Can I get rid of this sentimental thing from MIL?

[Anonymous]

UGH!!! OP, I feel your pain, my in-laws and husband's crazy spinster aunt love to give us what I refer to internally as "their old shit" but of course would never say that in person. One year for Christmas, spinster aunt gave us her father's old carving knives - they were cheap with plastic handles and the knife was so dull that our sharpener did nothing on that thing. DH refuses to throw them out, his parents have come to our house for Thanksgiving every once in a while, so they have to be available for that. Another year, MIL gave my DD an old toy that I am pretty confident has lead and mold in it. I wrapped it in plastic and stuck it in the basement. But of course everything valuable (the actual antiques) are ONLY given to my SIL who now has precious artwork and beautiful antique furniture. We've expressed interest in the real antiques, and even specifically asked for one or two things when they are ready to part with them but have been told they are earmarked for SIL.

I tried to accidentally lose things in our last move, but somehow things that accidentally ended up in one of our donate bags were found by MIL who apparently went through every single bag. She also took a whole bunch of stuff from that pile home with her (like torn sheets and a rusted old wine rack). My ILs are so freaking weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:UGH!!! OP, I feel your pain, my in-laws and husband's crazy spinster aunt love to give us what I refer to internally as "their old shit" but of course would never say that in person. One year for Christmas, spinster aunt gave us her father's old carving knives - they were cheap with plastic handles and the knife was so dull that our sharpener did nothing on that thing. DH refuses to throw them out, his parents have come to our house for Thanksgiving every once in a while, so they have to be available for that. Another year, MIL gave my DD an old toy that I am pretty confident has lead and mold in it. I wrapped it in plastic and stuck it in the basement. But of course everything valuable (the actual antiques) are ONLY given to my SIL who now has precious artwork and beautiful antique furniture. We've expressed interest in the real antiques, and even specifically asked for one or two things when they are ready to part with them but have been told they are earmarked for SIL.

I tried to accidentally lose things in our last move, but somehow things that accidentally ended up in one of our donate bags were found by MIL who apparently went through every single bag. She also took a whole bunch of stuff from that pile home with her (like torn sheets and a rusted old wine rack). My ILs are so freaking weird.

Tell SIL! Have DH talk to her. Tell her, "Susan, it's a weird dynamic that isn't your problem, but I'm wondering if you'll let Bob and I have X and/or Y, because we have been offered none of the furniture or antiques that mean a lot to him."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Give it to Goodwill. Someone will love them.

And I don't understand why some posters are being mean. It's one box, but if you start thinking like that for everything, your house quickly becomes unlivable, particularly for people in normal-sized houses, not McMansions.

In the future, resist all similar gifts!

Your last comment may come back to haunt you when you are the giver.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Give it to Goodwill. Someone will love them.

And I don't understand why some posters are being mean. It's one box, but if you start thinking like that for everything, your house quickly becomes unlivable, particularly for people in normal-sized houses, not McMansions.

In the future, resist all similar gifts!

Your last comment may come back to haunt you when you are the giver.

So as a giver, you would think it a terrible fate for someone to tell you honestly that they don't want a gift you purchased for yourself and are trying to pass off? You are the problem!

[Anonymous]

Do you have kids? Let their friends each choose one ... at a birthday party or some event. I imagine the sailor teddy bears would be a big hit if YOU and not your MIL had that particular collection. But kids love tchotchkie. Rehome them in a gentle way ....

[Anonymous]

Wait until she dies.

[Anonymous]

Arrange them on a table and take a photo of them. Take several until you get a good one.

Blow it up, mat and frame it x 2. One for you, one for MIL.

[Anonymous]

I pity people who hold onto crap and call it memories. I say this as an orphan. Throw it out.

[Anonymous]

If your MIL wanted these bears, she would have kept them. She did not want them, so she unloaded them on you. You have kept them for 10 years out of obligation. DONATE!

If you want, you can keep 2 or 3 for your kids. I'd still keep them in a box (lest your MIL see them out and ask about the rest).

You have more curios in your future, don't worry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Arrange them on a table and take a photo of them. Take several until you get a good one.

Blow it up, mat and frame it x 2. One for you, one for MIL.

Um then you have a picture of crap that you have to display. And you'll get the one you give MIL back some day! Don't do this. Don't make useless stuff into MORE stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your MIL wanted these bears, she would have kept them. She did not want them, so she unloaded them on you. You have kept them for 10 years out of obligation. DONATE!

If you want, you can keep 2 or 3 for your kids. I'd still keep them in a box (lest your MIL see them out and ask about the rest).

You have more curios in your future, don't worry.

+1. I have two china cabinets filled with beautiful but non-functional items like tea cups, Grandma's china, etc because I was the designated recipient for all of the "oh but we have to keep this in the family" stuff. I love what I have and it's all very pretty but two large china cabinets in a one bedroom apartment devoted to items we can't really use is tough, plus the two boxes of other stuff in my closet. I've finally, after years, worked up the nerve to turn down any additional stuff from the family.

If it is that precious and critical to keep in the family, one of the many family members with a house and basement to store it in will find a way to keep it. Otherwise, it can't be that important and should be donated so someone else can enjoy it.

[Anonymous]

I have recently ce to the opinion that people give gifts for a lot of reasons: because they want to have the special moment when they give you the gift, because they honestly believe it is something you will use and enjoy, or because they want to be remembered fondly whenever you see or use a certain item. These are not exclusive. People do not give gifts to be the butt of inside jokes or to be resented every time you look at the gift. Your MIL already had her moment, and there is no way you are ever going to look at these and think fondly of her. So, they have served their purpose as gifts to you. And now you can get rid of them without guilt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait until she dies.

+1. Not worth the grief you and DH will endure if she finds out. When she is dead or mentally incapacitated, you can give them away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have recently ce to the opinion that people give gifts for a lot of reasons: because they want to have the special moment when they give you the gift, because they honestly believe it is something you will use and enjoy, or because they want to be remembered fondly whenever you see or use a certain item. These are not exclusive. People do not give gifts to be the butt of inside jokes or to be resented every time you look at the gift. Your MIL already had her moment, and there is no way you are ever going to look at these and think fondly of her. So, they have served their purpose as gifts to you. And now you can get rid of them without guilt.

I can add another reason - sometimes people want to give someone else the obligation of owning their things for them. They are ready to remove an item from their space, but instead of dealing with their own goodbye/acknowledgement to that particular object, they pass it along to someone else to hold for them. Then they don't have to deal with having it in their space anymore AND don't have to deal with really parting with it either. This was my take on OP's situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:UGH!!! OP, I feel your pain, my in-laws and husband's crazy spinster aunt love to give us what I refer to internally as "their old shit" but of course would never say that in person. One year for Christmas, spinster aunt gave us her father's old carving knives - they were cheap with plastic handles and the knife was so dull that our sharpener did nothing on that thing. DH refuses to throw them out, his parents have come to our house for Thanksgiving every once in a while, so they have to be available for that. Another year, MIL gave my DD an old toy that I am pretty confident has lead and mold in it. I wrapped it in plastic and stuck it in the basement. But of course everything valuable (the actual antiques) are ONLY given to my SIL who now has precious artwork and beautiful antique furniture. We've expressed interest in the real antiques, and even specifically asked for one or two things when they are ready to part with them but have been told they are earmarked for SIL.

I tried to accidentally lose things in our last move, but somehow things that accidentally ended up in one of our donate bags were found by MIL who apparently went through every single bag. She also took a whole bunch of stuff from that pile home with her (like torn sheets and a rusted old wine rack). My ILs are so freaking weird.

You have my sympathy, pp. Your MIL doesn't want her DIL to end up with the family heirlooms. SIL was given all the grandmother's nicest jewelry and sterling and would have received all MIL's jewelry. Sadly, SIL died unexpectedly and now her 6 year old is due to inherit everything from all three women. That's a lot for a young person to be responsible for but the family will respect their wishes.