un-friending someone on Facebook

[Anonymous]

Sounds like a good plan, OP. You never know what is going on when you suddenly don't hear from someone. They could have a huge project going on or have gone out of town or be sick or have a sick family member. By the time they get back to Facebook, they've forgotten about the exchange. Your friend may not even be thinking about fertility.

Or maybe they just don't normally get on it everyday. For example, I started on Facebook only to keep an eye on my teenager. I talked my sister into getting onto facebook so she could easily get our vacation pictures but that was about it for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you for all the replies. Just to clarify, this was a real life friend -- someone i grew up with. I have 'friended' lots of people from childhood whom I honestly haven't thought of in years, and we always do an email exchange catching up on life, then move on to regular 'facebook' exchanges -- i.e, occasionally checking or commenting on their wall. I am not talking about her not commenting on how cute my kids are, or making a post to my wall. I am talking about having an email exchange (via facebook) with a former friend, that suddenly ends after "I have kids." I appreciate the PP's who shared how hard it is to suffer with fertility problems, because honestly I interpreted it as her being upset because i had something she wanted and didn't have, and that's not friendship.

Thanks again to the PP's who shared their feelings about how painful infertility can be and I'm going to give my 'friend' a pass.

Good for you! I really suspect this is the crux of your friend's problem. If she has always been a good friend other than this, I suspect that she is in a lot of pain.

I am not a jealous or envious person, but when I experienced fertility problems, I hardly recognized myself and I HATED myself for feeling nasty towards my friends celebrating their births and pregnancies. I would outwardly do all the "pleasant things" one does when someone has a baby (unlike your friend), which includes pretending to be happy for them when I was dying inside. I hope I covered it well, but I just wanted to cry my eyes out all the time.

I know ultimately is is selfish not to be happy for someone experiencing the amazing wonders parenthood brings, but I can tell you it is really hard for some of us to come to terms with the facts that our bodies are not working properly. It is a terrible feeling to feel like you are "defective". Just know that TRULY, it is not you, it is her.

[Anonymous]

If she is really a real friend as you keep emphasizing why don't you pick up the phone and call her? It sounds like she could use the support. While I am a big fan of FB and email, so much gets lost in translation. Sometimes I forget to respond to an email simply because it went below the bottom of the first page of the screen. Doesn't mean I am somehow shunning the person - just means i am busy and forgot. And FB is about 100 times worse for all the reasons cited already.