My son wants to get an earring for his birthday

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would you feel differently if it was a daughter? That is what he wants and maintained his grades to get it, right?

NP. Yep, I'd feel differently if this was a DD. And that's not because I think there is anything wrong with earrings on men. Frankly, I don't care. But other people do, and I think body-altering choices--unless they are so mainstream as to be unnoticeable by anyone--are best left to adults.

My DS wanted an earring for a long time. I said no, not until you are 18. He said, "if I were a girl, you'd let me do it. I said, "True." He said, "That's sexist." I said, "It's a sexist world." ~shrug~

A few years later, he's 18, and he hasn't gotten around to getting the earring. I'm happy to support his choice in adulthood, either way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would you feel differently if it was a daughter? That is what he wants and maintained his grades to get it, right?

NP. Yep, I'd feel differently if this was a DD. And that's not because I think there is anything wrong with earrings on men. Frankly, I don't care. But other people do, and I think body-altering choices--unless they are so mainstream as to be unnoticeable by anyone--are best left to adults.

My DS wanted an earring for a long time. I said no, not until you are 18. He said, "if I were a girl, you'd let me do it. I said, "True." He said, "That's sexist." I said, "It's a sexist world." ~shrug~

A few years later, he's 18, and he hasn't gotten around to getting the earring. I'm happy to support his choice in adulthood, either way.

Meant to add: I was happy to let this same DS wear pink sparkly shoes in kindergarten and grow his hair long in middle school (down to the middle of his back). Body piercing is different. JMO.

[Anonymous]

I like the idea of the magnetic earring, too. I have a 13 yo DS, and if he still wanted it after a significant period of time, I'd let him do it. NBD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would you feel differently if it was a daughter? That is what he wants and maintained his grades to get it, right?

NP. Yep, I'd feel differently if this was a DD. And that's not because I think there is anything wrong with earrings on men. Frankly, I don't care. But other people do, and I think body-altering choices--unless they are so mainstream as to be unnoticeable by anyone--are best left to adults.

My DS wanted an earring for a long time. I said no, not until you are 18. He said, "if I were a girl, you'd let me do it. I said, "True." He said, "That's sexist." I said, "It's a sexist world." ~shrug~

A few years later, he's 18, and he hasn't gotten around to getting the earring. I'm happy to support his choice in adulthood, either way.

Meant to add: I was happy to let this same DS wear pink sparkly shoes in kindergarten and grow his hair long in middle school (down to the middle of his back). Body piercing is different. JMO.

At least you own your sexism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As long as I am supporting my children financially, any decisions they make to permanently alter their physical appearances, including body piercing, is subject to my final decision.

As soon as they are on their own after college, they can do as they wish.

You were like my dad when I was growing up!

And then I moved off to college and got my ear pierced eight times, got my nose pierced, navel pierced, two tattoos, etc.

[Anonymous]

Let him do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As long as I am supporting my children financially, any decisions they make to permanently alter their physical appearances, including body piercing, is subject to my final decision.

As soon as they are on their own after college, they can do as they wish.

You were like my dad when I was growing up!

And then I moved off to college and got my ear pierced eight times, got my nose pierced, navel pierced, two tattoos, etc.

You want a cookie?

[Anonymous]

DS also wanted one starting around age 13. We told him he had to wait until he was at least 16. He waited until then and got it done with his own money at age 16. Now at 18, he doesn't even wear it anymore and the hole has closed up. 12 is a bit young--I would put it off until at least high school and he may change his mind, or not.

[Anonymous]

I don't get why it's hard to say, "no"

[Anonymous]

As a father, I would say yes. Why not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would let him get it done.

Why?

He seems responsible, it's his personal expression, and it's not permanent. Why not?

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would let him get it done.

Why?

It's not permanent. What's the harm?

It most certainly is permanent. I had second and third holes put in my ears in 1990, and stopped wearing earrings in them in the mid-90s. That was 20 years ago and they have not closed - and are noticeable.

You are right, it's going to completely eff up his future. For the sake of your child, don't do it! Think of all the missed opportunities he will have because of the pin sized intentions in his ears!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a father, I would say yes. Why not?

Agreed. I would say yes to a son or daughter if they were otherwise responsible. It's his ears. So what?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't get why it's hard to say, "no"

It's hard to say no because there's no good reason to say no. Or, anyway, that's why it would be hard for me to say no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS will be turning 12 in a few weeks and wants his ears pierced. He wants both pierced but is fine with only his left ear. Dh isn't thrilled with the idea but he's maintaining all A's and B's in school and is well behaved for his age. It's going to be hard to say "no" to him. He says he wants to step up his swag.

Do you have rules for piercings? Follow those.

My parents rule was no piercings before 16. I'm keeping the same rules for my kids assuming they are responsible.

It sounds to me like he's asking to be allowed to "grow up" a little.

What are some ways he can do that without a piercing?

Can he step up his "swag" in other ways?

My other thought is good grades doesn't always translate to responsible enough to take care of a piercing.