S/O Is it possible to have a happy family if you don't come from one?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I honestly think so, with therapy to help you understand and heal yourself. I also think once you have kids, it helps to be part of a supportive community, be it a church or a neighborhood or a mom's club, as a resource for information and emotional support. I think this becomes particularly important when you don't have family to rely on - you need to create your own extended family.

+1

DH came from a horribly dysfunctional family. Being around normal people, and seeing what a family is supposed to be, works wonders. He has a saying - "surround yourself with positive" - it could not be more true. And by all means, do NOT hold these dysfunctional people up by giving them jobs and handing over money, it only makes it worse.

[Anonymous]

Of course. I knew my family was a mess. As a teen, I identified what I didn't like at home and sought out healthy families. I spent as much time away from home as possible. I didn't date people with troubled backgrounds because I didn't need someone to fix. I made different choices and learned from friends what a family can look like when the focus is love. Married at 20 to someone with a wonderful and supportive family, who became my family too. Married 21 wonderful years.

[Anonymous]

Anything is possible, but I'd say you have an uphill battle. When people get stressed out they tend to fall back on old patterns. If you both try to rise above it, that's pretty good.

[Anonymous]

It is also possible to come from a great family and fall into dysfunctional ways. A good family takes constant work.