Latchkey kid: Can I ask 10 year old to text me when he gets on the bus or home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yep, texting an affirmative "I'm home safely." sort of message works. When I started doing this with DS, I put the fear of God in him by telling him that if I didn't get this or a call, the cops were getting called.

This the problem. Any normal person would occasionally forget to text upon arrival, and would sometimes have the phone at the bottom of the backpack where they wouldn't hear it ring. This would be true even of an adult, and surely true of any well-adjusted kid. By demanding a text every time, you are setting yourself up for extreme anxiety on those occasions when the kid forgets - or setting your kid up for extreme uptightness to make sure he/she is perfect 100 percent of the time.

And remember, kids walked to school and looked after themselves for many years before cell phones existed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep, texting an affirmative "I'm home safely." sort of message works. When I started doing this with DS, I put the fear of God in him by telling him that if I didn't get this or a call, the cops were getting called.

This the problem. Any normal person would occasionally forget to text upon arrival, and would sometimes have the phone at the bottom of the backpack where they wouldn't hear it ring. This would be true even of an adult, and surely true of any well-adjusted kid. By demanding a text every time, you are setting yourself up for extreme anxiety on those occasions when the kid forgets - or setting your kid up for extreme uptightness to make sure he/she is perfect 100 percent of the time.

And remember, kids walked to school and looked after themselves for many years before cell phones existed.

If remembering to text causes extreme anxiety, then you have an anxious kid to begin with. And do you really believe that this request alone creates an upright kid? It is setting up a habit, unlike other habits we want our kids to cultivate. Again, if a kid occasionally forgets, just call them.

Sure kids used to walk home without cell phones. We all did, but I'm sure there were plenty of anxious parents. One of the cool things about technology is that we can apply it to make our lives easier. My kids will continue to text me, and I assure you they are perfectly well adjusted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep, texting an affirmative "I'm home safely." sort of message works. When I started doing this with DS, I put the fear of God in him by telling him that if I didn't get this or a call, the cops were getting called.

This the problem. Any normal person would occasionally forget to text upon arrival, and would sometimes have the phone at the bottom of the backpack where they wouldn't hear it ring. This would be true even of an adult, and surely true of any well-adjusted kid. By demanding a text every time, you are setting yourself up for extreme anxiety on those occasions when the kid forgets - or setting your kid up for extreme uptightness to make sure he/she is perfect 100 percent of the time.

And remember, kids walked to school and looked after themselves for many years before cell phones existed.

If remembering to text causes extreme anxiety, then you have an anxious kid to begin with. And do you really believe that this request alone creates an upright kid? It is setting up a habit, unlike other habits we want our kids to cultivate. Again, if a kid occasionally forgets, just call them.

Sure kids used to walk home without cell phones. We all did, but I'm sure there were plenty of anxious parents. One of the cool things about technology is that we can apply it to make our lives easier. My kids will continue to text me, and I assure you they are perfectly well adjusted.

The PP said it's the adult that is set up for anxiety, not the kid. I agree - calling the cops because your kid forgot to text is ridiculous. If that's what you do (or even threaten to do), your kid shouldn't be coming home to an empty house or you should get an app/home security system like others have suggested. Don't waste police resources.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep, texting an affirmative "I'm home safely." sort of message works. When I started doing this with DS, I put the fear of God in him by telling him that if I didn't get this or a call, the cops were getting called.

This the problem. Any normal person would occasionally forget to text upon arrival, and would sometimes have the phone at the bottom of the backpack where they wouldn't hear it ring. This would be true even of an adult, and surely true of any well-adjusted kid. By demanding a text every time, you are setting yourself up for extreme anxiety on those occasions when the kid forgets - or setting your kid up for extreme uptightness to make sure he/she is perfect 100 percent of the time.

And remember, kids walked to school and looked after themselves for many years before cell phones existed.

No. You entirely missed my point. The point was to make sure he remembered. I was single at the time. He was younger than some folks here would think appropriate. It worked. One the one or two occasions he forgot, I reached him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep, texting an affirmative "I'm home safely." sort of message works. When I started doing this with DS, I put the fear of God in him by telling him that if I didn't get this or a call, the cops were getting called.

This the problem. Any normal person would occasionally forget to text upon arrival, and would sometimes have the phone at the bottom of the backpack where they wouldn't hear it ring. This would be true even of an adult, and surely true of any well-adjusted kid. By demanding a text every time, you are setting yourself up for extreme anxiety on those occasions when the kid forgets - or setting your kid up for extreme uptightness to make sure he/she is perfect 100 percent of the time.

And remember, kids walked to school and looked after themselves for many years before cell phones existed.

No. You entirely missed my point. The point was to make sure he remembered. I was single at the time. He was younger than some folks here would think appropriate. It worked. One the one or two occasions he forgot, I reached him.

I should also mention that we live in a part of the metro area frequently derided in these forums as horribly unsafe and no place a loving parent would send their kids to public school. As in, we have had people shot on our block, and a few years ago there was a PCP bust a few houses down. And yet, here we are. We still live here. The neighborhood's gotten nicer. I suspect that some of the same people on these forums who like to pull out the straw man argument of the overly-connected kid and helicopter mom while reminiscing about the good old days when we all ran around until the streetlights came on are the same people who would immediately move, never send their kids to that public school system, blah blah, and are in part why we had to have our own school forum created.

[Anonymous]

OP, I think it is fine to have your child call you to check in, when he returns home.

I don't think you should have him text you when he gets on the school bus. Don't have him text you just to relieve your own anxiety. That's not a good habit to develop.

You say the point of having him text you that he got ON the bus is so that you know you don't have to drive back home to get him to school. Well, if he misses the bus, that's when he should text you. Then you will know you need to come back and get him.

[Anonymous]

A note on the fridge saying "remember to text mom" works for us. They have to keep the phone on silent at school and sometimes forget to turn it back on. The fridge is the first place my kids go after school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep, texting an affirmative "I'm home safely." sort of message works. When I started doing this with DS, I put the fear of God in him by telling him that if I didn't get this or a call, the cops were getting called.

This the problem. Any normal person would occasionally forget to text upon arrival, and would sometimes have the phone at the bottom of the backpack where they wouldn't hear it ring. This would be true even of an adult, and surely true of any well-adjusted kid. By demanding a text every time, you are setting yourself up for extreme anxiety on those occasions when the kid forgets - or setting your kid up for extreme uptightness to make sure he/she is perfect 100 percent of the time.

And remember, kids walked to school and looked after themselves for many years before cell phones existed.

No. You entirely missed my point. The point was to make sure he remembered. I was single at the time. He was younger than some folks here would think appropriate. It worked. One the one or two occasions he forgot, I reached him.

My kids are required to text me when they got home from school. I would guess that the older ones forgot once or twice each. I didn't panic because I am of the opinion that if there is a problem, I will learn of it pretty quickly. But, I did talk to them about how it is common courtesy to let me know they are home since that is our agreement and their failure led me to worry unnecessarily. That's not fair and they need to do better. That's all it took for them to get consistent about letting me know. We don't have to have a conversation - just a simple two word text. So, OP, I don't see this as a problem. However, I do agree with others who say that you will know if there is a problem. If your kid misses the bus, he will call you. If he doesn't arrive at school, the school will call you.

[Anonymous]

Two things: I suggest a home phone for the times his phone is dead or he leaves it at school.

I also suggest changing your home door lock to a keyless lock so that he doesn't have to remember the house key.

These two things helped our transition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep, texting an affirmative "I'm home safely." sort of message works. When I started doing this with DS, I put the fear of God in him by telling him that if I didn't get this or a call, the cops were getting called.

This the problem. Any normal person would occasionally forget to text upon arrival, and would sometimes have the phone at the bottom of the backpack where they wouldn't hear it ring. This would be true even of an adult, and surely true of any well-adjusted kid. By demanding a text every time, you are setting yourself up for extreme anxiety on those occasions when the kid forgets - or setting your kid up for extreme uptightness to make sure he/she is perfect 100 percent of the time.

And remember, kids walked to school and looked after themselves for many years before cell phones existed.

No. You entirely missed my point. The point was to make sure he remembered. I was single at the time. He was younger than some folks here would think appropriate. It worked. One the one or two occasions he forgot, I reached him.

I should also mention that we live in a part of the metro area frequently derided in these forums as horribly unsafe and no place a loving parent would send their kids to public school. As in, we have had people shot on our block, and a few years ago there was a PCP bust a few houses down. And yet, here we are. We still live here. The neighborhood's gotten nicer. I suspect that some of the same people on these forums who like to pull out the straw man argument of the overly-connected kid and helicopter mom while reminiscing about the good old days when we all ran around until the streetlights came on are the same people who would immediately move, never send their kids to that public school system, blah blah, and are in part why we had to have our own school forum created.

I'm one of the PPs that said it is unreasonable to call the police when your DC doesn't call/text upon arriving home - or even to threaten to do if you're not actually going to do it. I don't make empty threats. I, too, live in an area disparaged on DCUM - The Alexandria section of FFX. My kids go to one of the Title 1 schools that's majority minority and lots of FARMS/ESOL students. While it's not SE, we have our share of violence/drugs in our neighborhood. I've never called the cops when my kid(s) forgot to call/text.

[Anonymous]

I'm most concerned that op even felt she had to ask this question, worded in this way

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Two things: I suggest a home phone for the times his phone is dead or he leaves it at school.

I also suggest changing your home door lock to a keyless lock so that he doesn't have to remember the house key.

These two things helped our transition.

Are there keyless locks that work without electricity? While more frequent and longer duration in the past, we still have random power outages.

[Anonymous]

We have a garage door opener that alerts my phone every time it opens and closes. My kid never remembers to text and this resolved it. He just punches in the code.

[Anonymous]

My kids (10 and 12) call me when they get home.

[Anonymous]

Are phones allowed in FCPS elementary schools?