What to tell a kid who is in, but just doesn't get AAP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here's what I would say. I don't know who is going to be in your class each year (truth). It may change every year (truth). The school decides class placement (truth) so don't worry about it, you'll see get to see your friends. All true statements, and then plead ignorance of anything else.

OP here - that is very helpful. I wish I had thought to do that. As for all the other questions she asked, welp who knows. I came here for suggestions but I'll just wing it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here's what I would say. I don't know who is going to be in your class each year (truth). It may change every year (truth). The school decides class placement (truth) so don't worry about it, you'll see get to see your friends. All true statements, and then plead ignorance of anything else.

OP here - that is very helpful. I wish I had thought to do that. As for all the other questions she asked, welp who knows. I came here for suggestions but I'll just wing it.

She asked questions because she's curious. There is no reason to "plead ignorance of anything else."

You are looking for the best environment to challenge her. Why is that a bad thing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here's what I would say. I don't know who is going to be in your class each year (truth). It may change every year (truth). The school decides class placement (truth) so don't worry about it, you'll see get to see your friends. All true statements, and then plead ignorance of anything else.

OP here - that is very helpful. I wish I had thought to do that. As for all the other questions she asked, welp who knows. I came here for suggestions but I'll just wing it.

She asked questions because she's curious. There is no reason to "plead ignorance of anything else."

You are looking for the best environment to challenge her. Why is that a bad thing?

Because DCUM says it is. I agree with PP. Don't listen to people on here. It is a big deal and I'd tell my kid so. You're thinking too hard OP.

[Anonymous]

I don't agree with pleading ignorance. It's not about the secrecy, it's about the over telling what kids are capable of understanding at this age.

You can be factual without putting the rest of your emotion into the information you provide.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your child can't understand it, then your explanation is not clear. So just be clear and tell your child the truth.

I find it funny that parents are going on and on about how brilliant their children are, yet they somehow believe these brilliant children, with excellent critical thinking skills are somehow not going to be able to figure out what AAP is. How is it possible that parents think their kids should not be able to use their brilliant skills to figure out the situation?

My child is "highly gifted" per an IQ test...still believes in Santa and the tooth fairy. Your reasoning is flawed. It is dependent on what kids are told. Plenty of us are NOT advocating telling kids everything.

bottom line - AAP = smart kid

There is nothing tough or fantasy like about it. Yes, kids can and do figure it out.

[Anonymous]

So I told my kid everything through the whole process and about what it means to be in AAP level 4. I gave her the opportunity to give us input about what she wanted to do. We laid out that we would consider her opinions but that ultimately her father and I would make the final decision. We also explained that she shouldn't really be talking about this in school with the other kids so that no one feels left out or hurt. She grasped that concept and I believe she stuck to our request. Most likely if your kid has been chosen for this they're smart and will figure what the program is about. They will figure out if you lied to them. They can handle knowing what they are and are not. And if you've done your job as parents, they will have the compassion to not be braggarts or egotists.

[Anonymous]

Such an artificial dichotomy that AAP = smart, GenEd = not.

There are many kids who either barely missed admission or barely made it in.

The parents feed the hysteria to make sure their kids are known as "smart." Let's not perpetuate that with kids.

[Anonymous]

Everyone learns differently and is good at different things. The school, and your teachers and your dad and I think that want to make sure you end up in the class/ with the teacher who is right for you next year. We think that will be xxxx and that you are going to have an amazing year.

Only if asked-- yes, some of your friends from this year will probably be in your class. Some won't be. But you will still see them at lunch, at the playground, at Girl Scouts, etc., so you will still be friends. And we can still have play dates. You know, you're actually getting to be old enough for sleepovers...

End scene.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone learns differently and is good at different things. The school, and your teachers and your dad and I think that want to make sure you end up in the class/ with the teacher who is right for you next year. We think that will be xxxx and that you are going to have an amazing year.

Only if asked-- yes, some of your friends from this year will probably be in your class. Some won't be. But you will still see them at lunch, at the playground, at Girl Scouts, etc., so you will still be friends. And we can still have play dates. You know, you're actually getting to be old enough for sleepovers...

End scene.

Well said! +100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So I told my kid everything through the whole process and about what it means to be in AAP level 4. I gave her the opportunity to give us input about what she wanted to do. We laid out that we would consider her opinions but that ultimately her father and I would make the final decision. We also explained that she shouldn't really be talking about this in school with the other kids so that no one feels left out or hurt. She grasped that concept and I believe she stuck to our request. Most likely if your kid has been chosen for this they're smart and will figure what the program is about. They will figure out if you lied to them. They can handle knowing what they are and are not. And if you've done your job as parents, they will have the compassion to not be braggarts or egotists.

Mommy, why do you say that other kids might feel hurt and left out? So if I was chosen for this program, it means that I am smart. Will the other kids feel hurt because they are not smart like me?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Such an artificial dichotomy that AAP = smart, GenEd = not.

There are many kids who either barely missed admission or barely made it in.

The parents feed the hysteria to make sure their kids are known as "smart." Let's not perpetuate that with kids.

Brilliantly said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Such an artificial dichotomy that AAP = smart, GenEd = not.

There are many kids who either barely missed admission or barely made it in.

The parents feed the hysteria to make sure their kids are known as "smart." Let's not perpetuate that with kids.

Brilliantly said.

Yes. This.

Of course kids have always been at different levels, and this isn't about trying to make sure everyone is equal and warm fuzzies and group hugs.

But CENTERS (not AAP) makes this such a pronounced in or out, which is particularly ridiculous when there is such overlap between kids just admitted and those who just missed. I mean, really? If AAP could fully tell who was "gifted" there wouldn't be any need for an appeal process.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone learns differently and is good at different things. The school, and your teachers and your dad and I think that want to make sure you end up in the class/ with the teacher who is right for you next year. We think that will be xxxx and that you are going to have an amazing year.

Only if asked-- yes, some of your friends from this year will probably be in your class. Some won't be. But you will still see them at lunch, at the playground, at Girl Scouts, etc., so you will still be friends. And we can still have play dates. You know, you're actually getting to be old enough for sleepovers...

End scene.

OP here - thank you.

[Anonymous]

Op, kids know the truth - AAP sucks

[Anonymous]

Just tell, you are smart and gonna make momma proud.