Talk me out of having a third child? or not?

[Anonymous]

DH doesn't want another and you are ambivalent....I think you're done, OP!

[Anonymous]

Love my third child! After three wish I could have had more.

[Anonymous]

If your heart wants a third child and you are trying to talk yourself out of it, you will regret later on not trying.

[Anonymous]

I'm expecting my third right now, but there's no way, NO way, we would have gone for three if we won't both fully on board. No "he'll do what I want"--no way. That goes for any major life decision, I think, but particularly something so encompassing as having another child. Heck, I wouldn't have had either of the first two if DH and I weren't completely in agreement. That's a one-way ticket to Resentmentville.

[Anonymous]

I'm deciding whether to have a third, or be done, too! My gut says stop. My husband's gut says stop.

But.... there is this little (big?, I don't know) part of me that thinks down the road it will be SO fun to have had a bigger family. I came from 7 kids (I don't want nearly that many). My husband comes from 4. It has been so fun throughout life to have more siblings, more nieces and nephews, and more cousins for my kids. We have a boy and girl. It would be so fun for our daughter to have a sister and to know what that's like (or our son to have a brother).

I'm 31. If we have a third, we want to try soon so we can THEN be done that much earlier. I'm DEFINITELY not having a third in a few years from now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Love my third child! After three wish I could have had more.

We ALL love our children (or child) that isn't the issue. The reality is that kids pay money, and demand time, and attention, and are never perfect. If
I had five children, I would definitely love them all, but I would not be able to feed them. Sad. But true.

[Anonymous]

I really thought we would have three but two have knocked us out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS's BF is one of three really awesome boys - so this is an outsiders view into a family that we are very close with. Both parents work insane schedules & nanny is great but stretched thin; their house is in perpetual chaos. They can't afford to go anywhere with the whole family (5 flight tix, plus an extra room at nearly every hotel). They were counting on going to the very good local public schools, but it turns out oldest needs a lot more support & the second has dyslexia - so they are exploring private schools for at least 2/3 kids. They have zero in college savings. They're sad that their extended family won't stay with them any more because of the 'circus' atmosphere - so all of their original hopes for big, extended family holidays are not happening. They frequently mention feeling exhausted, as if they are gasping for breath and trying to keep everything from sinking. They feel guilty that their kids can't do as many enrichment activities or wind up having to sit around at one another's activities a lot because of the expense & scheduling - (both work late + weekends & nanny can't be in more than one place at a time). They adore their kids, but really don't seem very happy.

If you're still serious about this, do you have any young nieces/nephews that you can host for a week or two this summer to give it a test run? It would give their parents a break & you a chance to test your capacity to function with an extra child in the mix.

Yes, please think about the possibility of one or more children needing an unusual degree of academic support. That happens.

[Anonymous]

Zika

[Anonymous]

The environment says no.

[Anonymous]

I only had two and regret not having third. But the two I do have are so much fun!

[Anonymous]

After our second, we didn't feel done. I can't imagine life without the third. Sure, 3 kids is chaotic and expensive, but we are already in "kid mode" so it's fine. When you think ahead to your holiday dinner 10-20 years from now, how many people do you want there? Big families are fun!