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love the idea of just taking off with her for a couple days. will definitely talk to the drs and her therapist about that!
we are still waiting for the psych people to come. they said the social worker is about 30 minutes out. |
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Hi. Hugs to you. I would keep her off social media if you can. There is a lot of cutting on Instagram
Was she abused? Bullied? Rejected by a boy? Cutting and eating disorders are Similar and the causes are similar. Be present with her as often as you can. When she is a lone is when the feelings are going to be worse For her. I think you need to determine why she has this internal pain or anxiety and treat that. Also, if she isn't suicidal avoid inpatient. |
Shady Grove Adventist is better than Sheppard Pratt. |
| She needs a psych consult or an inpatient admission. Now. |
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I am so sorry, OP. Hanging on there. Teens are the tough years. She will get through it with your love and support.
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| OP, my DD used to cut herself as well. She is 17 now, so she and your DD are peers. I think the advice for inpatient treatment is WAY too intense. She told you about this bad, deep cut, you responded appropriately and it sounds like she already has a professional support system in place. Bring her home, watch her carefully, obviously get in to an appointment with her psychiatrist (does she have a counselor/pyschologist too? In my limited experience, even good psychiatrists are not great with the 'talk therapy' part of therapy) and as another PP suggested, maybe get out of town for a few days. The whole inpatient thing sounds WAY too much. Cutting is not suicidal -- it's a totally different, albeit very scary, behavior and reaction. Good luck. My heart goes out to you and your family. |
I have to agree with this. She was not trying to kill herself, rather she was trying to relieve stress...and it got out of hand. |
| As a former cutter, I disagree. If it is that bad, she needs inpatient or IOP. It doesn't matter that she isn't intending to kill herself. That can happen accidentally. Her current treatment plan isn't sufficient. My mother put off getting me the real help I needed. I don't resent her at all for her but it's just the truth. Why? Because I was so scared/upset about it that she thought doing it would make it worse and make me not trust her. In the end, I owe her my life, regardless of how mad I was at the time. |
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I was put inpatient one time when I didn't actually need to be. It was traumatizing and humiliating and when the psychiatrist finally saw me (2 days later) he literally said "you don't belong in here" and sent me home.
She didn't cut her wrists. She's not trying to die. I wouldn't go inpatient now. It will be scary and it won't actually help and she might not tell you if she cuts herself bad again. |
Same experience here. |
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First of all I am sorry she is hurting and that you and your family are hurting too.
I have one comment: restrict her access to Instagram which she may refer to as IG or Insta w/ friends. Even if you know and monitor her main account, it is likely that she will see things there that may fuel this behavior, or even have a sub account. If you do not believe me, search any of a variety of hashtags such as "bipolar"* on your own device and see what returns. Instagram has become a haven for young women in pain and there is a deep sub-culture related to cutting. Source: this connects to some professional work in mobile tech and a related family experience. Wishing the best for her and you. *I am not implying your daughter is bipolar or there is shame in bipolar. This is simply the hashtag that came to mind. |
| Tell your daughter not to be afraid of going to the hospital. A few of my DC's friends spent some time at Dominion, and it was fine. I am very sorry to hear about what happened to her. Hugs. |
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My DD went inpatient for some issues - it was a turning point for her in that she finally took some ownership for her responsibility for her treatment.
I think inpatient might heavilly depend on the program - could be that if you have a good one, it could be a good experience. For us, it helped. The advice to go away for a few days, etc - you don't want to reward the behavior if it is at all attention seeking. Not sure if it is, but cutting these days can be different for different kids - for some its an attention seeking behavior. For others it is not. Get good advice from qualified professionals. |
| Any updates, OP? |
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thanks to everyone for the thoughts. we met with the dr and social worker and i spoke to her therapist. the plan right now is, she will see her therapist tomorrow am and on friday she will see therapist again as well as psychiatrist. she and i are going away tomorrow after she sees therapist--we are going to visit my parents. they live near a beach that my daughter loves and she adores my parents, who are basically the exact people you want in your corner if anything goes wrong. she is going to discuss IOP with her therapist and also via phone with the school guidance counselor tomorrow and how she might balance treatment and school. ER doc also suggested we look at DBT or CBT program so we will be looking into that. no hospital for now but we all let her know that it is something that is on the table if it becomes necessary. DD agreed to have her bedroom door open for now and to toss her razor blades (with me). the social worker and doc that saw her tonight both felt that while this is incredibly scary for DD (and for me!) it may serve as kind of a wake up call for her--she did not mean to cut this badly and they think it's probable that being that scared will serve as a way to motivate her to take treatment more seriously. they also both told me that she comes across as quite insightful and intelligent about what drove this and the stressors involved, which was good to hear, and neither were THAT concerned (they were concerned, obviously, but not...THAT concerned, i guess?)
thank you again. what a night. |