He's 45 and never been married

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know plenty of guys who have never married by that age.

Some genuinely have no interest in getting married, and they tend to say that upfront.

Others are completely open to it if they meet the right girl, but it's not something that drives them to do anything out of the ordinary. A lot of my guy friends like this have in fact met someone and married, late in life. For the most part, they're normal guys, maybe a little pickier than some of their peers.

A few are single and obsessed with finding the girl, so they are constantly online, looking for love. Some of these guys have codependency issues or completely unrealistic expectations or other issues.

I think this is your best answer so far. And I especially agree with the last bit. Any single guy who keeps talking about "the one" as if it's some magical perfect fantasy woman--those guys always have serious issues.

[Anonymous]

My best friend of 30+ years got married first time at 45. He was a total late bloomer and very much into his career.
He's been three times the husband and father that I have been.
YMMV

[Anonymous]

I think if a guy hasn't married by 45, his odds go down even if he professes to want to marry. Something has held him back. Its either lip service to string you along, or he's oddly picky, or something.

[Anonymous]

Because a man without a woman is like a bicycle without a fish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fear of commitment or he is short, fat, bald, ugly. Maybe all of those.

He's 5'8", not fat, not bald, not ugly. He's in GREAT shape. He's awesome in bed and will try anything. He's romantic, thoughtful, hot for me. He has said that he wants to get married and have a child but hasn't found "the one".

The word choice is interesting here. He hasn't found "the one," that's what he said? Cause sounds like you aren't "the one" for him either.

[Anonymous]

Guy here.
If I didn't knock up my gf when I was 27 I probably will still be single.
I'm afraid of marriage but took the plunge for my unborn child. I effed up for I'm divorced now. Nothing wrong with him he just knows what he wants before getting buried...sorry I meant married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Said that he has never found the right girl. He's a great guy, has an awesome job. Makes good money. Has a great family. He should have been taken years ago. What am I missing?

Probably nothing! You may have hit the jackpot. My DH was 44 when we met and I could have said the same thing. Go for it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fear of commitment or he is short, fat, bald, ugly. Maybe all of those.

He's 5'8", not fat, not bald, not ugly. He's in GREAT shape. He's awesome in bed and will try anything. He's romantic, thoughtful, hot for me. He has said that he wants to get married and have a child but hasn't found "the one".

Why is baldness always looked at so negatively? I'm 6', good shape, and have thinning hair. Feel like women are going to look at me like a loser.

Nah. Most women I know, myself included, aren't at all phased by thinning hair or bald men.

Fazed, people. FAZED!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Married to his career all these years, perhaps? He's getting older and surely is feeling a shift in who would consider him a prospect. Sometimes a change in market forces causes a change in tune!

Why? His value continues to rise. Men age like fine wine, women age like milk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because a man without a woman is like a bicycle without a fish.

Amen

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Married to his career all these years, perhaps? He's getting older and surely is feeling a shift in who would consider him a prospect. Sometimes a change in market forces causes a change in tune!

Why? His value continues to rise. Men age like fine wine, women age like milk.

...In your fantasy

[Anonymous]

In real life, darling. Sorry to break it to you. His wallet gets fatter while your tits get saggier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Said that he has never found the right girl. He's a great guy, has an awesome job. Makes good money. Has a great family. He should have been taken years ago. What am I missing?

Probably nothing! You may have hit the jackpot. My DH was 44 when we met and I could have said the same thing. Go for it!

+1 DH was the same age when we married. He's 5'8" so a little on the short side but a true family aman, romantic and wealthy and with a great job. Jackpot!

[Anonymous]

Som gems just fall through the cracks. Married my DH when he was 42 and I was 32. He was a classic late bloomer. Three kids together and happy.

[Anonymous]

Have you ever considered that it might be by plan? I dated and was engaged to a woman for a big chunk of my 20s and in the end it simply didn't work out. We were just starting out in our careers and trying to live cheap in Alexandria, but our #1 issue to argue about always revolved around money and mostly the lack of it. Secondly, she had trouble sticking with a steady job, grew to hate the area, and finally wanted nothing more than to leave for anywhere else.

After being single for a while I then found it then a lot easier to focus on myself, my career, and saving for the future. And then all of the sudden I wasn't in that big of a hurry. I've lived here my entire adult life and have seen many friends and colleagues of all ages get married off. The pairs that seem REALLY, REALLY happy (and you can always tell when it's true) often seem to be 40/50-something men with 30-something wives. And the husbands typically have a great paying job, while the wives' vocations have run the gamut.

You have to remember that DC is a huge draw from everywhere between Wisconsin to Pennsylvania and all over the South. A new, fresh-faced batch of 22-year olds land in DC & Arlington every summer. Some of the women in that batch will stick around and settle in DC for a career. I don't see myself living/working anywhere other than DC at this point, so it's ok if it takes some time to find a match. But I'm always looking in the meantime.