NYC Wedding gift amount

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I got married in NYC six years ago (we're both from there). The only people who gave us less than $1,000 were our friends who were in college or grad school.

Nobody would ever give cash - everyone gave checks. Cash would be outrageously tacky. In my experience the toasters and cake platters on a registry are supposed to be engagement gifts, rather than wedding gifts.

FWIW, we are Italian. I would say 50% of attendees were mostly WASP, Jewish and Italian.

I don't understand the difference. Checks, ok. Cash, outrageously tacky? What makes one ok and not the other when they both essentially gifts of "cash".

[Anonymous]

I'll stick to my church dining hall weddings where the couples are appreciative of any and all gifts, money or otherwise, that they receive. Gratitude is a virtue.

[Anonymous]

I am floored by this discussion. I'm a New Yorker who got married there 15 years ago and most gifts that we registered for and received were in the $100 range (I registered at Bloomingdales, Williams Sonoma and Scully and Scully). We received very few monetary gifts, no cash, only checks and I found it really weird to receive money. I don't think any of the checks were for more than $100-$125. Who are you people?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am floored by this discussion. I'm a New Yorker who got married there 15 years ago and most gifts that we registered for and received were in the $100 range (I registered at Bloomingdales, Williams Sonoma and Scully and Scully). We received very few monetary gifts, no cash, only checks and I found it really weird to receive money. I don't think any of the checks were for more than $100-$125. Who are you people?

Wondering the same thing. My wedding was in NY about 7 years ago. The money gifts were about $100-$250. I think my aunt may have given us $500, but that would have been an outlier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am floored by this discussion. I'm a New Yorker who got married there 15 years ago and most gifts that we registered for and received were in the $100 range (I registered at Bloomingdales, Williams Sonoma and Scully and Scully). We received very few monetary gifts, no cash, only checks and I found it really weird to receive money. I don't think any of the checks were for more than $100-$125. Who are you people?

Wondering the same thing. My wedding was in NY about 7 years ago. The money gifts were about $100-$250. I think my aunt may have given us $500, but that would have been an outlier.

I think it's a very Jewish or NJ thing. I got married in the south and had heard about New Yorkers giving cash. Most attending my wedding gave gifts from our registry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Same as you would give for anyone else. Geography is not a factor.

Only believe this if you want to look cheap. I got married 10 years ago, and peopel have $250-$500. If it's a Jewish or an Italian wedding, at least $500.

So you can't have friends who aren't wealthy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'll stick to my church dining hall weddings where the couples are appreciative of any and all gifts, money or otherwise, that they receive. Gratitude is a virtue.

I find this thread appalling. It seems that these people who expect $400+ gifts can't be friends with people who aren't wealthy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Same as you would give for anyone else. Geography is not a factor.

Only believe this if you want to look cheap. I got married 10 years ago, and peopel have $250-$500. If it's a Jewish or an Italian wedding, at least $500.

So you can't have friends who aren't wealthy?

If they are they will buy presents off of your registry. Not giving you cash like you're immigrating to another country and only have room in your one suitcase for cash.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate how cash is given in Ny at weddings. It's almost like you're paying to attend the wedding. I've heard you're supposed to give the cost of your attendance. So if it's 250 a head then 500 as a couple.

However, our wedding was 250 a head and I don't think anyone gave us a 500 wedding gift.

I think it also depends on if the crowd is Jewish, waspy etc. the old money crowd isn't as big into cash payments at weddings.

+1

It is gross.

This i not at all a NYC thing. I have been to weddings all over the country. Most the the time people come with cards with cash or checks. How is it "gross"?

Actually it is. If you don't understand why it's crass you never will. I find giving gifts of cash very tacky.

It is very tacky. In my circle, giving cash as a "gift" is unheard of. But I'm not from New York, and my family is an old one. I think it's a new money, Yankee thing.

[Anonymous]

Millennial here, no one I know prefers gifts over cash. Most of us can't afford down payments and have lived on our own or with a significant other so we don't need things, we need cash. This is the first I've heard of cash as tacky and would never view it that way.

[Anonymous]

DH is from a large Italian family from NY and when we got married 13 years ago everyone from his side gave checks. Our wedding was not expensive, and I don't think was thinking of trying to cover the costs of the wedding - it's just what they were used to. I'd never heard of this, and was surprised that no one in his family had gotten anything off the registry and absolutely floored after the reception when DH pulled a stack of envelopes out of his jacket. Most were $300, a few were less.

My family and friends are from MD, and everyone gave gifts from BBB and Williams Sonoma, not a single check. It's definitely a cultural thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Millennial here, no one I know prefers gifts over cash. Most of us can't afford down payments and have lived on our own or with a significant other so we don't need things, we need cash. This is the first I've heard of cash as tacky and would never view it that way.

Gift-giving isn't about what you need, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am floored by this discussion. I'm a New Yorker who got married there 15 years ago and most gifts that we registered for and received were in the $100 range (I registered at Bloomingdales, Williams Sonoma and Scully and Scully). We received very few monetary gifts, no cash, only checks and I found it really weird to receive money. I don't think any of the checks were for more than $100-$125. Who are you people?

You're not from NYC if you are "floored" by this discussion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Millennial here, no one I know prefers gifts over cash. Most of us can't afford down payments and have lived on our own or with a significant other so we don't need things, we need cash. This is the first I've heard of cash as tacky and would never view it that way.

Gift-giving isn't about what you need, though.

...? You give gifts that people don't need or want?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Millennial here, no one I know prefers gifts over cash. Most of us can't afford down payments and have lived on our own or with a significant other so we don't need things, we need cash. This is the first I've heard of cash as tacky and would never view it that way.

Gift-giving isn't about what you need, though.

...? You give gifts that people don't need or want?

I think the point was that gift-giving shouldn't make the giver uncomfortable. Some people truly are uncomfortable giving cash, for whatever reason. Surely one can think of some nice things to register for, even if its electronics on amazon.