I don't want to supplement at home

[Anonymous]

OK, I read your follow-up and the problem here is that you don't know how to make your kids work.
You're in good company, OP, that's the problem with most parents around here, raised in the permissive parenting era.

If your kids are young, you have the luxury of time - but don't be fooled. Start now to build a relationship with your kids based on respect, not just trust. Your kids have to believe that you know what's right for them. They need to learn delayed gratification and impulse control. That's hard in a society that constantly pushes the opposite!
So a little work now will go a long way. By the time their peers are rebelling from their parents, yours will be listening to you.

[Anonymous]

You sound a bit lazy. You expect your children to have academic rigor without any personal (time) or financial (private school) sacrifice on your part. In that case, I can't help you.



+2 You do realize most parents who put in the time to supplement also WOH, right? We don't sacrifice our recreational time because it's fun, but because we want to do right by our kids. It's not that hard. If my kids have homework, they do it. If not, they do workbook or some other project for c. 45 mins, I quickly check it, then they're done, with time left to play, day dream etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
You sound a bit lazy. You expect your children to have academic rigor without any personal (time) or financial (private school) sacrifice on your part. In that case, I can't help you.

+2 You do realize most parents who put in the time to supplement also WOH, right? We don't sacrifice our recreational time because it's fun, but because we want to do right by our kids. It's not that hard. If my kids have homework, they do it. If not, they do workbook or some other project for c. 45 mins, I quickly check it, then they're done, with time left to play, day dream etc.

Serious question. At what age do you start this? I like the idea of providing homework on the nights they do not have any. Sort of creating a standard amount of "homework" that has to be done regardless of who assigns the work. Seems like a seamless way to include some supplementation without going overboard. Did you start this at Kindergarten?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

We can afford to, and would gladly (well somewhat gladly) move to be in bounds for JKLM. And we will attend those open houses this year. But I am realistic about what you can learn from an open house. Their test scores are respectable but we would be bummed to move only to find the reason the scores at those schools are good is that those parents are supplementing too.

Our ideal is a school where the kids get good fundamentals and are challenged to do advanced work (not necessarily "gifted"-- I am realistic about that). There will be homework from school but otherwise we can enjoy our limited family time doing sports, music, hiking, and enjoying each other's company. Is this possible in DC? I went to public schools myself and have plenty of friends from undergrad and grad school who also went to public schools and did very well academically. So I know private is not necessary. But a good public is...

Yes, this is possible in DC. Feel free to ask a lot of questions at the Open Houses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You sound a bit lazy. You expect your children to have academic rigor without any personal (time) or financial (private school) sacrifice on your part. In that case, I can't help you.

+2 You do realize most parents who put in the time to supplement also WOH, right? We don't sacrifice our recreational time because it's fun, but because we want to do right by our kids. It's not that hard. If my kids have homework, they do it. If not, they do workbook or some other project for c. 45 mins, I quickly check it, then they're done, with time left to play, day dream etc.

Serious question. At what age do you start this? I like the idea of providing homework on the nights they do not have any. Sort of creating a standard amount of "homework" that has to be done regardless of who assigns the work. Seems like a seamless way to include some supplementation without going overboard. Did you start this at Kindergarten?

I started doing this when my daughter was in first grade. It has worked very well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You sound a bit lazy. You expect your children to have academic rigor without any personal (time) or financial (private school) sacrifice on your part. In that case, I can't help you.

+2 You do realize most parents who put in the time to supplement also WOH, right? We don't sacrifice our recreational time because it's fun, but because we want to do right by our kids. It's not that hard. If my kids have homework, they do it. If not, they do workbook or some other project for c. 45 mins, I quickly check it, then they're done, with time left to play, day dream etc.

Serious question. At what age do you start this? I like the idea of providing homework on the nights they do not have any. Sort of creating a standard amount of "homework" that has to be done regardless of who assigns the work. Seems like a seamless way to include some supplementation without going overboard. Did you start this at Kindergarten?

In K, we spent that time on improving reading skills. Simple math just walking around in real life otherwise. I began with workbooks etc. in 1st. It's just part of the routine, my kids are fine with it. I sit and catch up with work e-mails, so we're all together.

[Anonymous]

I just can't stomach supplementing at home. School ought to be able to teach my kid what he needs to know, at an adequately challenging level, in 7 hours plus reasonable homework time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just can't stomach supplementing at home. School ought to be able to teach my kid what he needs to know, at an adequately challenging level, in 7 hours plus reasonable homework time.

I feel this way too. Kids should have time to play and just be kids for Christ sake.

[Anonymous]

New charter elementary idea: progressive but rigorous charter designed to appeal to parents (of all race and SES levels). Differentiation and high expectations of all kids for the basics of math, English, and reading; extras limited to music. History and science taught on alternating days -- but rigorous, no fluff. High quality after-care providing access to art and music lessons and homework time. Located somewhere spacious (ward 7 or 8)? so there can be a nice outdoor space. Reasonably long recess and lunch periods will be available because the kids won't waste time on fluff "extras" like 45 minutes of useless Mandarin or art classes. Teaching and discipline approaches will be progressive and non-punitive; high expectations but not "drill and kill." Basically as if KIPP married a HRCS.

[Anonymous]

OP, different school system but I felt the same way about my DD. I also didn't want to supplement and felt irritated that I would have to for her to be satisfied. I realized most public schools would be this way and so I changed my kid to private school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for the helpful responses. Here's some more information in case it helps elicit any more good advice

We have already done our due diligence on the current school and determined we are not comfortable with it. We have determined if we were to stay, we would need to do some heavy-duty supplementing in order to feel like we're were doing right by our kids. We want them to achieve to their potential, academically.

My spouse and I both work full time and so in the evenings, we only have 2-3 hours per night with our kids. We do all the stuff "good" "smart" families are supposed to do-- discussions about current events, incorporating math and reading into everyday stuff we do as a family. We read stories together at night. We love spending weekends in the great outdoors and the boys are very into their sports teams, which is also important to us. We have not, in the past, done any sort of deliberate supplementing at home where there is a set curriculum, goals, etc.

Recently I have tried kumon and other workbooks. It just doesn't work. My kids, although they are fine with schoolwork done at school, are very resistant to doing it at home. They don't see the point if their teachers think they are doing fine. It becomes a battle and I would rather spend family time on the fun stuff and the enrichment side of things, and let school focus on the academic fundamentals.

Our in-bounds school is Maury. No personal experience with it since we lotteried into the charter, but have heard mixed things and don't want to pull the kids from somewhere they are happy only to find we didn't improve our situation and need to move again.

We can afford to, and would gladly (well somewhat gladly) move to be in bounds for JKLM. And we will attend those open houses this year. But I am realistic about what you can learn from an open house. Their test scores are respectable but we would be bummed to move only to find the reason the scores at those schools are good is that those parents are supplementing too.

Our ideal is a school where the kids get good fundamentals and are challenged to do advanced work (not necessarily "gifted"-- I am realistic about that). There will be homework from school but otherwise we can enjoy our limited family time doing sports, music, hiking, and enjoying each other's company. Is this possible in DC? I went to public schools myself and have plenty of friends from undergrad and grad school who also went to public schools and did very well academically. So I know private is not necessary. But a good public is...

I have three kids in a JKLM and many, many friends in the school (we've been in the community for 6 years). I don't know of anyone who formally supplements outside of school. Kids do music lessons, travel sports, and every other extracurricular under the sun, (competitive swimming, ice skating, diving, ballet etc) but no academic supplementation. My neighbor's kid is really academically gifted (one of those kids who could do probably do trig in 4th grade with the slightest bit of direction) and even his parents don't supplement. They just encourage him to read and have playdates.
You might be pleasantly surprised here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We saw a similar issue at our old school, lotteried to a WOTP school and found the pace and curriculum more challenging. HTH

This is interesting, because a lot of us who live over here in Ward 3 find our DCPS to be uninspiring and, with the exception of math, slow paced.

We find our EOTP Title I to be rigorous and demanding in Math, English and dual language Spanish. Since it's unhelpful to brag< i'll tell you the school-- Cleveland. There;s a lot of homework, and many kids are above grade level. Of all colors and income groups. Imagine that!

OP- your complaint about a high flying charter is something I have heard often. I agree with the PP who said don't be fooled by the latest trend -- make sure the curriculum does the basics well -- the extras are just that! Plus if you are not supplementing on weekends, hopefully you are exposing your child to DC's rich cultural offerings, having conversations about current events and things they observe or are reading. You can have far greater impact doing that than "supplementing," which could be counterproductive. I'm sure that is one of your many and varied reasons, so I don't question why you don't want to supplement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just can't stomach supplementing at home. School ought to be able to teach my kid what he needs to know, at an adequately challenging level, in 7 hours plus reasonable homework time.

I feel this way too. Kids should have time to play and just be kids for Christ sake.

In theory, I agree. In practice, it depends upon the classroom cohort.

If everyone in the classroom can perform at and above grade level this works just fine. If a significant percentage of the classroom is bringing their personal trauma (not their fault) with them, then the learning experience for everyone will be compromised - even those who could otherwise perform above expectations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:reading is the only supplement you need. If you know language - it's rhythms and moves - you'll do just fine. You can always get caught up in math, but vocabulary ect just takes lots and lots of reading. You have to encounter a new word three times before you know it and can use it.

If your idea of learning math is basic addition and subtraction.

I'd like my child to actually learn advance math skills, geometry, trigonometry - math is not an "afterthought" to me.

Your statement is the problem with this country.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:reading is the only supplement you need. If you know language - it's rhythms and moves - you'll do just fine. You can always get caught up in math, but vocabulary ect just takes lots and lots of reading. You have to encounter a new word three times before you know it and can use it.

If this were true, so many DCPS students wouldn't be performing so poorly.

Kids stop recreational reading in 2nd and 3rd grade. Parents stop reading to kids in 2nd or 3rd grade. I teach college and my classes break down into kids who like to read and those who don't. There is some correlation to curiosity. But I'm not sure what comes first (are curious kids more likely to be readers or are readers more likely to be curious). But curiosity and ability are almost always twined. When they are not, there is a reason (second language learning for those who are curious without ability or natural giftedness for those who have ability without curiosity - BTW this second set of kids don't fare well, the first does etc).