly nice side benefit.

- On-the-go access (and ability to add her own stuff) to our family Google calendar and Google-based organization system was by no means essential but really quite convenient

By age 12, the phone had many more uses and I had greatly relaxed the restrictions placed on her internet access and data usage.

Okay, you're right - your 8 year old needed a phone. Sounds like she also needed a parent, but alas, that's a different thread.

This

Her daughter is fine, and independent. I guess you'll be helicoptering for eternity. How dare PP allow her child to walk to the corner store!

Wasting your breath PP. There is at least one poster who claims every time the cell phone issue comes that you are actually being a helicopter parent by tethering your kid to the phone. Can't win for losing.


My kid had a cellphone at 8, and it was a game changer for us. I don't get why people get so rapidly anti-cell. No one is forcing a cell phone to THEIR kids' ears. Weird.

[Anonymous]

My daughter got a smartphone at age 10 because that is how she and her friends communicate with each other. My 12 year old son never asked for a smartphone - but we just got him one for middle school, and he's ecstatic. He's like, "Now I can communicate with my friends!"

[Anonymous]

I just do not understand why a kid having a phone is so upsetting to so many of you.

When I was a kid, we all carried change as soon as we were old enough to be out of sight. Now there are no Pay phones.

Some of us work and like to be able to text our kids with details.

I like to text simple things like "remember I am picking you up for a doctors appointment."

A phone for an 8 year old doesn't represent the downfall of civilization or parenting failures. It is just a phone.

I strongly advise the lot of you to get a life and worry about parenting things that matter.