adults calling kids "babe" and "girlfriend"

[Anonymous]

That is exactly what I was thinking!

[Anonymous]

I'm a bit surprised by some of the responses - I don't think a grown man working with children should be calling a girl "babe," whether he's gay or straight. I think that it is always best to keep things at the lowest possible level, meaning that rather than submitting an anonymous note to the principal, it's best to address it to the teacher. It's not helicoptering, it's expressing your discomfort with something in a respectful way to another adult, in this case, the teacher, who may not have considered what his language sounds like to the parents.

[Anonymous]

who may not have considered what his language sounds like to the parents.

Or eight-year-old boys and girls, which is the point! It's terrible modeling. Also, a parent can never, ever predict how a teacher is going to respond. An anonymous note to the principal is sometimes more politic for the child as well as the parent. It's not tattle-taling, it's eliminating the risk of any retaliation toward the child. Of course only OP can assess how the teacher might respond. And by the way personally, I always start with the teacher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No wonder it's a challenge to attract and keep teachers in the field. Every offended parent thinks their entitled to dictate a teacher's life just because this person has contact with their children. After you've decided on the words a teacher is and is not allowed to use near your children, I suppose you'll be chasing down the teacher's other lifestyle issues. Heaven forfend he eat a cheeseburger and fries in front of your DC because that sets a bad example...

You can't control your child's environment. You need to learn this now.

I agree with this 100%. Some of you need to get a grip. And, you're really projecting your . . . I don't know what. Fears? Insecurities?

Sounds like it may not be a good fit between some of you and the teacher's style of teaching. So what? Absent any other indicia that this guy is a pedophile (which is what some of you people are implying based solely on his speech), you don't get to dictate how he talks to his class. He is not using slurs or perjoratives. He's being informal and trying to connect with the students. BTW, in my experience, those types of teachers were the BEST ones that I've had (still remember them fondly) and there was no mistake that they were authority figures when the situation called for it.

Is he a good teacher? Does he connect with his students? ARe they learning from and engaged in him and his lessons? These are the things that matter.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, but I consider "babe" and "girlfriend" from someone to whom I am neither to be a slur and a pejorative.

[Anonymous]

Is he a good teacher? Does he connect with his students? ARe they learning from and engaged in him and his lessons? These are the things that matter.

Yes they matter but they are not the only thing that matters. Boundaries matter. Modeling matters. The teacher can find other way to connect with students.

[Anonymous]

A previous poster chiming in again...I certainly have not met this man, however, from what has been said I have met many people like him. I am guessing that using "babe" or "girlfriend" is not a way to "connect to the kids" or a way to "look cool." It is simply part of his everyday vocabularly. If it truly bothers you, just talk to him about it. Please do it nicely and in a way that is comfortable for BOTH parties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No wonder it's a challenge to attract and keep teachers in the field. Every offended parent thinks their entitled to dictate a teacher's life just because this person has contact with their children. After you've decided on the words a teacher is and is not allowed to use near your children, I suppose you'll be chasing down the teacher's other lifestyle issues. Heaven forfend he eat a cheeseburger and fries in front of your DC because that sets a bad example...

You can't control your child's environment. You need to learn this now.

Yes, it is a slippery slope--NOT.

Stop your whining, poster.

This teacher is being inappropriate, OP. A man in his mid 30s should not be calling 8 year old girls "babe." It's gross. And it's not a "lifestyle" issue--it's just inappropriate.

When did we start questioning our instincts so much? It's f*cking inappropriate!

You are the whiner, you idiot. (PP isn't the one complaining - YOU are.) Stop helicoptering. It's sad. And for the love of God don't go sending anonymous notes to the principal. Grow a pair and act like an adult.

[Anonymous]

You are the whiner, you idiot. (PP isn't the one complaining - YOU are.) Stop helicoptering. It's sad. And for the love of God don't go sending anonymous notes to the principal. Grow a pair and act like an adult.

Sending an anonymous note to a principal is not always a cowardly act. As noted, sometimes it protects the child and the parent from hostility. Of course direction commnunication is always ideal, and I always start with the teacher myself. But this is such a weird one that I would consider dropping an anonymous note.

I'd ask other parents. I once had suspicions about one of my child's teachers and didn't ask around and just this month learned things from my child that were worrisome red flags (he liked to spend time alone with fourth grade boys -- never a good sign that). I don't think that's happening here, this teacher is being overt and probably doesn't get the connotation. Oh, and guess what: if this teacher had children this age, he'd know better.

It's funny that "helicoptering" has become a knee-jerk slam when you don't agree with someone.

[Anonymous]

In my view, it is no more appropriate for a teacher to call any child babe or girlfriend than it would be for my supervisor at my office to call me those names. Like every issue, this can certainly be raised politely, directly and respecfully, and I wouldn't think wouldn't think would need to rise to the level of keeping others from joining the teaching profession!