welp my kid cut herself so badly she needs stitches

[Anonymous]

I'm glad she is okay, and glad you have a plan in place. It's so overwhelming but having family support can make all the difference. I think you are handling it well.

[Anonymous]

OP, please, at your own home and at your parents' house when you go there (did the doctors say it was OK to do that? I really would get her therapist's explicit clearance for it) -- please gather and lock away anything she can use to cut. Taking razors won't necessarily do the job. A friend just had to, under a doctor's order, remove ALL possible cutting implements from the entire house, including not just razors and kitchen knives but also things like peelers and tinfoil/plastic wrap boxes which have cutting edges, because friend's teen son did just what your daughter did -- cut again pretty badly after a while of stopping.

Your DD could get to your parents' house and find razors in their bathroom cabinet, nail scissors, who knows what in the kitchen. Not trying to scare you but trying to let you know that in a very similar case the doctor wanted EVERY possible cutting edge out of the teen's reach--as in, locked up, not just hidden. And the fact you're going to someone else's home where you won't know what's in all the drawers and closets - that would concern me. Removing these things may sound like a lack of trust in the teen, and frankly it is, but think of it as removing some of the temptation to cut and making it harder to take that route for comfort. And there's no need to tell her or make a big deal of removing things.

The option for intensive outpatient treatment may be one to ask the therapist about. It might not be right for this time but should be something you learn about in case it's needed. And meanwhile, ask the therapist if you need to just remove any temptation to cut by removing cutting implements, even ones that wouldn't occur to most of us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, please, at your own home and at your parents' house when you go there (did the doctors say it was OK to do that? I really would get her therapist's explicit clearance for it) -- please gather and lock away anything she can use to cut. Taking razors won't necessarily do the job. A friend just had to, under a doctor's order, remove ALL possible cutting implements from the entire house, including not just razors and kitchen knives but also things like peelers and tinfoil/plastic wrap boxes which have cutting edges, because friend's teen son did just what your daughter did -- cut again pretty badly after a while of stopping.

Your DD could get to your parents' house and find razors in their bathroom cabinet, nail scissors, who knows what in the kitchen. Not trying to scare you but trying to let you know that in a very similar case the doctor wanted EVERY possible cutting edge out of the teen's reach--as in, locked up, not just hidden. And the fact you're going to someone else's home where you won't know what's in all the drawers and closets - that would concern me. Removing these things may sound like a lack of trust in the teen, and frankly it is, but think of it as removing some of the temptation to cut and making it harder to take that route for comfort. And there's no need to tell her or make a big deal of removing things.

The option for intensive outpatient treatment may be one to ask the therapist about. It might not be right for this time but should be something you learn about in case it's needed. And meanwhile, ask the therapist if you need to just remove any temptation to cut by removing cutting implements, even ones that wouldn't occur to most of us.

I'm sorry, but whoever gave your friend that advice was foolish. If a kid is going to cut, they will use anything, absolutely anything. It's a lot easier to deal with a clean cut than a jagged rip made from a key or plastic silverware. It's not possible to take away every single thing that a cutter will use, it just isn't. The only way to prevent it is to have someone awake with them 24 hours a day.

[Anonymous]

Don't forget if she needs time off from school to seek further treatment, etc the school system can provide someone to come out and tutor, etc. Your psychiatrist can probably help get it set up.

[Anonymous]

I'm surprised they ok'ed the vacation. Vacation will start out good but the moment you have to return you could get a downward spiral of emotions.

[Anonymous]

I've heard a change of scenery can be very good. I had depression as a teenager and a very remote camping trip with some of my family was a bit of a turning point for me. I'm sure it helped a lot.

[Anonymous]

OP here. DD just finished her therapy. Therapist agrees with plan--again--and had DD sign a contract stating that she would come to me or call her therapist if she feels like cutting while we are at her grandparents. There will be 3 adults to keep an eye on her and she knows that the expectation is that she will be with one of us. My parents have already gone through and removed razors and such from the bathroom. Therapist is looking into an IOP with some kind of DBT component for next week.

[Anonymous]

OP, you are handling this really well. As a former cutter, thank you. Thinking of you and your daughter.

[Anonymous]

Maybe BPD? Any eating disorders or alcoholism in family? Check out Gunderson in Massachusets.

[Anonymous]

NP here--OP's kid is too young for an official dx of BPD but it's not a bad idea to look at programs that deal with emerging symptoms of BPD. Gunderson is self pay though and CRAZY expensive. but mclean hospital itself has a variety of programs some of which do take insurance. i can speak personally to the Hill Center PHP and the DBT training clinic both of which are excellent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First of all I am sorry she is hurting and that you and your family are hurting too.

I have one comment: restrict her access to Instagram which she may refer to as IG or Insta w/ friends. Even if you know and monitor her main account, it is likely that she will see things there that may fuel this behavior, or even have a sub account. If you do not believe me, search any of a variety of hashtags such as "bipolar"* on your own device and see what returns.

Instagram has become a haven for young women in pain and there is a deep sub-culture related to cutting. Source: this connects to some professional work in mobile tech and a related family experience. Wishing the best for her and you.

*I am not implying your daughter is bipolar or there is shame in bipolar. This is simply the hashtag that came to mind.

Tumblr has as many, if not more, instances of glamorizing self harm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, please, at your own home and at your parents' house when you go there (did the doctors say it was OK to do that? I really would get her therapist's explicit clearance for it) -- please gather and lock away anything she can use to cut. Taking razors won't necessarily do the job. A friend just had to, under a doctor's order, remove ALL possible cutting implements from the entire house, including not just razors and kitchen knives but also things like peelers and tinfoil/plastic wrap boxes which have cutting edges, because friend's teen son did just what your daughter did -- cut again pretty badly after a while of stopping.

Your DD could get to your parents' house and find razors in their bathroom cabinet, nail scissors, who knows what in the kitchen. Not trying to scare you but trying to let you know that in a very similar case the doctor wanted EVERY possible cutting edge out of the teen's reach--as in, locked up, not just hidden. And the fact you're going to someone else's home where you won't know what's in all the drawers and closets - that would concern me. Removing these things may sound like a lack of trust in the teen, and frankly it is, but think of it as removing some of the temptation to cut and making it harder to take that route for comfort. And there's no need to tell her or make a big deal of removing things.

The option for intensive outpatient treatment may be one to ask the therapist about. It might not be right for this time but should be something you learn about in case it's needed. And meanwhile, ask the therapist if you need to just remove any temptation to cut by removing cutting implements, even ones that wouldn't occur to most of us.

I'm sorry, but whoever gave your friend that advice was foolish. If a kid is going to cut, they will use anything, absolutely anything. It's a lot easier to deal with a clean cut than a jagged rip made from a key or plastic silverware. It's not possible to take away every single thing that a cutter will use, it just isn't. The only way to prevent it is to have someone awake with them 24 hours a day.

You are absolutely right. They will find anything to use to cut. When my DS was in the 5th grade he grabbed a paper clip during school, straightened it so it was a straight line, and used that to cut up his arms while in school.

[Anonymous]

OP, not sure if you mentioned it but is her father in her life? Is he on board?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm surprised they ok'ed the vacation. Vacation will start out good but the moment you have to return you could get a downward spiral of emotions.

Not true. I was the first PP to post that we did this was my daughter and it did her so much good. Getting out of your teen negative circle is enlightening and let's these kids have an idea that there is truly more to life than what they are thinking/stressing about 24/7. I am not saying it will be a cure all and she will come back with no issues but it is a complete breath of fresh air. She will sleep well, eat well, laugh, get outdoors, probably play board games, travel, and be surrounded by 3 people that know exactly what is going on and still just love her. Instead of forcing things and making her try to change and push her back into school immediately they are saying "the hell to school, your friends, and all that shit - YOU are more important than that. We will do anything for you." The OP's daughter will feel that. Mine did and it helped her get out of that negative spiral and we have been so much closer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd request that she be admitted to an adolescent psych unit.

[phone]!!!!!!!!!!!!