Anyone have teen boys that do no organized sports?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you force it?

DS is in fencing. He is better with an individual sport instead of a team sport.

Same with my DS. He tried team sports and didn't like them so he started fencing at age 7 or 8 and loved it.

Fencing sounds like such a cool idea! How did he get started? My son is almost 13 and we live in DC.

[Anonymous]

Our kids have to play a sport each season. They pick the sport.

A lot of what I feel is required to teach my kids to be prepared for adulthood they would not necessarily choose to do on their own. These skills include laundry, cooking, mowing the grass, sewing, and being proficient in sports (and many more).

[Anonymous]

My brother also was never into sports. He tried skiing and golf and liked them okay, and my parents liked that they kept him somewhat active. But he wasn't into them for his whole life. He really enjoyed building model cars and detailing cars, so instead of spending his summers playing some sport, he detailed the neighbor's cars and the cars of my parents' co-workers for $25 a pop. It wasn't an athletic pursuit but it was a constructive use of time, which I feel is the real key.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you force it?

DS is in fencing. He is better with an individual sport instead of a team sport.

Same with my DS. He tried team sports and didn't like them so he started fencing at age 7 or 8 and loved it.

Fencing sounds like such a cool idea! How did he get started? My son is almost 13 and we live in DC.

He started with a Learn to Fence program and has done it twice weekly ever since. Looks like there are 2 fencing clubs in DC.


http://www.nationalcapitalfencersclub.com/


http://dcfencing.com/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you force it?

DS is in fencing. He is better with an individual sport instead of a team sport.

Same with my DS. He tried team sports and didn't like them so he started fencing at age 7 or 8 and loved it.

Fencing sounds like such a cool idea! How did he get started? My son is almost 13 and we live in DC.

He started with a Learn to Fence program and has done it twice weekly ever since. Looks like there are 2 fencing clubs in DC.


http://www.nationalcapitalfencersclub.com/


http://dcfencing.com/

There is also an academy in Rockville -- http://www.urfencing.com/. I've mentioned it to my DS on several occasions, but never been able to get him to go check it out.

[Anonymous]

My teen boy doesn't like sports and never did anything on a team after about 3rd grade. Just not his thing. He isn't into the team atmosphere or competitive by nature. He doesn't like watching professional sports either. He's more sedentary than some but healthy and relatively thin too, so I'm not worried.

There is a big expectation that boys (and girls) do sports and being on the outside of that can be hard at times.

[Anonymous]

DC's private school requires one sport a year. We didn't send him there for sports. All teams are no cut and everyone gets to play. So he plays a sport every year. Very low key school. Usually at the bottom of whatever division they play in with some good years sometimes.

DC does not have an athletic bone in body. School thinks team sports are good for community building and I agree.

[Anonymous]

I didn't play sports on HS, although I'm a girl not a boy, I always felt like I was on the outside. Like if I had a team sport life would just have been somehow easier. Or I would've made more friends or had more confidence. I probably use it as an excuse ....but I did grow up in a community where being an athlete just seemed to make you more accepted.

[Anonymous]

Tennis is great -- one private lesson on the weekend and your son will be fine to play on a team or with friends for fun. It's been amazing for my son, but you must have good hand/eye coordination.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn't play sports on HS, although I'm a girl not a boy, I always felt like I was on the outside. Like if I had a team sport life would just have been somehow easier. Or I would've made more friends or had more confidence. I probably use it as an excuse ....but I did grow up in a community where being an athlete just seemed to make you more accepted.

I grew up playing sports and when I went off to college and played a sport, it wasn't that I was on the "inside" of something, but I arrived at school with a set of built in friends. Even though I didn't know them beforehand, I had people to eat with, sit by in class, etc. This was a tremendous help, especially since I was over 2 hours from home. These girls are still among my best friends.

[Anonymous]

Well, I will admit that I did force my son to play sports, year round (basketball, lacrosse, and flag). First year I invested a ton of money in lax gear. He hated it. He hated it because he was not as good as many of the other kids. He hated it because he was not as coordinated and the sport is very technical. He would sometimes cry on the way to games. He ended up loving lacrosse and made the travel team. the first summer of travel he fractured his toe. He was crying and crying that he could not play lax for a few weeks. He then was laughing at himself that he used to wish he would break his leg so he did not have to play.

Similar thing happened when he started basketball. He actually cried in the middle of the game beucase he kept on double dribbling and getting calls made on him. He had one game where he was on fire and scored. Ever since then his confidence went through the roof.

The reason I forced him is because I knew the ONLY reason he did not want to do the sports is because he lacked confidence and felt like he did not measure up. As he practiced and got better, he gained his confidence and now would be devastated if I made him opt out. I would not have forced him had he had other interests that took priority. I knew in my heart that he just needed to build his abilities and then he would be OK.

I'm not saying this is for everyone, but for me, as a parent, I will not nurture my kids fears and insecurities. I'm all about building confidence through accomplishments (not just by words and a "good job") and through them working hard and being proud of what they have done on their own. I think the sports and stick with it has served my formerly shy and insecure son well and helped turn him into a confident and proud young man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, I will admit that I did force my son to play sports, year round (basketball, lacrosse, and flag). First year I invested a ton of money in lax gear. He hated it. He hated it because he was not as good as many of the other kids. He hated it because he was not as coordinated and the sport is very technical. He would sometimes cry on the way to games. He ended up loving lacrosse and made the travel team. the first summer of travel he fractured his toe. He was crying and crying that he could not play lax for a few weeks. He then was laughing at himself that he used to wish he would break his leg so he did not have to play.

Similar thing happened when he started basketball. He actually cried in the middle of the game beucase he kept on double dribbling and getting calls made on him. He had one game where he was on fire and scored. Ever since then his confidence went through the roof.

The reason I forced him is because I knew the ONLY reason he did not want to do the sports is because he lacked confidence and felt like he did not measure up. As he practiced and got better, he gained his confidence and now would be devastated if I made him opt out. I would not have forced him had he had other interests that took priority. I knew in my heart that he just needed to build his abilities and then he would be OK.

I'm not saying this is for everyone, but for me, as a parent, I will not nurture my kids fears and insecurities. I'm all about building confidence through accomplishments (not just by words and a "good job") and through them working hard and being proud of what they have done on their own. I think the sports and stick with it has served my formerly shy and insecure son well and helped turn him into a confident and proud young man.

This is a great example of how each situation is unique. it worked for this poster, but could easily have backfired and resulted in a frustrated and angry child. I think it is part knowing your kid as a parent, but also (maybe more so) luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tennis is great -- one private lesson on the weekend and your son will be fine to play on a team or with friends for fun. It's been amazing for my son, but you must have good hand/eye coordination.

You do mean for several months, at least, right? No one is going to be able to play on a tennis team after 1 private lesson.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, I will admit that I did force my son to play sports, year round (basketball, lacrosse, and flag). First year I invested a ton of money in lax gear. He hated it. He hated it because he was not as good as many of the other kids. He hated it because he was not as coordinated and the sport is very technical. He would sometimes cry on the way to games. He ended up loving lacrosse and made the travel team. the first summer of travel he fractured his toe. He was crying and crying that he could not play lax for a few weeks. He then was laughing at himself that he used to wish he would break his leg so he did not have to play.

Similar thing happened when he started basketball. He actually cried in the middle of the game beucase he kept on double dribbling and getting calls made on him. He had one game where he was on fire and scored. Ever since then his confidence went through the roof.

The reason I forced him is because I knew the ONLY reason he did not want to do the sports is because he lacked confidence and felt like he did not measure up. As he practiced and got better, he gained his confidence and now would be devastated if I made him opt out. I would not have forced him had he had other interests that took priority. I knew in my heart that he just needed to build his abilities and then he would be OK.

I'm not saying this is for everyone, but for me, as a parent, I will not nurture my kids fears and insecurities. I'm all about building confidence through accomplishments (not just by words and a "good job") and through them working hard and being proud of what they have done on their own. I think the sports and stick with it has served my formerly shy and insecure son well and helped turn him into a confident and proud young man.

+1 . There is really no excuse not to play just one team sport on the rec level. Like anything else that requires a skill, it doesn't get really fun until you obtain a certain level of mastery--I'm thinking piano lessons, art, math, reading, etc. Also, whether you care to admit it or not, among boys, the ability to join in on a team sport gives one a huge leg up socially. It's not just about making money and certainly not about getting a college scholarship, or even about fitness (which one can obtain by oneself) but about the ability to make friends and acquaintances throughout life. It's about also the ability to appreciate sports as a spectator. Winning and losing as a team, learning how to win and lose gracefully, and to endure through struggle are major life lessons that are most easily taught by playing a team sport.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, I will admit that I did force my son to play sports, year round (basketball, lacrosse, and flag). First year I invested a ton of money in lax gear. He hated it. He hated it because he was not as good as many of the other kids. He hated it because he was not as coordinated and the sport is very technical. He would sometimes cry on the way to games. He ended up loving lacrosse and made the travel team. the first summer of travel he fractured his toe. He was crying and crying that he could not play lax for a few weeks. He then was laughing at himself that he used to wish he would break his leg so he did not have to play.

Similar thing happened when he started basketball. He actually cried in the middle of the game beucase he kept on double dribbling and getting calls made on him. He had one game where he was on fire and scored. Ever since then his confidence went through the roof.

The reason I forced him is because I knew the ONLY reason he did not want to do the sports is because he lacked confidence and felt like he did not measure up. As he practiced and got better, he gained his confidence and now would be devastated if I made him opt out. I would not have forced him had he had other interests that took priority. I knew in my heart that he just needed to build his abilities and then he would be OK.

I'm not saying this is for everyone, but for me, as a parent, I will not nurture my kids fears and insecurities. I'm all about building confidence through accomplishments (not just by words and a "good job") and through them working hard and being proud of what they have done on their own. I think the sports and stick with it has served my formerly shy and insecure son well and helped turn him into a confident and proud young man.

This is a great example of how each situation is unique. it worked for this poster, but could easily have backfired and resulted in a frustrated and angry child. I think it is part knowing your kid as a parent, but also (maybe more so) luck.

+1 This approach works for some kids but absolutely would not work with my DD. We encouraged her to be active outside of team sports, brought her along to DS's games so she knew what they were about, sent her to camps that included some sports along with other activities, but never told her she HAD TO play a sport. She finally expressed interest in 4th grade and we went with it then (individual, not team). She's a kid who if we'd forced her to go to soccer in 1st grade would have stood on the sidelines and absolutely refused to participate. Why do that to her or to the coach.