Communion w/out my approval

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am Catholic - my in laws are Methodist.

We are raising my daughter catholic.

Then a) It wasn't communion according to the teachings of your church, it was a snack of bread and grape juice.

b) Either they knew enough about Catholic teaching to know that what they were doing was obnoxious, or they didn't have a clue.

What is their knowledge of Catholicism? Have they been disrespectful of your religion in other ways?

Not disrespectful, but...they are not fans. They know that we've been planning for her first communion.

Ok, with that added bit of knowledge, yes, be annoyed. Talk with your daughter about it, and I hope DH also talks with his parents. That was pretty shitty of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter spend the day with my in-laws last Sunday. I found out they:

1. Took her to their church
2. Had her take communion.

I'm really bothered by this. IF and when we decided for my daughter to have her first communion - Shouldnt that be something for us to do as a family?

Your in-laws probably know nothing about transubstantiation. You should teach them, so they will know that their stale bread and grape juice had no effect on your daughter They've just wasted everyone's time.

Yes, that will work well. Disrespect their belief because they disrespected yours. Intentionally or not. That would be a good, mature way to handle it.

OP, tell your inlaws that your daughter is not to participate in communion at their church again. Explain that to your daughter as well.

Invite them to her first communion so they can be a part of it, and maybe gain some understanding of your beliefs, and what you want your daughter to learn.

and good luck doing that without causing hard feelings.

Oh, please. As if what the ILs did wasn't meant to disregard the OP and her DH's feelings?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am Catholic - my in laws are Methodist.

We are raising my daughter catholic.

Then a) It wasn't communion according to the teachings of your church, it was a snack of bread and grape juice.

b) Either they knew enough about Catholic teaching to know that what they were doing was obnoxious, or they didn't have a clue.

What is their knowledge of Catholicism? Have they been disrespectful of your religion in other ways?

Not disrespectful, but...they are not fans. They know that we've been planning for her first communion.

Ok, with that added bit of knowledge, yes, be annoyed. Talk with your daughter about it, and I hope DH also talks with his parents. That was pretty shitty of them.

Just because they knew about the plan for a Catholic first holy communion doesn't mean they thought the methodist one would interfere

[Anonymous]

I am Catholic. ILs are Methodist. It wouldn't bother me. I think of it as a little snack. Nothing more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I completely understand why you are upset. One thing to consider in how to proceed is how your daughter is reacting. Yes, it's important to explain the difference between what you believe and what the grandparents believe, but you don't want her to get the feeling she did something wrong. (You really don't want this to be something that she internalizes.)

She'll find out eventually that she and her grandparents did something wrong. The importance of communion is taught in catechism.

She absolutely did not do anything wrong. Maybe the grandparents didn't either if they do not know anything about Catholicism. It's ip to the OP to determine if they allowed her to receive communion with ignorance of her faith and that of her mother or if they were being disrespectful. In no case did the child do anything wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I completely understand why you are upset. One thing to consider in how to proceed is how your daughter is reacting. Yes, it's important to explain the difference between what you believe and what the grandparents believe, but you don't want her to get the feeling she did something wrong. (You really don't want this to be something that she internalizes.)

She'll find out eventually that she and her grandparents did something wrong. The importance of communion is taught in catechism.

She absolutely did not do anything wrong. Maybe the grandparents didn't either if they do not know anything about Catholicism. It's ip to the OP to determine if they allowed her to receive communion with ignorance of her faith and that of her mother or if they were being disrespectful. In no case did the child do anything wrong.

+1

[Anonymous]

In the Protestant churches, anyone can have communion as long as they've been baptized. Don't make this a hill you die on. If it really bothers you, then send your kid to camp during spring break instead of looking for free childcare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up presbyterian and Methodist.

Communion is not a big deal in those churches. Little kids "take communion"just by reaching up and grabbing a crackers as the tray passes over them.

Chill. They were not trying to indoctrinate her into your religion. They just let her take her cracker like every other kid in the church is allowed to do.

+1. OP, think about this as the First Methodist Cracker, not the First Communion...

+2 OP you may want to review First Holy Communion prep with your daughter when her time comes because you really don't understand the difference between what Methodists believe and what Carholics believe. They did nothing wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am Catholic - my in laws are Methodist.

We are raising my daughter catholic.

Then a) It wasn't communion according to the teachings of your church, it was a snack of bread and grape juice.

b) Either they knew enough about Catholic teaching to know that what they were doing was obnoxious, or they didn't have a clue.

What is their knowledge of Catholicism? Have they been disrespectful of your religion in other ways?

Not disrespectful, but...they are not fans. They know that we've been planning for her first communion.

Ok, with that added bit of knowledge, yes, be annoyed. Talk with your daughter about it, and I hope DH also talks with his parents. That was pretty shitty of them.

Just because they knew about the plan for a Catholic first holy communion doesn't mean they thought the methodist one would interfere

Sin of omission or commission? Probably the latter, but do not mention this to them or your DD. Probably what will happen is that they will get more passive aggressive and say things like "But your mommy doesn't want you to go to our church..." This is the time when you ask yourself WWJD?

I would definitely have a heart to heart with your DH though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am Catholic - my in laws are Methodist.

We are raising my daughter catholic.

Then a) It wasn't communion according to the teachings of your church, it was a snack of bread and grape juice.

b) Either they knew enough about Catholic teaching to know that what they were doing was obnoxious, or they didn't have a clue.

What is their knowledge of Catholicism? Have they been disrespectful of your religion in other ways?

Not disrespectful, but...they are not fans. They know that we've been planning for her first communion.

If they knew you were preparing for First Communion, their actions sound very passive aggressive. I would be really upset if this happened to me and my kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am Catholic - my in laws are Methodist.

We are raising my daughter catholic.

Then a) It wasn't communion according to the teachings of your church, it was a snack of bread and grape juice.

b) Either they knew enough about Catholic teaching to know that what they were doing was obnoxious, or they didn't have a clue.

What is their knowledge of Catholicism? Have they been disrespectful of your religion in other ways?

Not disrespectful, but...they are not fans. They know that we've been planning for her first communion.

If they knew you were preparing for First Communion, their actions sound very passive aggressive. I would be really upset if this happened to me and my kids.

Methodist vs Catholic communion -- a hill to die on

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I completely understand why you are upset. One thing to consider in how to proceed is how your daughter is reacting. Yes, it's important to explain the difference between what you believe and what the grandparents believe, but you don't want her to get the feeling she did something wrong. (You really don't want this to be something that she internalizes.)

She'll find out eventually that she and her grandparents did something wrong. The importance of communion is taught in catechism.

Nobody did anything wrong. In Protestant churches communion is a symbolic ceremony that anybody can participate in. Catholics can go to Protestant churches and share in a symbolic ceremony. For them it does not fulfill their obligation to go to mass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am Catholic - my in laws are Methodist.

We are raising my daughter catholic.

Then a) It wasn't communion according to the teachings of your church, it was a snack of bread and grape juice.

b) Either they knew enough about Catholic teaching to know that what they were doing was obnoxious, or they didn't have a clue.

What is their knowledge of Catholicism? Have they been disrespectful of your religion in other ways?

Not disrespectful, but...they are not fans. They know that we've been planning for her first communion.

If they knew you were preparing for First Communion, their actions sound very passive aggressive. I would be really upset if this happened to me and my kids.

I'm the PP who posted about not knowing I couldn't take Catholic Communion until my brother married a Catholic. I know my niece is preparing for her first communion. My recent experience is at Methodist and Episcopalian churches. With my knowledge that Catholic Communion is this special thing that only Catholics can do and that they believe in a literal transubstantiation, until reading this thread it would literally have not occurred to me to keep my niece from participating in the Episcopalian communion if she had come to church with us.

Of course while we belong to a church it's more for my husband's beliefs than mine and I'm not particularly religious, so it's entirely possible that in this case it was in fact a passive aggressive jab at OP's beliefs. But in general I like to go through life assuming the best of people and their motives, so would suggest to OP that for the sake of family harmony she chalk this up to ignorance / thoughtlessness on her IL's part and just clarify with them and with her daughter that she wants her daughter to wait to take ANY kind of communion until after her Catholic First Communion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: it was a snack of bread and grape juice.

This is the most offensive thing I have ever heard in my life. Methodists believe in the Real Presence. It is NOT a snack, it is a sacrament.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be very upset if I were Catholic. I am sure it was accidental.

I am extremely annoyed. The first communion is special, it means something. Even if it "didn't count"

I'm Catholic and we are raising our kids Catholic and this isn't something that would bother me. As far as catholic teachings go it doesn't count, and I think it is important to learn about all religions.

I'm Catholic and it wouldn't have bothered me at all. It wasn't really the Body and Blood that your child received. I'd compare it to her with the in consecrated hosts the kids get for practice in CCD.