He's 45 and never been married

[Anonymous]

has he had any long term relationships? How does he describe his previous girlfriends? What are his deal breakers?

[Anonymous]

I'm pretty sick of some women assuming everyone wants to settle down as much as they do.

[Anonymous]

My best friend is like your guy. Somewhat short, but successful and career and family oriented but single at age 45 (is he a marathoner? Maybe this is my friend.) Reason he and others like him are often single is shyness. He isn't good at approaching women so he gets beat out by the more aggressive men.

[Anonymous]

I met one of these once- everything appeared to be perfect. I stayed with him for about 4-5 years and no-go. Had to give up b/c i wanted marriage and children and he did not. Even tried counseling and still no. His ex girlfriend said to him "marry her - she's perfect for you!" and still no.

Oh well- i still miss him but am happy now with DH (15 yrs) and DCs

[Anonymous]

Married to his career all these years, perhaps? He's getting older and surely is feeling a shift in who would consider him a prospect. Sometimes a change in market forces causes a change in tune!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:has he had any long term relationships? How does he describe his previous girlfriends? What are his deal breakers?

Good questions.

And to the one that used the insensitive comments, super fiscal much?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fear of commitment or he is short, fat, bald, ugly. Maybe all of those.

He's 5'8", not fat, not bald, not ugly. He's in GREAT shape. He's awesome in bed and will try anything. He's romantic, thoughtful, hot for me. He has said that he wants to get married and have a child but hasn't found "the one".

Why is baldness always looked at so negatively? I'm 6', good shape, and have thinning hair. Feel like women are going to look at me like a loser.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fear of commitment or he is short, fat, bald, ugly. Maybe all of those.

He's 5'8", not fat, not bald, not ugly. He's in GREAT shape. He's awesome in bed and will try anything. He's romantic, thoughtful, hot for me. He has said that he wants to get married and have a child but hasn't found "the one".

Why is baldness always looked at so negatively? I'm 6', good shape, and have thinning hair. Feel like women are going to look at me like a loser.

Personally, I love running my fingers through a guys hair when we're hot and heavy, so I think it's personal preference

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fear of commitment or he is short, fat, bald, ugly. Maybe all of those.

He's 5'8", not fat, not bald, not ugly. He's in GREAT shape. He's awesome in bed and will try anything. He's romantic, thoughtful, hot for me. He has said that he wants to get married and have a child but hasn't found "the one".

Why is baldness always looked at so negatively? I'm 6', good shape, and have thinning hair. Feel like women are going to look at me like a loser.

Nah. Most women I know, myself included, aren't at all phased by thinning hair or bald men.

[Anonymous]

I agree bald is not an issue for many women, especially those that are over 35. In your 20's and bald is tough but after that, assuming that you take care of yourself, not an issue. I see plenty of sexy bald men. I'm married but if I were single, baldness would not be an issue.

[Anonymous]

I would find out what he meant by "the one". Is he looking for something impossible? Did he stay with women who he knew weren't right for too long.

I know a guy who is now in his mid-50's. Never married. He happens to be short and bald, but has no problem getting women. He is smart, makes good money and unbelievable in bed. But he has issues. The women he dates that would make good wives and mothers, he never falls in love with them. He falls in deep like, But then he just stays there.

The woman who treat him like crap, one was even physically abusive towards him, yeah, those are the ones he falls madly in love with. At least his head is smart enough to not marry these women. But he is looking to have the same intense feeling with the good, nice women that he has with these horrible, mean women and it's never happened.

[Anonymous]

So I met my DH when he was about 45 also, and wondering the same thing at first - how can this fantastic man (funny, warm, athletic, handsome, great job, "normal" without any obvious glaring flaws) have never been married??? He'd had a string of two year relationships, and for a long time had been a workaholic--- I met him I think when the "time was right" and he proposed within a few months! Go for it! For some men, it is about timing and it may take them longer to reach the point to want to get married/have kids - but when they meet the right person, they are ready!

[Anonymous]

I know plenty of guys who have never married by that age.

Some genuinely have no interest in getting married, and they tend to say that upfront.

Others are completely open to it if they meet the right girl, but it's not something that drives them to do anything out of the ordinary. A lot of my guy friends like this have in fact met someone and married, late in life. For the most part, they're normal guys, maybe a little pickier than some of their peers.

A few are single and obsessed with finding the girl, so they are constantly online, looking for love. Some of these guys have codependency issues or completely unrealistic expectations or other issues.

[Anonymous]

re: bald - I think the only women turned off by bald are the women with bald dads. It's hard sometimes to date a guy who on some level reminds you of your dad.

"balding" is really only a turnoff if the guy is trying to mask it by combing over, combing forward or doing other obvious things to put off the obvious. Just cut it really short.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:re: bald - I think the only women turned off by bald are the women with bald dads. It's hard sometimes to date a guy who on some level reminds you of your dad.

"balding" is really only a turnoff if the guy is trying to mask it by combing over, combing forward or doing other obvious things to put off the obvious. Just cut it really short.

This plus most women in their late thirties and older accept that men go bald. Early twenties and early thirties women may consider it a dealbreaker but older women mostly no.