Trump University 100% of the kids. |
PP here. Thanks for this post - it's good to hear from a former student. My daughter was also asking where the kids actually socialize - right now, she is at a school where the kids can just walk into town, no need to plan ahead all the time. Obviously, this is not the case at Potomac and there is no place to "hang out" in McLean as far as I know - do they kids go to Tysons? Hang out at each others homes? It's just so much more spread out than what she is used to so she was just trying to figure it out. Also, how easy/difficult is it to break into the social groups? She is concerned that students will be nice and polite on the surface and at school but that she will have a hard tome actually breaking into anything outside of school because so many of the kids have been friends for years and may live nearby. |
I have a good friend with a rising 9th grader who has been there since K. The Potomac lifers are just as excited as you are to have 40 new kids coming in. They want the new friendships, too. Parents? That's another story. It might take time to break into the parent cliques but it will happen with time. |
I would like to see this too - is it out yet? |
Unfortunately, I have found the PP's concern about friendliness at school not translating to a social life outside of school to be valid, even now that the end of my DC's first year there. Definitely only made friends with other new kids, and even they have not socialized once outside of school. DC likes to play things on the cool side though, so hasn't made tons of effort. I am pretty confident that another year will see some changes. Only in IS right now. |
PP here. I'm sorry to hear that is the case - that does really concern me. Are you happy with other aspects of the school? What makes you think the US will be better? |
We are happy with every other aspect of the school. Truly. And actually my DC is as well. The teachers, without exception, are fantastic. I think that things will get better mostly because, as is often the case, things sometimes just take time. Advisor reports that DC appears to have immediately fit in and found several groups of friends to spend breaks and lunch with. So I do think DC is just feeling very sensitive. Neither my DC or us have made an effort for things to happen outside of school--DC doesn't want to appear "desperate." I think the start of next year, DC will feel more comfortable. I will say, I have another friend who started in 7th a few years ago and reported the same thing. DC was happy enough and plenty of kids to hang out with at school, but no real bonding until 9th. What I heard from friend, and from others, is that there's real reshuffling that takes place with the arrival of a bigger group of new students and more opportunity for everyone to find their place beginning in 9th. Honestly, I would recommend Potomac to just about anybody, and if your DD is outgoing, I bet she won't have to take as much time as my DC to find her social life there. Good luck! |
PP thank you - that is really good to hear as our interactions with the school so far have been uneven and so we have been really starting to wonder if this is the right match. My kid is social but is worried about living far from the school and other students and not being super rich. Hopefully it will all work out! |
As the parent of a couple of lifers (or about to be lifers), the mixing with respect to the kids happens completely and the new kids totally stand on their own with no real judgement about being new. The parent cliques are frankly another story--a number of the parent groups are have been extremely close for 10-15 years (often going back before Potomac, to CDS and WGCC) and new parents are going to have a hard time breaking in. The one way that bleeds down into the kids is that often the lifer kids, especially those with parents who are social leaders, will be 'carried' by the more popular lifers in a way that would not otherwise have happened. It is actually kind of sweet in a sense. |
PP: How exactly is that sweet? Seems very cliquey, more than anything. |
Wow. This is a great summary. I was reading the responses and getting ready to post one of my own but I think you nailed it. It is a truly wonderful place. |
PP here. It is sweet in that you have kids that would objectively be considered to be somewhat dorky/bookworms feeling like they are fully a part of the school and the social scene and not excluded. Hard to describe until you (or your kid) has lived it but it is really nice. Honestly this is to many of us one of the main arguments for being a lifer at a K-12 school. |
OP here. This issue worries me as I have now heard it from several people. I understand of course that parents become friends over a number years - we have many such friends ourselves - but where we are, this pretty much stopped trickling into the kids social circles in middles school. In addition, even in high school, as a parent you want to be part of a welcoming and open parent community - how else are you going to feel comfortable calling the parents to find out what the kids are really up to on Saturday night? I also just think that this kind of cliquey vibe must send a message to their kids that it is is okay to be cliquey. |
As a Potomac parent, I don't find the "cliques" an issue. Just like anywhere, some people find comfort (and are likely more introverted) in what htey know- may have been friends for years, even before the kids started at school. There are plenty of other parents who are interested and eager to meet new families. There are ways to get involved and meet other parents, some may be in your kids' social cirlce but some not (it is a matter of chance I suppose) but I don't think Potomac is any different than other indep schools with people who have known each other and people who are still interested to meet others. Don't make this about you, its about the kids and you will find parents you enjoy! |
Meeting new parents will be hard, not because of cliques, but because by the later grades parents aren't that engaged in schools and school socializing.
The kids will be welcoming though. |